Archive for July, 2011
Sunday, July 31st, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A love-smitten guy was irate…
or
A love-smitten gal was irate…
Here’s mine:
Love-Smitten Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A love-smitten guy was irate
When his dream-gal denied being straight.
He just wasn’t buying
And swore she was lying
To fend off his quest for a date.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Dating Humor, Dating Poem, Love Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Contests, Dating Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 58 Comments »
Sunday, July 31st, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to David McCormick a/k/a AdamantYves who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow who loved a great thrill
Each day took a little blue pill.
Though he rose to the part
‘Twas too much for his heart,
And we can’t get his casket closed still.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ste Earp, Scott Crowder, Robert Basler, and Johanna Richmond. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Ste Earp:
A fellow who loved a good thrill
Attempted to ice skate uphill
Now with both ankles broken
Insurers have spoken
Confirming they won’t foot the bill.
Scott Crowder:
A fellow who loved a good thrill
Got naked to cook on his grill.
His ribs got well roasted,
His buns nicely toasted,
And his weenie has marks on it still.
Robert Basler:
A fellow who loved a good thrill
Went touring with Buffalo Bill.
He argued quite vocally
With young Annie Oakley.
You can find him up there on Boot Hill.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow who loved a good thrill
Put his faith in a little blue pill.
So it came as a blow
When he found out there’s no
Pharmaceutical stand-in for skill.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your clever limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David McCormick, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Basler, Scott Crowder, Ste Earp, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Thursday, July 28th, 2011
Looking Askance (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was looking askance
At a hoofer she spotted by chance.
He danced by the book.
So why the odd look?
The fellow was wearing no pants.
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
Tags: Appearance Humor, April Holidays, Attire Verse, Bad Behavior, Ballroom Dance, Clothing Humor, Dancing Humor, Fashion Verse, International Dance Day, Naked Limerick, Naughty Limericks, Nudity, Odd Holidays
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Dance Humor, Fashion Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
Sunday, July 24th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too. (You can even post it here on Google+ if you’d like to.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who loved a good thrill…
or
A woman who loved a good thrill…
Here’s mine:
Thrilling Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who loved a good thrill
Went skiing and took a bad spill.
His wife said “Enough!
I don’t care that you’re tough.
You’d better start writing your will.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Death Limerick, Injury Verse, Marriage Limerick, Outdoor Activity Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor, Sports Injury, Wills, Winter Sports, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor | 67 Comments »
Sunday, July 24th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to PHYLLIS STERLING SMITH a/k/a Granny Smith who wins Limerick of the Week for this very amusing verse:
A fellow I tried to ignore
Was the neighbor who moved in next door.
I found, to my sorrow,
That things he would borrow
Were stashed in his second-hand store.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bruce Niedt, RJ Clarken, Johanna Richmond, and Scott Crowder. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bruce Niedt:
A fellow I tried to ignore
Has become quite a pestering bore,
With his really tight pants,
And his red cape and dance —
I’m a bull, he’s a toreador!
RJ Clarken:
A woman I tried to ignore
Made a scene in an haute couture store.
She paired a pelt scarf
With faux feathers. (Oh barf!)
Quoth the raven, “Faux pas! Never more!”
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow I tried to ignore
Has followed me all through the store.
He thinks me a slacker
Declining his cracker;
Oh hell – pass the Spam de Wild Boar.
Scott Crowder:
A woman I tried to ignore,
Had spurned my advances before.
Then she offered romance,
And I jumped at the chance.
I’m a typical, sex craving boar.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, RJ Clarken, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 8 Comments »
Thursday, July 21st, 2011
Limerick Poseur
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A guy who was quite over-sexed
Stood posing, his muscles all flexed.
With eyes that undressed him
She stared, then assessed him:
“You’ve got to be kidding! Who’s next?”
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Embarrassing Experiences, Naughty Limericks, Oversexed, Physical Appearance, Posing Nude
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Light Verse, Limericks, Physical Appearance | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, July 20th, 2011
Nonplussed by Google-Plus?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Google-Plus blessing or curse?
It’s surely inspired some verse.
But here’s what I fear:
With the Plus option here,
My A.D.D.’s getting much worse.
Tags: ADD Humor, Attention Deficit Humor, Attention Span Humor, Brain Humor, Concentration Limerick, Distractions, Google, GooglePlus, Health Limerick, Mental Health, Social Media Poetry, Social Networking Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Google, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Media Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, July 19th, 2011
I took a break from limerick writing to write this pair of tanka:
When haiku won’t do,
when thoughts defy compression
and can’t be contained
in seventeen syllables,
give thanks to plus-sized tanka.
********
Some art inspires
tears, joy, admiration, love.
Some awakens thought.
And some makes one want to ask:
“Whatever were you thinking?”
********
Tags: Art Humor, Creativity, Modern Art, Poetry Forms, Tanka, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Tanka
Posted in Creativity Verse, Poetry Forms, Tanka, Writing & Publishing Humor | 7 Comments »
Sunday, July 17th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow I tried to ignore…
or
A woman I tried to ignore…
Here’s mine:
Rude Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow I tried to ignore
Was a rude, inconsiderate bore.
He’d sneeze in my face
And then cough just in case
All his germs failed to enter each pore.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Manners, Manners Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Rudeness Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 68 Comments »
Saturday, July 16th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to RJ CLARKEN who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:
A girl who was lovely and fair
Got a job as a family’s au pair.
She gave birth to a child
of the “Gov”, now reviled.
“He’ll be back” though, so please don’t despair.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Scott Crowder, Johanna Richmond, and Brenda Bryant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Scott Crowder:
A gal who was lovely and fair
Had strawberry scent in her hair,
And nice melons to boot,
A real passion fruit,
But now she is shaped like a pear.
Johanna Richmond:
A gal who was lovely and fair
Drew men who felt licensed to stare.
So she carried a sign
That read “My body’s MINE —
Show respect or risk hospital care!”
Brenda Byant a/k/a Rinkly Rimes:
A gal who was lovely and fair
Went around with her top-half all bare.
She was grabbed by police
Who said “This stunt must cease!
You really should grow longer hair.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Brenda Bryant, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, RJ Clarken, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 6 Comments »
Thursday, July 14th, 2011
A Limerick Ode To My Husband Mark Kane
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You’re in Facebook at last — Hip Hooray!
Till this morning, you kept saying “Nay!”
The reason is clear
Why you’re finally here:
I’ve joined Google-Plus as of today!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Computer Humor, Facebook Limerick, Google, GooglePlus, Husbands & Wives, Internet Verse, Technology Limerick
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Google, Internet Humor, Marriage Humor, Personal, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, July 12th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Google+
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Would-be early adopters are pining.
For Google-Plus entry they’re whining.
Invitees get to brag:
“I got in, while you lag.”
A great come-on of Google’s designing.
(You can find me on GooglePlus here. And you always find my Google+ link on my right sidebar a bit below my photo.)
Tags: Computer Verse, Early adopters, Google, GooglePlus, Social Marketing, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Google, Internet Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 8 Comments »
Sunday, July 10th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was lovely and fair…
Here’s mine:
Fair Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was lovely and fair
Had a spouse who’d gone heaven knows where.
She suspected foul play.
She’s the victim, I’d say:
An affair in his lair caused her scare.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Affair Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Cheating Spouse, Crime, Foul Play, Husband Wife Limerick, Infidelity Humor, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 56 Comments »
Sunday, July 10th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to Madeleine Sara Maddocks who wins Limerick of the Week for this very amusing verse:
A woman who always felt free
Used to hang upside down from a tree.
In the dead of the night
A young boy took a fright.
Now he’s scared to go out for a pee.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Ira Bloom, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Ira Bloom:
A fellow who always felt free
Told the government: “Just leave me be!
Tax and regulate? Bub,
Drown yourself in a tub!”
While the rich bastards chortled with glee.
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:
A woman who always felt free
Burned her bra when she turned twenty-three.
Now at age sixty-eight
She is rueing her fate,
As her boobies keep knocking each knee.
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A woman who always felt free
To sing any ditty off key
Now finds it great fun
To see co-workers run
when she warbles a plain do re mi.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Ira Bloom, Limerick Of The Week, Madeleine Sara Maddocks, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, July 5th, 2011
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve become hooked on writing acrostic limericks, largely due to prompts from Acrostics Only.
Married To Acrostic Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Asunder we never shall be,”
Promised Dean to his bride-to-be Bree.
At the altar his vow
Reassured her, but now
They’re divorced via legal decree.
Tags: Acrostics Poems, Divorce Limerick, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Wedding Humor, Wedding Vows Limerick
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 18 Comments »
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. (Just because it’s Independence Day Weekend, doesn’t mean I’m free to ignore my versifying duties.)
So here’s the deal: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who always felt free…
or
A woman who always felt free…
Here’s mine:
Freedom Loving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who always felt free
To do what he wanted with glee
Applied freedom one way,
Saying “Do what I say,”
To all, so his friend list was wee.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Freedom Humor, Friendship, Independence Day, July 4th, July Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Friendship Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 55 Comments »
Sunday, July 3rd, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. (This limerick challenge apparently got you all fired up because your submissions were unusually strong.) I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to ALTONIAN who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:
A fellow was playing with fire
When asked to milk cows in the byre.
He gave a great pull.
‘Twas no cow but a bull.
That’s how you end up in the mire.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Jane Shelton Hoffman, and Altonian. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Johanna Richmond: (Two Honorable Mentions for Johanna this week)
A woman was playing with fire
When she sought to rekindle desire;
Though she turned up the heat
Sex was strictly Dutch Treat;
Seems her man didn’t like to perspire.
Johanna Richmond:
Old Midas was playing with fire
By insulting the guy on the lyre;
When that guy is Apollo,
Best shut up and follow
Or donkey ears you shall acquire.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow was playing with fire
In transferring money by wire
In hundreds of G’s
To a bank in Belize,
Where he secretly hoped to retire.
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A fellow was playing with fire
And burned down the church in his shire.
When Robin Hood came,
He said, “I’m not to blame!
It must have been your friend, the friar!”
Altonian: (A double win for Altonian too)
A woman was playing with fire
When she thought she was all men’s desire.
She tried vamping one day
With a man who was gay
It was easy for him to deny her.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Altonian, David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 6 Comments »
