Gourmet Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine…
or
A woman who loved fine cuisine…
Here’s mine:
Gourmet Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Thought non-gourmet dining obscene.
But he could not afford
The food he adored,
Which explains why that guy was so lean.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Dining Humor, Eating Limerick, Food Verse, Gourmet Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
Consumed a dodgy sardine.
This gastric abuse
Curdled his juice,
Confining him to the latrine.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
wouldn’t eat in the office canteen.
The food tasted like shit
and made the chap spit
“Your cooking is really obscene.”
A lady who loved haute cuisine
refused to use margarine.
To reduce her cholesteriol
she cooked with pure vitrol
and died saying merde au régime.
A lady who loved fine cuisine
– her name being Josephine –
played on the virginals
while stirring her olive oil.
To her it was simply routine.
oops! cholesterol!
A woman who loved fine cuisine,
Was also incredibly mean;
She said “I’ll eat mice,
If I get them half price,
Just so long as I know where they’ve been.”
in a way i like your guy..he sticks to his opinion…smiles
with me it’s the other way round…i’m quite satisfied with a bowl of oat flakes and don’t need necessarily lobster for breakfast…i like lobster though…smiles
Ahh…so that’s what it takes to stay lean! I like it Madelaine. Nice one.
Happy Sunday dear!
Take A Happy Break
My Real Life Reviews
Hi Madeleine–I enjoyed your cute limerick today and decided to join in again:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Even ate gourmet jelly beans
With essence of truffle and caviar
But his favorite by far, came out of a jar
Sicilian-style pasta with sardines
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Thought her figure would never be seen.
So she tried a Big Mac
And has never looked back
So that now she thinks fries are most keen!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Cooked a dinner for Great Britain’s Queen
It turned out her nibs
Hated barbecued ribs
So he blamed it on Ms. Paula Deen
A woman who loved fine cuisine
had only one navy bean
When the bean was ingested
She couldn’t digest it
and she made a noise quite obscene.
I have been meaning to try this for quite awhile! Love your fun twist in the last line!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Confronted his office canteen
This lunch is a farce
As low as witch grass
And don’t soothe me with free caffeine
Like yours , Mad. Here’s my shot:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Had a spread in a big magazine
But the shoot turned out lewd
‘Cause he cooked in the nude
Some utensils are best left unseen!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Aspired to be seen as lean.
So he rode on his bike
And went for a hike
With champagne in his Boy Scout canteen.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
(So he claimed and was prone to preen).
Why should it embarrass
When posted to Paris
And exposed to the best, he turned green?
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Spoke too much, always causing a scene
Gruyere ma belle, not brie
The best cheese for me
Then I won’t sound so mean,
I tried MBK :)
This was my very first try at a limerick.
Enjoy the potluck!
on promises
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Would eat nothing that was colored green.
A vegan he wasn’t
A salad he wouldn’t….
Of well-dressed dead animals he was dean.
This is a fun one and I love the prompt. Got to work on this.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
read about it in a fine food magazine.
A little of this,
and a little of that,
and soon he passed time in the latrine.
I’m really enjoying these! Please keep them coming and cross-post them on my Facebook post if you’re active on Facebook. Thanks!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
was, even so, getting quite mean.
He was overheard saying
he objected to paying
as the prices were frankly obscene.
lol! i must remember to try this one
A man who loved fine cuisine
was favorably inclined toward poutine
So he moved to Quebec
In search of that dreck
And his life turned entirely serene!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
in all the best bistros was seen.
Of cost he’d not care,
he so savored the fare,
and always left his plate picked clean.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Couldn’t eat it because he’d get really mean
He’d go on a spree
Causing others to flee
Leaving everything unclean
Everytime he saw a plate
He’d eat the cuisine at an alarming rate
Once the last bit was through
He’d snap and start robbing two by two
Creating such hate
He ended up in a bank
With enough loot in hand to fill a tank
As he was about to leave
He started to grieve
Knowing for this he’d walk the plank
The affects of the cuisine were wearing thin
So he dove in the nearest garbage bin
Eating what leftovers he could grab
Then hailing the nearest cab
No longer caring about his newest sin
With the law hot on his trail
He jumped on the monorail
Traveling far and wide
Looking for a place to hide
Where cuisine would come down like hail
He ended up in a land so new
It’s only been heard of by a few
After a lengthy search
He found no cuisine from any perch
But was trapped in the place reminiscent of timbukto
A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
broke from his daily routine.
Instead of French truffles,
he pigged out on Ruffles,
that came from a vending machine.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
created a dangerous scene
his filet was undone
so he pulled out a gun
and shot up the ice cream machine
A woman who loved fine cuisine
feasted like she was a queen
consumed this and that
until she was fat
her weight is now grossly obscene
A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
Liked hot bistros and making the scene
But on weekdays, less busy,
He’d go into a tizzy!
And often kill an entire tureen.
Soups and stews were his passion
And always in fashion.
Chefs, prideful of the art,
Even more than the tart,
Kept soup’s popularity from crashin’.
Mullagatawney and pea
Mushroom ‘n’ cheddar broc’li
Chicken noodle, beef rice
All of them nice
But his favorite was minestrone
But it’s spinach for me
And it’ll always be
With crab or chicken
And sour cream to thicken
No happier can I be!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
when tipping was stingy and mean.
“My custom is still
Two percent of the bill.”
The spit in his soup went unseen.
A woman who loved cuisine,
was hot for the gourmet scene.
She ruffled through truffles,
and trifled with mussels,
yet her husband preferred pork and beans.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Used recipes from a chef’s magazine.
To improve on the taste
He used spices to baste
And a sauce he called beef almondine.
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Would not use a vending machine
At a Snickers she’d scoff
M&M’s she’d brush off
And with Twix bars would never be seen
Food deprivation can play havoc with our mood!
A woman who loved fine cuisine,
Gave up struggling to keep herself lean.
She finally said,
“I’ll be thin when I’m dead…
I’d much rather be chubby than mean”!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Ate at meals, and all times in between.
He soon grew so stout
That his wife kicked him out,
‘Cause she’d promised “in good times and lean”!
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Had a boyfriend whose taste was obscene
His palate he’d murder
With beans and frankfurter
While his supper made HER face turn green.
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Was a soup lover since seventeen
When they served two battalions
Consommé laced with scallions
She leapt right into the tureen
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Would share neither carb nor protein
Why be such a pain?
She’d simply explain:
“I’m just regressing toward the mean”
OOPS – USED ‘LOVE’ 2X – LET ME AMEND THE ABOVE PLEASE
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Was a soup connoisseur since nineteen
When they served two battalions
Consommé laced with scallions
She leapt right into the tureen
Haha you are just brilliant. I always smile visiting your page
Thanks so much everyone for your enthusiasm and your fun limericks. Please keep those limericks coming!
A woman who loved fine cousine
decided to try not to be mean
she gave vegan a try
but could no longer deny
distaste of curd from a bean
A woman who loved fine cousine
began writing of what she had seen
tasting and telling
praising and yelping
the ever changing restaurant scene
A man who loved fine cousine
also loved the fine places he’d been (s)
He travelled high and low
all over the gold coast
pic nic’ing at mansions on their green
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Always cleaned his teeth with fluorine,
And every girl that he fed
Spent the night in his bed.
His secret? “Good oral hygiene”.
hahahaha! @all of you, esp Vivienne Blake’s second. And Madeleine yours of course. Great thread
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Thought barbecues rather obsence
When approached by an Aussie
In a polka-dot cozzie
He quickly escaped from the scene
Hee hee. This is pretty cute!!
I like both casual and fine cuisine… perhaps that’s why I’m NOT lean. Hehe. :)
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
was upset that his wife was too lean
since he was the cook
her oh-so-svelte look
made it seem that his skills weren’t so keen.
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Was glued to her monitor screen
Despite misdemeanors,
That Anthony Weiner’s
Namesake redefined the broad bean!
Sorry — forgot the semicolon after “screen.”
A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
When served subpar supper, got mean;
His waitress, fed up,
Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup,
Sir, I’ve seen quite enough of your spleen!”
The waitress has bad grammar but I think I still like this revised version better:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When served subpar supper, got mean;
His waitress, fed up,
Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup;
Sir, our liver don’t merit your spleen!”
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
And considered McDonald’s obscene
Would roll up his eyes
At their factory fries
And computerized grilling machine.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
From a ramekin, pot or terrine
Would begin ev’ry day
With a café au lait
While preparing his crêpe amandine.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
While camping with mujahedeen
Would freshly bake scones
While running from drones
And filling up flasks with benzene.
Thanks so much for your fun limericks and kind words! And please keep those limericks coming!
Last week I posted the same limerick twice; this week I forgot to post it at all!
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Dined on a woman named Jean
He’d to quickly select her,
For Hannibal Lecter
The state felt they really must wean
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Was torn between lean and obscene-
Ly plump: aah, each taste
Went straight to her waist,
So she alternates Fat days with Green.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Served for four years aboard submarine.
Though non-foodwise, ’twas swell,
Navy gravy was h*ll…
So Stu Cooke ran the onboard canteen.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Found “poor” cooking could turn him quite mean:
Dates would quail, servers ran
When the shouting began ~
Only freebies brought peace to the scene.
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Was humble and not apt to preen.
“I’m not choosy, for sure.
If it’s good I want more
And sometimes a wiener is keen.”
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Was selected for Eat! Magazine;
‘Twas her chance to devour
Plates of food by the hour
‘Til ~ not lean ~ she’d no longer be seen.
A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
Years ago was a slim, handsome teen;
Now bemoans each bite, glass:
“It goes straight to my ass,”
He complained, “I’m a once-thin has-been.”
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Stared bitterly at a soybean.
The chef was a vegan
So what she was eatin’
Was not the cuisine of her dreams.
Oh good! More fun limericks! Thanks, and please keep them coming!
This Limerick-Off is officially over and you can find the results here in the latest Limerick of the Week announcement. Congratulations to the winners and thanks to all of you for your delightful limericks!
But the limerick writing fun isn’t over. A new Limerick-Off has already begun. I hope to see you all there!