A Limerick With Clout (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was proud of his clout…

or

A gal who was proud of her clout…

Here’s mine:

A Limerick With Clout
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was proud of his clout
And had nary a hint of self-doubt
Became cocky and lewd
And carelessly crude.
As for power, he now has a drought.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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61 Responses to “A Limerick With Clout (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Matty says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    entered a wrestling bout
    there was nary a win
    as he lost by a pin
    which caused him to pucker and pout

  2. Matty says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    had looks that she often did tout
    despite a big sinner
    her smile was a winner
    a ticket to heaven, no doubt

  3. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Said ‘My rules nobody must flout!’
    But I laid him low
    When I trod on his toe!
    I knew that he suffered from gout!

  4. Pat Hatt says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Had the nerve to build a moat
    Cutting himself off
    Ruling his loft
    His only disciple a goat

  5. hansi says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Started to wonder what life was about
    He started to wishing
    Thought it best to go fishing
    And spent the weekend catching prize rainbow trout.

  6. scott says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout,
    when fondled would shudder and shout.
    And she learned by and by,
    it is spelled with an I.
    The O and the U are left out.

  7. shammi says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Did challenge Mohd Ali to a quick bout;
    Alas for him, Cassius Clay
    (As he was known in his day)
    With one punch knocked him clean out.

  8. Using both introductions,
    They would walk through their district and shout. Please do not pout. Do not worry, you have no food , so you will not have a bout , like me , and get the gout. I have no doubt.

  9. A man who was proud of his clout
    Had a shower that needed some grout
    The powerful bastard
    Got his whole bathroom plastered
    By taking the sleaziest route

  10. Linkmeister says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    had never exhibited self-doubt
    Till he was hit with reality
    Said he “She done left me!”
    And henceforth he did nothing but pout.

  11. really enjoy to read them…but i seem to have a limerick writers block…smiles

  12. Marla says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Didn’t care who or what he sold out
    Said, “it’s all just a game
    One that buys me some fame
    From the timid, the less than and devout.”

    He’s done well for a college drop out
    Of that there is no doubt
    But it’s the same old same
    Another man without shame
    Looking for the next big pay out.

    He doesn’t know what life’s about
    Laughs with every punch and shout
    How incredibly lame
    To make others the blame
    For his own black soul cop out.

  13. brian says:

    a man who was proud of his clout
    was soon to be in for a rout
    he met a smart filly
    who made him look silly
    and now all he does is pout…

    see mine just get worse…lol

  14. Bodhirose says:

    Good one, Madeleine! You are so good. xoxo

    A man who was proud of his clout

    Ruled his life with increasing loud shouts

    His resonance pealed

    With such unyielding wield

    He came to be known as a lout

  15. Don Knutson says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Was considered by most a lout
    He blustered to and fro
    Made messes from the word go
    And answered his critics with a pout

  16. J Sardo says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Paid cash so the law he could flout
    But his reckless demeanor
    Found a cop who was meaner
    And threatened a clout to his snout.

  17. Jesse Levy says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    Was a beauty – could knock your eye out
    She knew what she had
    But was always real bad
    and caused lots of guys to shout.

  18. Geraldine says:

    All of these are so clever! I wouldn’t know where to begin. I will look forward to your “contemplate” haiku Madelaine, if you decide to use this as a prompt. I think that’s a great idea.

    Happy Week and Hugs, G

  19. A man who was proud of his clout
    And loved to holler and shout
    Drew a bow one too many
    And lost his last penny
    So now touts the grace of a lout.

  20. Steve Bumgarner says:

    A man who was proud of his clout,
    Thought he’d pose with his Weiner quite stout
    Before a web cam.
    Tweeted pic/porno slam.
    Wife Huma vows he’ll go without!!!

  21. Pat Cegan says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    Felt she was hot stuff, there’s no doubt
    She thought what she did went unseen
    But it got told at the local canteen
    Gales of laughter were heard throughout!

  22. Mama Zen says:

    This immediately made me think of Wiener!

  23. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Will He Plead the Ninth?

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    Unlike some who’d showboat or shout,
    Firmly made it her mission
    To inspire their submission
    In the courtroom ~ a winner, no doubt…

    Then one day she met bland, ruthless Joe,
    What a charmer: most judges he’d snow
    With his grin and his patter.
    His logic? no matter;
    She watched him put on a good show

    ‘Til they crossed in the hallway one day.
    “Grace,” he smirked, “Have I got in your way?
    “We all want to win,
    “So you’d better begin
    “To enjoy it: and let me convey

    “My best wishes on ending your reign.
    “But to mitigate some of your pain,
    “May I take you to dinner?
    “You WERE once a winner
    “And I just split up with Elaine…”

    Grace smiled as she thrust in the knife.
    “Joe, I know that Marie was your wife,
    “But I’m dating her now.
    “What a spitfire! So how
    “Did she stand you so long? Get a life!”

    Joe glared back as he strode down the hall.
    O’er proceedings, a sizeable pall
    Tipped the balance of power
    Back to Grace from that hour…
    And at supper that night, she told all

    To the woman she’d offered her heart.
    Marie mused, “You know, Joe’s not that smart.
    “He’s so blind! Failed to see
    “Your attraction for me ~
    “Ego blocked what he saw from the start.”

    They held hands, spoke of yearnings and hope;
    Shared their challenges, ways they would cope
    With the Joes each had met.
    Grace proposed a small bet:
    Would Joe mope? (He wore taupe.) Answer: nope! :)

  24. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Steve, your guy is a real wein-ner! :^D

  25. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Scott, I hardly know what to say…!!! Ahem…my jaw dropped when I “got it.” Congrats ~ I think! ;^D

  26. Steve Vitoff says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Had ordered a pitcher of stout
    Because of his status
    Assumed it was gratis
    The bartender had him thrown out

  27. Dr. Goose says:

    A guy who was proud of his clout
    In nightclubs would always hang out,
    And was seen with who’s whom
    In the VIP room,
    ‘Til his wife called and had him thrown out.

  28. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Steve, what a great one! My husband enjoys Obsidian stout especially, though we’ve paid for his… :)

  29. sideview says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    At boxing lost nary a bout.
    He once won the gold
    But that now that he’s old
    Has grown slow and dreadfully stout

  30. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these limericks. Thanks, and please keep them coming!

  31. Shammi says:

    damn, I think this makes it sound slightly better (pls delete the prev limerick – dont mean to spam your page!)

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Thought he needed to stand out;
    He giggled and preened,
    And boasted and queened –
    But ev’ryone thought he’d at last come out.

  32. Shammi says:

    And yet another:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    When ignored, was inclined to pout.
    At every party she’d complain,
    Drinking far too much champagne –
    Until, irritated, they threw her out.

    :)

  33. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Among deli’s left no one to doubt
    Whether t’was the cheesecake? Pastrami?
    Pickles? Latkes? Salami?
    No! They lined up for miles for the ‘kraut!

  34. earlybird says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    was often laid low by the gout.
    But he still drank his port
    (much, much more than he ought)
    thus putting his ‘clout’ in some doubt.

  35. Anya Padyam says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    He believed was due to his snout
    He walked around in pomp
    Expecting an easy romp,
    But life trounced him to a rout.

  36. Patrick says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    was seen often gadding about.
    She walks her dear pet
    and goes to the Met
    and lunches on wieners and kraut.

    A man who was proud of his clout
    was often the first one to shout:
    “Hey, bar keep, a beer!
    And bring it right here.
    Or you’ll learn what my clout’s all about.”

  37. Andy says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Remarked that day in and day out
    ‘Twas all he could do
    His job to pursue
    While patrons, his greatness did tout

  38. Victoria says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Thought that tweeting his assets, no doubt,
    Would give such a thrill
    But the outcry is shrill
    Is it time for the creep to log out?

  39. A man who was proud of his clout
    Never ran out of things he might tout
    He self-aggrandized,
    Stopping just short of lies
    Was there ever a beastlier lout?

  40. amanda moore says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Had been living a lie there’s no doubt
    His importance he thought
    Was not purchased, not bought
    He was born with it, Boy! What a lout!

  41. Kay Salady says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    Lifted high her very large snout
    She said with a grin as she tilted her chin
    “Barbra Streisand, eat your heart out!”

  42. madkane says:

    These are fun everyone! Please keep them coming!

  43. scott says:

    A man who was proud of his clout,
    had gathered reporters about.
    Then he made a big speech,
    and took his game to South Beach.
    But still has no titles to flout.

  44. A man who was proud of his clout,
    for joking and goofing about,
    picked up the banjo,
    used verbal ammo,
    and let his fun singing voice out.

    Steve Martin Limerick

  45. Madeleine says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Had a propensity always to shout
    Unable to whisper
    He deafened his sister
    Now his clout has been mellowed with stout.

  46. Anu says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    unfortunately was rarely seen about
    he conducted his work so subtle and slow
    that it wasn’t much of a show
    So his real worthiness was in much doubt

  47. Anu says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    was also incredibly stout
    said she with a smile
    I can really go the mile
    coz I literally throw my weight about

  48. Shammi says:

    Fourth one:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Was honestly a bit of a lout.
    He would bully and tease
    Imagining he was the bee’s knees –
    But socially he was a washout.

  49. A man who was proud of his clout,
    Any rule, he disliked, he did flout,
    But he was seen,
    with a girl, fifteen,
    It’ll be seven years ’til he’s out!

  50. Bruce Niedt says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    brought a bat to the plate, big and stout.
    Quite a menacing guy,
    when the pitcher let fly –
    but whaddya know, he struck out!

  51. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. And please keep them coming!

  52. Johanna Richmond says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    And his very large Romanesque snout,
    Though endowed in the head,
    Was less cocky in bed
    Where his anthony fast petered out.

  53. Meredith McMinn says:

    A Man who was proud of his clout
    Didn’t realize he was such a lout
    When he strutted his stuff,
    Tweeting pix in the buff,
    Fellow Congressmen told him: “get out!”

  54. Meredith McMinn says:

    (Should have read the others before writing my previous post. Here’s another tack)

    A Man who was proud of his clout
    Went a-hiking Alaska’s Redoubt
    “Warnings ain’t meant for me.
    I know Miss Sara P.”
    The volcano (no fan) spat him out!

  55. Granny Smith says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    Would endlessly sputter and spout
    His views with elation,
    Each firm declaration
    On things he knew nothing about.

  56. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    Once regretted her date with a lout.
    They went a first round,
    Soon he lay on the ground:
    ‘Bout her prowess, was left in no doubt.

  57. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man who was proud of his clout,
    New “achievements” each day he would tout:
    Voters fin’ly grew bored
    Of his “Praise me, oh Lord!”
    And rebelled, shouting “Toss the bum out!”

  58. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man who was proud of his clout,
    Bad tempered and given to shout,
    Through abuse of his power
    Tore a new one each hour:
    Wil[Won’t!]helm’s a big sauer Kraut.

  59. Johanna Richmond says:

    A man who was proud of his clout
    And his rather large Romanesque snout
    Was less cocky in bed
    Despite said superb head:
    It seemed swagger was all he could spout.

  60. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal who was proud of her clout
    Spoke her mind and was not round about;
    Employees kept quiet;
    Her kids chose to riot;
    Her husband just prayed for a drought.

  61. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over and the winners list is here.

    But you can still have fun with limericks and compete for Limerick of the week at my spanking new Limerick-Off posted here: Generous Limerick — Limerick-Off Monday.