Freedom Loving Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. (Just because it’s Independence Day Weekend, doesn’t mean I’m free to ignore my versifying duties.)
So here’s the deal: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who always felt free…
or
A woman who always felt free…
Here’s mine:
Freedom Loving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who always felt free
To do what he wanted with glee
Applied freedom one way,
Saying “Do what I say,”
To all, so his friend list was wee.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Freedom Humor, Friendship, Independence Day, July 4th, July Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Naturist
These come round so quickly!
A fellow who always felt free
To be everything he could be
Walked off down the road
Without any clothes
And got stung on the ass by a bee
A fellow who always felt free
Decided to climb a tree
He climbed it with style
Once at the top smelled something vile
Realizing he just had a pee
A woman who always felt free…
To share her food pantry with me
Collected canned goods
From rich neighborhoods
Determined to feed the hungry
A fellow who always felt free
Managed a 4 AM tee
Those his wife would complain
And offered her disdain
To the tee so free our fellow would flee.
Oops! Correction needed.
A fellow who always felt free
Managed a 4 AM tee
Though his wife would complain
And offered her disdain
To the tee so free our fellow would flee.
Aaah. Much better.
A woman who always felt free
did not wear a bra, you see.
Her boobs they would jiggle
The boys would all giggle
but she didn’t care – Look at me!
That was her favorite refrain
because a bra caused her such pain
So as she went without
there was never a doubt
that she drove all the guys insane.
A fellow who always felt free
Bought a twenty-pound wheel of brie
The fellow said, “Jesus,
“These big stinky cheeses,
“Keep others a long way from me…”
A fellow who always felt free
Had chosen this for his life’s decree:
“If you find the fair ones good at the kettle,
Not too smart and willing to settle
You’ll always have whoopee without bending knee!”
A fellow who always felt free
Was an ‘unbuckled pants’ devotee
Not trying to be silly
He liked to …free willy
Thus, joined a nudist colony
A fellow who always felt free
To be open, outspoken, gutsy
Went a little too far
On the 4th, with the “Star
Spangled Banner” (performed anally).
A woman who always felt free
was suddenly charging a fee.
When the fourth started balking
she left him still talking
and reserved herself for the three.
Love it. :) Very clever and humerous.
A fellow who always felt free
Didn’t care who-all could see
‘It’s as broad as it’s long’
was his favourite song
in his shorts it was really quite wee.
A woman who always felt free
To offer advice lib’rally
Found some would revile
Her unfettered style;
She got smart, started charging a fee.
it is always fun to read your limerick.
perfectly composed.
smiles.
Happy Independent Day.
A woman who always felt free
to dress as weird as she be.
Went out in tie dye
for the 4th of July –
a true firecracker of glee.
Happy 4th!! :)
Please scratch the above… I ended up editing it a bit more before posting it on my site.
Do I look like Fireworks?
A woman who always felt free
to dress as weird as she be.
Went out in tie dye
for the 4th of July.
Firework colors made her feel pretty.
A woman who always felt free
To interpret the leaves of her tea
Found this spelled out one day
In her favorite Earl Gray:
“You’re a lunatic; switch to coffee!”
A woman who always felt free
Joined an H M O giving free tea.
Did she really think
She could just change her drink?
For coffee they charged a co-fee.
A fellow who always felt free
said, “I know what I want to be.”
He dropped out of school
and became quite a fool,
but his downfall he couldn’t foresee.
A fellow who always felt free
Saw the Mets and he shouted with glee,
As the organ notes rang,
And the fans stood and sang:
“Jose are you sure you can see?”
A woman who always felt free
To display herself bare to the knee,
Burnt her bra and her drawers,
Now she’s dealing with lawyers
‘Cause she shares more than we wish to see!
A fellow who always felt free
Had developed a strange way to pee.
He’d pull out his john,
And then tinkle upon
The first person he happened to see!
There once was a guy who always felt free
to advise his friends how they should be
He could not understand his bewildered friend Stan
Who from Toledo traveled to NY indecisively
He wrote:
There once was this guy from Toledo
Who once in New York knew not where to go
Should he cultured be
And visit the actual grand old opree
Or should he just find a hooker and image blow?
A fellow who always felt free
Went burgling one morning at three
He was caught on the job
By a policeman named Bob
Who slapped on the cuffs gleefully
……….
A fellow who always felt free
Raised up his ‘Old Glory’ with glee
But a bigoted hippie
From dear old Mississippi
Cried “Take it down now – Damned Yankee!”
……….
Love your limericks =)
A fellow who always felt free
To go for a higher degree
Had a BFA, MFA,
PhD, MBA,
MPPM and MD.
That’s pretty funny!
A fellow who always felt free
Doffed his pants, was revealed as a she.
He shimmied and pranced,
Out the back door she danced
Where only select folks could see.
A fellow who always felt free
To engage in prolonged gluttony
Got the shock of his life
When his doc stole his wife:
“Sorry, Harvey; Jim’s svelte, just like me.”
A woman who always felt free
To proclaim it was her destiny
To be widely applauded,
Felt cheated, defrauded
When Barack won the presidency.
A woman who always felt free
To display certain parts publicly
Gave a ticklish sneeze
From a sudden cool breeze:
Male bystanders applauded, aglee.
A fellow who always felt free
When alone on his boat, out at sea
Was dismayed when he landed;
His new wife demanded
To join him: “We’re happy now ~ see?”
A woman who always felt free
To require that her friends each agree
With her views was deluded.
Each person concluded,
Too-quick “yeses” caused misery.
A fellow who always felt free,
is foolish and too blind to see,
he’s a modern day drone,
chained to his smart phone,
and a slave to new technology.
A woman who always felt free,
to accept a big farm subsidy.
and watch her husband get paid,
from government Medicaid,
would deny the same to you and me.
A fellow who always felt free
said, “For a change: imprison me”
From petty theft to grand larceny
everything short of murder tried he
Now he’s being given the third degree
A fellow who always felt free
to always act bold & be gutsy,
snubbed everybody he knew
’till left with no friends. He got his cue:
Consider feelings, don’t cross boundaries.
A fellow who always felt free
Decided to head out to sea.
He loaded his boat
With some wine and a float
Then he sailed off to South Tennessee
A woman who always felt free
Used to hang upside down from a tree
In the dead of the night
A young boy took a fright
Now he’s scared to go out for a pee.
I see other perverse minds went the same place but here it is:
A woman who always felt free
Burned her bra when she turned twenty-three
Now at age sixty-eight
She is rueing her fate
As her boobies keep knocking each knee.
A woman who always felt free
Went to find herself in Gay Paree.
She hooked up with Pierre
Who pursued her with flaire
Now she’s hitched to Monsieur le Marquis.
A woman who always felt free
To advise young mothers-to-be
Had lived quite alone
With no babe of her own.
She advised them, “Spank often!” with glee.
A woman who always felt free
To keep bowls full of spiced potpourri
Finally came to confess
She was masking a mess
In the cat toilette: mountains of pee.
A fellow who always felt free
To describe body functions with glee
Couldn’t understand why
When he unzipped his fly
To share more, party-goers would flee.
A woman who always felt free
To drink plenty of vitamin C
Discovered one hitch:
Long drives were a bitch
‘Cause vitamin C makes you pee.
A fellow who always felt free
Said: I don’t care what anyone thinks
Climbed up the face of the Sphinx
Up he went on the broken anatomy
But a crumbling bit did him in precipitously
A woman who always felt free
Lived in the annals of History
Tired out the airplane built by da Vinci
Maybe the first to belong the club up a mile
Hence the reason for her inscrutable smile
A fellow who always felt free
Overdosed on pills of the purple variety
With all that Viagra
What resulted was like the Niagara
When he answered nature’s call to pee
A fellow who always felt free
Moved to another country
The confounded restrictions
compounded by constrictions
Made him return to the Land of Liberty!
A woman who always felt free
To sing any ditty off key
Now finds it great fun
To see co-workers run
when she warbles a plain do re mi.
I found this very difficult… but I didn’t want to give up… so here goes my mediocre take:
A fellow who always felt free
Had violated his ‘nuptials- pre’
Vows he didn’t uphold
His wife, he did cuckold
Now he’s buried in ‘marriage debris’!
A woman who always felt free
To nitpick and with all and some sundry
When blackballed and cast out
Into tears did break out
She hated it, once sent to Coventry.
A woman who always felt free
Loved to gossip with ALL her friends (THREE!)
So how do I know?
The third told me so
And relays all the gossip to me.
A woman who always felt free
!n her land with its guarantee
Of freedom of speech
Found it out of her reach
When she spoke of the faults she could see.
Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over, and you can find out who won Limerick of the Week here.
But a new limerick writing challenge has already begun. You can find my latest Limerick-Off here.
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