Fiery Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was playing with fire…
or
A woman was playing with fire…
Here’s mine:
Fiery Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was playing with fire
When he called his new boss a big liar.
But he still has his job
Cuz his boss — call him Bob —
Was caught lying and forced to retire.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Boss Humor, Dishonesty, Employment Humor, Fire, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
A fellow was playing with fire
In the back row of Saint Matthew’s choir.
As he drew Maisie closer
She said ‘No no no sir!
I can’t cope with too much desire!’
I loved this … limericks always make me smile! :o)
whew…he got saved in the nic of time eh? smiles.
a fellow was playing with fire
passing around his fleshly spire
caught with his pants down
all a-hugging the ground
to public office he could no longer aspire
A fellow was playing with fire
And to soothe his burning desire
He then drove up to Queens
To the girl of his dreams
The detective was wearing a wire
His wife made it quite clear
She’d heard from the mike in the rear
That he’d paid for sex
From the girl in the specs
As she clubbed him hard in the ear
The money that he thought to gain
Was gone and she made it quite plain
So she kicked him with force
As she spelled out divorce
Finally, she’d grown a brain
A fellow was playing with fire
When he fell for a gal playing a lyre
Ulysses was his name
The Sirens were his game
And they filled him with wanton desire
Hehe… I enjoyed your limerick, Madeleine–cute!
A fellow was playing with fire
And created an enormous bonfire
The inferno blazed
Making the fire chief so crazed
He bought his ex-wife a sapphire!
Fire Bug
A fellow was playing with fire
When attempting to comment on his wife’s attire
For she looked really fat
But he couldn’t say that
So he decided to be a little white liar
A woman was playing with fire:
She confronted her boss, a huge liar.
“Bob, I’ve asked for the raise
I deserve (please amaze
Me!), or else let’s just say I’m for hire.
The bank statements show you have money,
And your pricey new wife? She’s a honey…”
Bob leaned in: “Jen, you’re fired;
I’ll make sure you’re not hired!”
That’s when Jen from her purse pulled her gun – eee.
Bob backed off: “Jen, calm down, I was playing!
So just tell me you’ll really be staying?”
She put one in his lamp,
He ducked low (pants now damp).
“You big liar, I’m sick of your braying!”
Jen strode out, tossing over her shoulder,
“I won’t stay one more day! Hope you’ve told her
About Rae, or I might;
So you’d best treat me right.
Each of us, fools, believed what you’d sold her…”
A fellow was playing with fire
When he said “You’re my heart’s desire!”
To a miss unreceptive
Who said “You’re deceptive
and you’ve long been a serial liar!”
A fellow was playing with fire
At night with a bloated old tire.
He first lit a match,
But paused then to scratch ~
The ramifications were dire.
A woman was playing with fire
When she didn’t take care of her dryer
The lint trap was loaded
The dryer exploded
Now she wears only dripping attire…
A woman was playing with fire;
She sat on his lap and said, “Sire,
I know I’ve been brazen:
Rise to the occasion!”
He did, thankful she wasn’t shyer.
A woman was playing with fire ~
She knighted a lusty young squire,
Who climbed to her bower
And there in the tower,
Encouraged, he took her much higher.
A fellow was playing with fire.
He absently thought to inquire,
Dear, have you gained weight?
~ The slam of the plate
Meant silence was all she’d require.
A fellow was playing with fire,
His chief sent him 20 floors higher:
“My hero, you’re here!
Can I buy you a beer?”
They escaped via tire on a wire.
A woman was playing with fire,
Allowing a stranger to ply ‘er
With way too much liquor.
Yep, far gone, her “picker” –
Much later they’d find and untie her.
A fellow was playing with fire
As, dancing, he spun on a wire;
Lost his balance and fell.
The clowns shrugged: “Oh, well;
It’s a circus here! Who’s the new hire?”
A fellow was playing with fire;
He slowly began to perspire
At the thought of extorting
More blow. He’d been snorting
Since daybreak, and crawled in the dryer
Where, witless, his buddy pressed On –
The two of them used up, far gone.
He tumbled and spun
‘Til the panel read Done.
Bleary-eyed, he emerged, dry at dawn.
A fellow was playing with fire
As he sat in the midst of the choir
He lit up their robes
And they jumped to their toes
As their voices got higher and higher
A fellow was playing with fire
by giving in to his desire
He stripped off his drawers
while in the outdoors
and streaked in pale wrinkled attire.
A fellow liked playing with fire
aroused a fire-fighter’s ire:
he got out his hose
as the pressure rose
turned arsonist into a flier.
A woman was playing with fire
by raising her young husband’s ire
She’d flirt with a guy
who was just stopping by
The whole thing’s become quite a mire.
(This limerick is dedicated to August Strindberg who wrote Playing With Fire, one of my favorite plays of his).
Was Bob a politician, by any chance?
A fellow was playing with fire,
and displaying a burning desire,
to keep bringin’ the heat,
for the boss of E Street.
Now he plays for the Boss a bit higher.
A fellow was playing with fire,
he hoped a romance would transpire.
But his interest said “No!”
“I won’t go there, Frodo.”
Sam wishes he’d stayed in the Shire.
A woman was playing with fire
When driving with threadbare old tires
Her car made a quick swerve
And she showed some great verve
She avoided a dunk in the mire
A fellow was playing with fire
Making love in the shade of a briar.
Yes, his problem was thorny:
Pricks did not make her horny—
But how else could he hide his spare tire?
A fellow was playing with fire
When he riled his wife’s ire
Saying she was tubby but cute
And he sure liked her big boot….
Now we’re building his funeral pyre.
A fellow was playing with fire
by climbing a ladder much higher
he reached for the side
which caused both feet to slide
now his cast is held up by a wire
A fellow was playing with fire
He fumbled as flames went higher
He used fraud to cloak
The blaze and the smoke
And now he’s known as a liar
A fellow was playing with fire
When he irked this lady’s ire.
As he passionately kissed her hand
By the French Riviera bandstand
To declare “It’s only your money that I desire” !
This was fun…there’s a lot of great responses :-D
A fellow was playing with fire
he put it to his lips to get higher
the burn seared his nose
then engulfed all his clothes
now he’s a naked town crier.
A fellow was playing with fire
But had eyes on the gal in skimpy attire
Missed the beat
Flamed the seat
Now blaming on the faulty wire
A fellow was playing with fire
Stoking the passion of desire
The lesson he learned
When he did get burned
Never play with organ of a choir
Thanks everyone for your kind words and fun limericks. And please keep them coming … the limericks, I mean. :)
A woman was playing with fire
When she asked dear Jesus why are
You not healing here
Though we are in Tyre
And our tribes do not conspire
A fellow was playing with fire
When he thought that he would try ‘er
Though he was a gent
His money she spent
And now he’ll never retire
A somewhat feeble one this time…
A fellow was playing with fire
When he called his wife a liar.
She sulked, shouted, saw red,
Banned him from the marital bed,
Making him realise the extent of her ire.
A fellow was playing with fire
(to think of it made him perspire);
he’d started to see
a young man called Lee
who liked to wear ladies’ attire.
A fellow was playing with fire
Seeing a woman his heart most admired
They made love many weeks
Busted nut and his shrink—
Until his insurance expired
A fellow was playing with fire
As he sat and plucked at his lyre
When Rome burned to the ground
Nero cried ‘I’ll be bound -as an
arsonist I’m quite a trier’
A woman was playing with fire
When she tried to climb up even higher
A foot-slip by Blanche caused a big avalanche
That’s when she took off on a ‘flier’
Thank you. This made my Monday, so here is mine:
A woman was playing with fire
she took him on a whim, her desire.
She did not thought-
he’d cut their affair short
and now she’s alone with her ire.
This is my first real attempt at a limerick. Be gentle with me.
TOO HOT
by Mike Patrick
A woman was playing with fire.
She kept her boyfriend hot by the hour,
until he went wild,
and now she’s with child.
She’s facing an outlook so dire.
OOPS
by Mike Patrick
A fellow was playing with fire
while camping out in the brier.
The wind started to blow
and what do you know?
His tent’s turned into a pyre.
six lines, well done.
:)
A fellow was playing with fire
Insulting the guy on the lyre;
When that guy is Apollo,
Best shut up and follow
Or donkey ears you shall acquire.
A fellow was playing with fire
Burnt his home, raising much ire
So careless and clumsy
Now homeless and lonely
Poor old sap, his case, so dire
L. 06/27/11 2039
I hope I am improving :) let me know and thank you for the visit :)
A fellow was playing with fire
Could fall into circumstances dire
He risked his life
Cheating on his wife
And knew he was treading tightwire.
A fellow was playing with fire
In transferring money by wire
In hundreds of G’s
To a bank in Belize,
Where he secretly hoped to retire.
Fun limericks, everyone. Please keep them coming. The week is young. :)
A fellow was playing with fire
When he hitched up his kilt a bit higher
As he twirled an’ he whirled
His kilt got (oops!) unfurled
Setting lasses afire with desire!
A fellow was playing with fire
When asked to milk cows in the byre
He gave a great pull
’twas no cow but a bull
That’s how you end up in the mire
A woman was playing with fire
when she thought she was all men’s desire
She tried vamping one day
with a man who was gay
It was easy for him to deny her
A woman was playing with fire
Thinking only she could pique men’s desire
Silly girl, doesn’t she see?
They’ll chase you, them and me…
From their game they never retire!
I hear that there’s quite a commotion
In nursing homes from ocean to ocean
After lights-out, in the gloom
They tip-toe from room to room.
Fraternization is the homes’ best promotion!
So, don’t flatter yourself, girl
If some guy wants give you a whirl
It’s not you, it’s his being
It lasts longer than seeing
Let it be what it is–spin and twirl!
A fellow was playing with fire.
Carefree and a real blue sky-er,
He’d informed on the Mob
So was given the job
Of – now gloomier -wearing a wire.
A fellow was playing with fire;
His wife called him out as a liar.
He’d floozied and damed,
Then the nine kids he’d named
Came to visit in matching attire.
A fellow was playing with fire,
pyrotechnics his rock band required.
But he lit the wrong fuse,
and it caught on his shoes –
now he’s in a celestial choir.
A woman was playing with fire
When she sought to rekindle desire;
Though she turned up the heat
Sex was strictly dutch treat;
Seems her man didn’t like to perspire.
A fellow was playing with fire
to which in turn did he have an inspire
but as the building was burnt
and he thought about what he had learnt
inside never build a viking funeral pyre
Grizzly belated one from me :O)
A woman was playing with fire
When her foot was then caught in a tyre
She screamed for some help
Though none heard her yelp
As her body became flame and then pyre
A fellow was playing with fire,
Bought the dragon he’d wished to acquire.
He named his pet “Flame”
And thought she was tame
‘Til her breath burned his building entire.
Some fellows are playing with fire
Not allowing the debt ceiling higher:
Their plan? Screw Obama,
Inflict widespread trauma —
You don’t believe me? Ask the crier.
Another masterful limerick! Wonderful
A woman was playing with fire
(of Tiddleywinks, she would soon tire)
Sadly, she slipped
the matches, they flipped
A hairbrush is no longer required.
haha That was fun.
Johanna- that was great!!
Thanks, Scott:)
A fellow was playing with fire
When he called his old lady a liar,
Cause hell hath no fury
Like a wife judge and jury;
Appeal options? Aint no court higher.
Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over, and you can find out who won here: Limerick of the Week 16.
But you can still have lots of limerick fun with a new Limerick-Off challenge here.