Generous Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who could never say “no”…
or
A gal who could never say “no”…
Here’s mine:
Generous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who could never say “no”
Was warned by his wife to go slow.
“Just what are you thinking?
Our bank account’s shrinking.
Stop giving away all our dough.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Donations Humor, Generosity Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A gal who could never say no
was popular, wouldn’t you know?
Messers Richard and Oscar
sought a new plot, sir
so around her they wrote a whole show.
(technically not true but what the hell)
A man who could never say no
had no safe place he could go
when peddlers stopped by
he was convinced to try
everything the peddler would show.
A girl who just couldn’t say no
Said ‘What me? I just go with the flow.
If he’s got what it takes
I don’t put on the brakes,
And I’m thinking that I might turn pro.’
A girl who just couldn’t say no
Said ‘ Come on! Don’t be shy, Romeo!’
She was eager to please
Even on a trapeze!
Which was great for the folk down below!
*
A gal who could never say no
quite often embarrassed her beau.
Then, scoffed as a cuckold
and his mind unbuckled,
he delivered a murderous blow.
Good one Madeleine, brought a smile to my face.
Wishing you a relaxing week, G :<)
A man who could never say ‘No’,
Wanted to buy a swanky Peugeot
But filled with all rancor
His wife bought his Banker
Who placed all his dough as escrow.
A gal who could never say ‘No’
Was spotted in Monaco’s casino
Playing Blackjack or poker
No one could stop ‘er
From Pachinko, Bingo or Keno.
Hey Santa, Can’t Ya?
A gal who could never say “no”
Thought her man was a bit of a ho
Ho ho: asked her Santa,
Say, Mae, did you plan ta
Rub down half the deer? I must go!
As Nick disappeared into the sky,
Mae grabbed four large towels, gave a sigh.
The elves were all clam’ring
For dinner, and hamm’ring;
She’d get to them all ~ by and by.
Mae thought of her days as a dancer
(Exotic): oh, she’d been a prancer!
Before they were married,
She, free, not so harried,
Thought being Nick’s vixen the answer.
Who knew that the freezing North Pole
Would slowly win out, take its toll.
She longed for Nick’s d*ck,
Would perform ev’ry trick ~
Reigniting their sex life her goal.
Mae plotted and planned, and that night
When Old Nick returned, set things right.
Elves tucked in, deer were fed,
She led Santa to bed ~
Where they refound their mut’l delight.
A gal who could never say ‘no’
Always had men on the go
When her room mate asked ‘Why?’
She replied, ‘I’d just die
If this gift of mine came with no beau.’
unbeatable humor.
A man who could never say “no”
Wanted to stage a one-man show.
Asked by the director: “Can you sing?”
He lied: “Why, sure thing!”
Sang a note – and got the ol’ heave-ho.
and
A gal who could never say “no”
Was upset at being called a “ho”.
Said she sadly: “It’s not nice
To be asked my price
By all my potential beaux.”
A girl who could never say no
married ten at a time, doncher know.
Polyandry her crime,
she had to do time.
It was worth it, she loved ’em all so.
A gal who could never say no
Married Henry David Thoreau
When the outgoing blond
Saw sedate Walden Pond
She said, “Hank, I thought you had dough!”
Slight change to the first one:
A man who could never say “no”
Wanted to stage a one-man show.
Asked by the director: “Can you sing?”
He coolly lied, “Why, sure thing!”
One note, tho’ – and he got the ol’ heave-ho.
A man who could never say “no”
Was asked to put on a show
He pulled down his pants
Did a dance
Shaking his behind to and fro
A man who could never say “no”
Went to a massage parlor, don’t ya know
They laid him on his back
Commenced to give him a whack
And when he left his face was all aglow.
Haha this is awesome! You are the master of limericks
A gal who could never say “no”
decided her man had to go;
the ‘three times a night’
he claimed was his right
now left her with no after-glow.
A man who could never say no,
to pork chops and raw cookie dough,
made me whisper “Oh, Lord,”
when he wobbled on board,
“I hope he don’t sit in my row.”
Funny. I enjoyed reading all the responses too.
A man who could never say “no”
Bought some toilets at ten grand a throw
And some ships at a billion
An air force (five trillion)
It’s your tax money; thought you should know.
A man who could never say no
To the urges that came from below
Was finally defeated,
When thousands retweeted
His self-composed, solo tableau.
i tried and tried, but the muse was off elsewhere
He’s generous, anyway….
A girl who could never say no
Went out with every guy named Joe
She had a bad rep
But then she caught strep
And that girl was no longer a ho.
A man who could never say no
Frenetically dashed to and fro;
With a mistress and wife
He had double the strife
Kissing two butts – a tough row to hoe.
Mad, thanks for the help untangling my last line! Now I realize it reads better without the semicolon at the end of the fourth line too but ehh–not worth another delete!
Note from Mad Kane: Johanna, you’re very welcome! (I deleted that semicolon for you.)
Oh dear! That man could be me~!
Thanks so much everyone for your enthusiasm and your fun limericks! And please keep those limericks coming!
Thank you again, Mad — this time for the semicolonectomy:)
A man who could never say no
didn’t know where he could go
after spending his money
on a beautiful honey
he heard that his dear wife did know
A gal who could never say no
Grew bored with her one woman show . . .
Her mate found her in bed
In a T-shirt that read:
“No more favors without quid pro quo!”
Ugh, nix the “a” in line 2 — sorry, it’s been a real do-over day.
Note from Mad Kane: Done.
very funny, Johanna! You wouldn’t know where she bought that shirt do you? And does it come in men’s sizes?
A gal who could never say, “no”
Met a guy who could never say, “whoa”
She went faster and faster
– He couldn’t outlast her
She looked down and cried, “Aw, Joe!”
Cleverness abounds from all posts! Always fun reads, here, Mad. Thanks for your wit, humor and for the weekly LIMERICK OFFs!
A man who could never say no
Lost his job as a cop- What a blow!
Yet the war on drugs said
“Just say NO!” but instead
His affirmative action brought woe
A man who could never say no
Is a fool as we all do know.
He spends his life dizzy
From being so busy
And will most likely end on skid row.
A man who could never say no
Does whatever you ask him and so,
Go borrow his car
And his big fat cigar
Then go back and ask him fo’ mo’!
A man who could never say no
Will call you and tell you his woe.
So listen a while
But then, with a smile,
Just ask him to give you his dough!
A gal who could never say no,
is a gal on a fantasy show,
or a make believe queen,
in a skin magazine.
I learned that a long time ago
A man who could never say “no”
Let his wife get herself a little beau
The reason of course
Was so he could file for divorce
Without losing any of his dough
A gal who could never say no,
Soon resembled a large mound of dough.
So much did she eat,
She lost track of her feet
And now rolls to where e’er she need go!
A man who could never say no,
spent his money on hookers and blow.
He claimed he was winning
while his prospects were dimming,
oh Charlie, we all told you so.
Please keep your fun limericks coming. Thanks very much!
A man who could never say no
To the face of a frolicking doe
Lost his wife and his kids
For some fun in the skids
That’s until he runs out of dough!
Scott– just saw your comment. You could probably get one of those T-shirts made up at cafepress:)
A man who could never say “no”
Saw his income become an outflow.
He was given to givin’ ~
No Bill Gates, but driven;
His WIFE whined, “Where does it all go?!”
He smiled, “Hon, you know I’m a pastor,
And God will provide if disaster
Should strike.” She retorted,
“What drug have you snorted?”
(He couldn’t get anything past her.)
Thanks again to all of you for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is now over and you can find out who won Limerick of the Week here.
But no need to feel disappointed if you didn’t win, cuz a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Fiery Limerick