Archive for June, 2011
Tuesday, June 28th, 2011
When I went to school a zillion years ago, using Pi was a given in math class. So I was astonished to learn that some mathematicians favor using Tau instead. What’s the difference? While Pi’s value is 3.14 plus an endless bunch of post-decimal digits, Tau’s value is double Pi at 6.28 (plus its own post-decimal digits*.) And while Pi is celebrated on March 14th, math fans commemorate Tau on June 28th.
I figured that since I’ve already written Pi a limerick ode in its honor, Tau deserves the same treatment:
Mathematical Cat Fight (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems Pi has a challenger — Wow!
The name of its rival is Tau!
Its value is twice
That of Pi — oh how nice!
“2 Pi R” becomes “Tau R.” Meow!
Happy Tau Day!
* Edited for clarity.
Tags: Arithmetic, Celebrations Poetry, Education & School Humor, June 28th, June Holidays, Math Humor, Mathematics Poem, Pi, Tau
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Education & School Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor | 19 Comments »
Sunday, June 26th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was playing with fire…
or
A woman was playing with fire…
Here’s mine:
Fiery Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was playing with fire
When he called his new boss a big liar.
But he still has his job
Cuz his boss — call him Bob —
Was caught lying and forced to retire.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Boss Humor, Dishonesty, Employment Humor, Fire, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Honesty Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 68 Comments »
Sunday, June 26th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to BRENDA BRYANT a/k/a Rinkly Rimes who wins Limerick of the Week for this very amusing verse:
A gal who could never say no
Said ‘Come on! Don’t be shy, Romeo!’
She was eager to please
Even on a trapeze!
Which was great for the folk down below!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Johanna Richmond, Scott Crowder, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, and Vivienne Blake. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Johanna Richmond:
A man who could never say no
Frenetically dashed to and fro;
With a mistress and wife
He had double the strife
Kissing two butts – a tough row to hoe.
Scott Crowder:
A man who could never say no
To pork chops and raw cookie dough,
Made me whisper “Oh, Lord,”
When he wobbled on board,
“I hope he don’t sit in my row.”
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A man who could never say no
To the urges that came from below
Was finally defeated,
When thousands retweeted
His self-composed, solo tableau.
Vivienne Blake:
A gal who could never say no
Married ten at a time, dontcha know.
Polyandry her crime,
She had to do time.
It was worth it, she loved ‘em all so.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Brenda Bryant, David Lefkovits, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Vivienne Blake, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Friday, June 24th, 2011
Mark and I were very saddened to hear that Peter Falk has died. He’s provided so much entertainment and so many laughs over the years, I had to write this limerick:
Limerick Ode To Peter Falk
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Alas, we have lost Peter Falk.
He was famed for his “one more thing” talk.
His Columbo spurred laughs
With his “just pretend” gaffes,
As he nailed ev’ry bad guy he’d stalk.
Tags: Celebrity Deaths, Peter Falk
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor, Public Figures, Television (TV) Humor | 13 Comments »
Friday, June 24th, 2011
Dear Facebook: Get Up To Speed
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Facebook seems sluggish of late.
First I click, then I wait and I wait.
It’s getting annoying —
No longer enjoying
My visits. I’m getting irate.
Tags: Computer Verse, Facebook Humor, Impatience, Social Media Poetry, Technology Humor
Posted in Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011
I’ll bet you didn’t know about this week’s most important holiday: Take Your Dog To Work Day. It’s celebrated each year on the first Friday after Father’s Day, so this year it falls on June 24th.
While I’m a big fan of Take Your Parents To Work Day, the thought of an office full of canines gives me pause.
But some people seem to like it, so I’ve written them a limerick:
Happy Take Your Dog To Work Day!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I thought bringing your canine to work
A superb way to look like a jerk.
But I’m wrong off the bat:
Take your dog (not your cat)
To your workplace — a holiday perk.
Tags: Animal Verse, Canine Humor, Career Poem, Dog Verse, June Holidays, Take Your Dog To Work Day, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, June 22nd, 2011
Watching Twitter can be a good way to spot disgusting new trends. For instance, just yesterday the phrase “Fried Kool-Aid” was a hot tweet topic. So naturally I had to investigate.
Here’s what a learned about fried Kool-Aid:
Creator Charlie Boghosian explains that the Kool-Aid balls are “kind of like donut holes” with a batter made from flour, water and Kool-Aid. His inspiration was fairly straightforward; Boghosian loved drinking Kool-Aid when growing up so he thought, “why not fry it and see what happens.”
Fried What??? (A Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fried Kool-Aid? The thought makes me gag.
Seems it’s prompting some tweet tongues to wag.
Do you munch it or sip it?
I think I’ll just skip it.
Hope it comes with a giant barf bag!
Tags: Charlie Boghosian, Deep Fried Kool-Aid Balls, Food Humor, Food Verse, Twitter Verse
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Odd Trends, Twitter Humor | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, June 21st, 2011
Help! I can’t stop writing acrostic limericks! Here’s my latest:
Hasty Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
He who rushes ain’t likely to rate
And he’ll probably err and be late.
So take enough time —
To be careful is prime.
Easy does it. Perfection can wait.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Advice Limerick, Cautionary Verse, Hastiness Humor, Perfection Verse, Rushing Humor
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks | 24 Comments »
Sunday, June 19th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who could never say “no”…
or
A gal who could never say “no”…
Here’s mine:
Generous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who could never say “no”
Was warned by his wife to go slow.
“Just what are you thinking?
Our bank account’s shrinking.
Stop giving away all our dough.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Donations Humor, Generosity Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 46 Comments »
Sunday, June 19th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to SCOTT CROWDER who wins Limerick of the Week for this very clever verse:
A gal who was proud of her clout,
When fondled would shudder and shout.
And she learned by and by,
It is spelled with an I.
The O and the U are left out.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Bruce Niedt and Ira Bloom. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Bruce Niedt:
A man who was proud of his clout
Brought a bat to the plate, big and stout.
Quite a menacing guy,
When the pitcher let fly—
But whaddya know, he struck out.
Ira Bloom:
A man who was proud of his clout
Nonetheless was consumed by self-doubt
‘Cause his aids quit en masse
Claiming “Newt, you’re an ass.”
All in all, he had little to tout.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Bruce Niedt, Ira Bloom, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, June 19th, 2011
Hubby Mark and I had a great time last night sipping wine, munching cheese, and chatting up a storm at the lovely Paula’s Stone Cottage Wine Bar in Fishkill, New York.
Here’s my limerick review:
Limerick Ode To Paula’s Stone Cottage Wine Bar
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a wine bar in Fishkill — first rate:
Charming venue, a cheese plate that’s great.
We were loathe to adjourn
And plan to return
To Paula’s Stone Cottage — can’t wait.
And here’s a review hubby Mark Kane just wrote and posted on Yelp:
My wife and I can’t say enough good about this place.
As soon as we entered we were greeted by this warm, friendly fellow who insisted we meet Paula. And yes there really is a Paula, and she was even more enthusiastic and more welcoming than he was.
We were offered a personal tour of the establishment but declined and instead found ourselves a nice cozy spot at bar where the bartender proceeded to ply us with free shot glasses of wines as he tried to find the perfect wine for each of us, and after four or five he did!
This was not the exception but rather the norm. They really try to make you feel at home, and want you to be very, very happy with your wine selection so you’ll order more no doubt.
We inquired about food and were strongly encouraged to try either the “Cheese Plate” or “Cheese and Meats Plate”. We opted for the “Cheese Plate for Two” and were not at all disappointed.
It could feed three or four easily and was quite impressive. It came complete with a large selection of cheeses, a nice spicy humus, artichoke hearts, perfectly moist sun dried tomatoes, and an assortment of olives. Tried as we did we could not finish it all.
And the music! What an excellent mix of music which Paula has selected. There is something for everyone in that music mix.
The place is very cozy but small so I would be careful about going there with a large group of people unless you get there very early or on an off night. I am told the weekends can be quite busy.
There are three different areas which you can enjoy. A lovely romantic outdoor garden, a very active bar area where impromptu slow dancing has been known to occur, and an equally active lounge in the back.
The music, lighting, great wines, excellent warm service and general ambiance of this place clearly attracts a nice friendly intelligent crowd, people of all ages, rich and poor, married and single all enjoying each other’s company.
You may enter as a stranger but I promise, you will leave as family.
Tags: Fishkill New York, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Restaurants, Wine & Cheese, Wine Bars, Wine Limerick, Wine Tasting
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Night On The Town, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, June 18th, 2011
Father’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Do not argue with me,” said the dad
To his son, who was making him mad.
“You are too disputatious,
Your point is fallacious,
And…” “Huh?” said the four-year-old lad.
Tags: Argument Verse, Dads Limerick, Family & Relatives Humor, Father's Day Humor, June Holidays, Parenthood Humor, Parenting Humor
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, General, Holiday Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, June 15th, 2011
Acrostic Limericks In Vogue?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Very stylish young gals were out walking
On the streets of Manhattan, while talking.
Guys were tempted to cheer:
Undergarments were clear.
Even women who saw them were gawking.
UPDATE: I just realized I’ve written seven acrostic limericks in the last couple of months. Perhaps I can postpone senility, after all.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Apparel Humor, Clothing Poem, Fashion Humor, Style Humor, Underwear Humor
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Fashion Humor, Limericks | 16 Comments »
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Healthy Complaint (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dark choc’late, caffeine, and red wine
Might harm us, or may be just fine.
Ev’ry news item muddies
My mind with new studies.
Please make up your mind: What’s benign?
(Prompted by We Write Poems, which encouraged poets to use two prompts at once. I used health and chocolate.)
You might also enjoy my Are Health Studies Making Us Sick? and Margarine Is Good For You. Oops — Never Mind!
Tags: Caffeine Humor, Chocolate Poem, Diet Humor, Food Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Studies, Wine Humor
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse | 21 Comments »
Monday, June 13th, 2011
Opinionated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who thought he knew best
Spurned conflicting opinions with zest—
His perpetual song:
“I am right. You are wrong.”
Self-improvement, it seems, not his quest.
Tags: Advice Limerick, Opinions, Self-Help Satire, Self-Improvement, Stubbornness
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Self-Help Humor | 6 Comments »
Sunday, June 12th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was proud of his clout…
or
A gal who was proud of her clout…
Here’s mine:
A Limerick With Clout
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was proud of his clout
And had nary a hint of self-doubt
Became cocky and lewd
And carelessly crude.
As for power, he now has a drought.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Clout Humor, Crude Limerick, Lewd Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Power Verse, Self-Doubt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 61 Comments »
Sunday, June 12th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. Competition was extra strong this week, and I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and the Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to VERSEBENDER who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Had a spread in a big magazine.
But the shoot turned out lewd
‘Cause he cooked in the nude.
Some utensils are best left unseen.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Lynette Killam, Lewis Evans, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Johanna Richmond, and Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Lynette Killam:
A woman who loved fine cuisine
Gave up struggling to keep herself lean.
She finally said,
“I’ll be thin when I’m dead…
I’d much rather be chubby than mean!”
Lewis Evans:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Was a cereal killing machine.
His obsession with grits
Rendered turbo-charged shits,
Wasting all who passed by his latrine.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
While camping with mujahedeen
Would freshly bake scones
While running from drones
And filling up flasks with benzene.
Johanna Richmond:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When served subpar supper, got mean;
His waitress, fed up,
Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup;
Sir, our liver don’t merit your spleen!”
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow who loved fine cuisine
When tipping was stingy and mean.
“My custom is still
Two percent of the bill.”
The spit in his soup went unseen.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Johanna Richmond, Lewis Evans, Limerick Of The Week, Lynette Killam, Phyllis Sterling Smith, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011
I don’t mean to bitch (okay, maybe I do) but it’s hot as hell here in New York. And weather forecasters are saying it will hit 100 degrees tomorrow.
But hey … there’s no global warming, right?
Heated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
One-hundred degrees? I may swoon.
Yes, I’m singing a very hot tune.
And I’m down in the mouth
Cuz this isn’t the south,
But Bayside, New York — early June.
Tags: Bayside, Global Warming, Heat Advisory, New York City Verse, Seasonal Poems, Weather Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 14 Comments »
Tuesday, June 7th, 2011
One of my favorite limerick challenges is writing acrostic limericks. Here’s my latest:
Courting Acrostic Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Come one and come all to this site:
Oaths are sworn here, and litigants fight.
Understand that our laws
Rest on humans with flaws,
Tilting “justice” t’wards those who have might.
(Inspired by Acrostic Only.)
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Courthouse Humor, Judicial Limerick, Law Humor, Legal Limerick, Litigation Poem
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | 23 Comments »
