Love-Smitten Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A love-smitten guy was irate…
or
A love-smitten gal was irate…
Here’s mine:
Love-Smitten Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A love-smitten guy was irate
When his dream-gal denied being straight.
He just wasn’t buying
And swore she was lying
To fend off his quest for a date.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Dating Humor, Dating Poem, Love Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A love-smitten girl was irate.
Her lover would always gyrate
In a dizzying fashion
At moments of passion.
She got cross when he told her ‘Just wait!’
Still bringing out the worst in me, I see! Now to attend to the Sunday Roast.
a love smitten guy was irate
when his wardrobe his love did berate
his checkerboard shoes
did he always choose
got left left at the altar that day
A love-smitten guy was irate
When he found his mate
She was pleasing her self
With an item from the shelf
An increasingly common trait
A love-smitten guy was irate…
When his ladylove refused to conjugate,
Their chemistry was all wrong,
And they split up erelong,
For, his tantrums, she wouldn’t tolerate.
A love-smitten gal was irate…
About her beau’s flubs, of late
His faux pas and pratfall
And the bloopers he let fall
Finally made her ardor abate.
A love-smitten gal was irate
when she saw her true love’s license plate,
since it said, “IAMGAME,”
instead of her name.
Soon his car met an unpleasant fate.
A love-smitten guy was irate
when his honey did absquatulate *
with his heart and his cash.
Now his teeth he does gnash
since she turned out to be his stole-mate.
(* to absquatulate means to run off, particularly with something, which may not be yours.)
A love-smitten guy was irate,
as his wife gained more baby weight.
His girl friend was due.
The nanny was too.
His vasectomy? A little too late.
RJ, that was funny and educational.
A love-smitten guy was irate
But conceded that it must have been fate
“I was thinking with my dick”
“And not very quick”
Now he’s in a relationship he can barely tolerate
A love-smitten gal was irate.
How dare someone investigate,
and learn her husband’s diploma,
from Tulsa, Oklahoma,
is good only for post-defecate.
‘Cuz she is the lead candidate,
on a platform of bias and hate.
Now, how long can she hide,
her husband’s gay side?
Goddamn that lib’rul Fourth Estate!
A love-smitten guy was irate
When his pics crashed the Twitter floodgates
He didn’t stop to think
About the career ending brink
Of sending one’s junk to jailbait.
A love-smitten guy was irate
At the wedding of William and Kate
“If that fellow touches
“One hair of the Duchess
“I shan’t buy a souvenir plate!”
A love-smitten guy was irate
when the gal refused him a date.
So he put on a mask,
dressed the part for the task;
she stood up and clapped with her mate.
Hey Scott…♥
A love-smitten guy was irate
When his bed partner begged him to wait:
“I am seventy-three
And I’m holding my pee
Do you want me to LIVE or abate?”
These are so fun.
A love-smitten guy was irate
That a lady he wanted to date
Was doggedly fending
Him off, she said, “Pending
A check on your out-of-state plate.”
A love-smitten guy was irate
That the woman he loved made him wait;
Said she: “No more sex
‘Til I’ve answered each text
From Archibald, Wesley and Nate.”
A love-smitten gal was irate
’cause she went with a real reprobate
He was lazy and greedy
And boy, was he needy
But his paintings do hang in the Tate.
A love smitten guy was irate
When he found his sweet love in a state
Politely described
As ‘over imbided’
And in bed with the coxless eight.
A love-smitten girl was irate
By her beau who was chronically late.
Be on time, she said, or be gone,
You’re OK, but you’re no Don Juan,
So let your tardiness settle our fate.
Thanks for your fun limericks! Please keep them coming! And feel free to cross-post them on my Facebook page if you’re active on Facebook.
A love-smitten guy was irate
That his member refused to inflate.
The eye of his affection
Consoled his dejection
But privately said it was great.
A love-smitten guy was irate
His love-bitten girlfriend berat-
ed his cheek
for spoiling her week
so she declined to co-operate.
A love-smitten gal was irate
when her guy showed up late for their date
The smell of perfume
drifted into the room
then her love quickly turned into hate
A love smitten guy was irate
At being dumped on a “date”.
The reason for his undoing,
Was his attempt at wooing –
His mate, unfortunately, was straight.
A love-smitten gal was irate
When H. Lecter, (her beau) turned up late;
“My regrets,” he said quickly,
“But my tummy felt sickly,
“Probably just someone I ate.”
A love-smitten guy was irate
when he saw his big crush on a date.
And to his dismay
he found out that way
that a woman was his gal’s soul mate.
A love-smitten guy was irate.
At his wedding, his Mom mourned his fate.
“But why should she cry
Just because he’s a guy?
We’re legal in New York State!”
A love-smitten gal was irate
And took a new look at her fate.
“I thought that the louse
Was to give me a house.
Instead he just gave me the gate!”
A love-smitten gal was irate
When the deli man asked for a date:
Her hot tongue compelled,
His matzo balls swelled
And the great garlic dill sealed their fate.
A love-smitten gal was irate
When her man fled the deli mid-date:
Her pickle juice trickle
Made lover-boy fickle;
He took his knishes too – great!
A love-smitten guy was irate
cuz he thought himself an oversized buffet plate
that he had brought to love’s table,
but she had her eye on a dish named Mabel
that she had designs to masticate
A love-smitten guy was irate
when they all met his girlfriend with hate.
“Just because she’s divorced
and a Yank, I’ll be forced,”
said King Edward, “to go abdicate.”
A love-smitten girl was irate.
Her boyfriend had another date.
He swore it was nothing,
his other-girl doting.
But still his foot he ate.
A love-smitten girl was irate.
Her girlfriend had forgotten the date.
It had been one whole year,
so she shed just one tear.
But then her girlfriend showed up late.
:-)
Love reading your limericks! It’s a fun-filled page.
A love-smitten gal was irate.
He was late for her first concert date
With her great violin.
She thought it viol sin.
She restrung bow and beau, fiddling fate.
A love-smitten guy was irate
’cause his girlfriend was much too sedate.
“Come on–let down your hair;
Get your butt off the chair.
It’s nigh time that we two ‘conjugate.'”
The gal sat there, so stunned by his words.
“Are you speaking of verbs, bees or birds?”
Poor dude charged out the door,
went and joined the Peace Corps.
Now he’s shacking it up with Kurd’s herds.
A love-smitten man was irate,
his honeymoon plans in a state.
Half way to Niagara,
forgot his Viagra –
and pharmacies weren’t open late!
Thanks for all the laughter, Madeleine… Amy
Lost In The Weeds
My entry for Lim-of-the-Week
Could do with a slight meter tweak
So instead I shall go
With the version below
And hope you’ll forgive me my cheek! ;)
A love-smitten gal was irate
When H. Lecter, (her beau), turned up late;
“My regrets,” he said quickly,
“My tummy felt sickly,
“It’s probably someone I ate.”
A love-smitten guy was irate
‘Cuz he’d walked up, right time and right date
Seen her there, legs akimbo
‘Round a beau, love’s in limbo
And he question if it was just fate
A love-smitten guy was irate
‘Cuz he’d walked up, right time and right date
Seen her there, legs akimbo
‘Round a beau, love’s in limbo
And questioned if it was just fate
A love-smitten gal was irate,
when two foreign girls hit on her mate.
She said, “Keep it up bitches,
you’ll be f@*ked-up, with stitches!”
Some words you don’t need to translate.
profound as always.
thanks for linking.
A love-smitten gal was irate
That her chatter seemed starting to grate.
She talked up a flurry.
He left in a hurry.
She has joined “on-and-on anon.” late.
A love smitten guy was irate
When he got stuck at the front gate
He cursed at the latch
So he did not catch
Her leave out the back with a date
A love smitten gal was irate
Her beau took a girl she did hate
He chose wittier
Over prettier
Now he enjoys lively debate
Thanks for your fun limericks everyone, and please keep them coming!
A love-smitten gal was irate
With her beau from the ol’ Lone Star State.
She found out he preferred
To be zealously spurred
By a red-headed waitress, Big Kate.
Sorry, can you replace my previous attempt with the one below? I’ve just checked your header comment and realise that you take metre into account!
A love-smitten guy was irate
He’d spied his girlfriend with her mate
“You’re right I’ve a grouse!
You’re seeing your spouse!
Two-timing is something I hate!”
A love smitten guy was irate,
Loudly bemoaning his fate.
The love of his life
Would not be his wife
‘Coz she eloped with his best mate
Here’s mine:
Ego Drip
A love smitten gal was irate
When her boyfriend decided her fate.
You piss me off royal
You make my blood boil
In you I have found my soul mate!!
A love smitten guy was irate
When the love of his life lost some weight
I like my gals plump
And now you have no rump
You need some more food on your plate.
A love-smitten gal was irate
When her guy moved out of the state.
She trembled and paled.
“He’s left me,” she wailed.
“Was it just ’cause I told him I’m late?”
A love-smitten guy was irate
With the love of his life, name of Cate
When together, she ignored him
Often asking, “Is your name Tim?”
He knew then that her mind was on Nate.
Thanks again everyone for your fun limericks. This contest is now over and you can find the the winners list here.
But a new Limerick-Off contest is already afoot: Witless Limerick.