Moody Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was in a bad mood…
or
A woman was in a bad mood…
Here’s mine:
Moody Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was in a bad mood
Cuz he’d just been informed he’d been sued.
He’d posted online
A libelous whine
And would soon be a very poor dude.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Defamation, Law Humor, Litigation Poem, Money Verse, Mood Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A woman was in a bad mood
And became unbelievably crude
She farted and belched
Then deliberately welched
On a bet to sing ‘Fame’ in the nude
A woman was in a bad mood
’cause she hated all things that were lewd.
She looked on all porn
with nothing but scorn
But she did like to see a nude dude.
A fellow was in a bad mood
Something he did his wife misconstrued
He kissed a young thing
Just a brief fling
Now he’s locked out in the nude!
A fellow was in a bad mood
He had just eaten some awful food
It was prepared by a date
Who he considered first rate
But the food was so crude he was forced to be rude.
A woman was in a bad mood.
AT work she was quite rude!
She was so cross.
She punched her boss.
For that she’s being sued.
A woman was in a bad mood
(had something to do with her brood).
When her husband came home
She told him to roam,
And he knew that this thought would be good!
A fellow was in a bad mood
And that made him act rather rude
So he told his dear wife
He desired a new life
Now he’s fertilizer for food
A fellow was in a bad mood
Where he worked at a school and served food
At this cafeteria
He felt quite inferiah
Cause his locks were wrapped up in a snood.
A woman was in a bad mood,
because a man that she had screwed,
then showed everyone
a film of their fun,
and all of the viewers then booed.
A woman was in a bad mood,
At the palace they call Holyrood
She screamed, “All the Scots
Are just big drunken sots!”
Then she said she had been misconstrued…
A fellow was in a bad mood,
his cello was sad and unglued,
when played it would moan
and groan and would drone,
like a cat with a bad attitude.
A fellow was in a bad mood;
He had swallowed a fly with his food.
As he coughed and he spluttered
Those nearest him muttered
‘Those noises are terribly rude!’
A woman was in a bad mood
For as usual, her husband was rude
She dumped her bad spouse
After emptying their house
And she has a great new attitude!
My limerick is here:
Miffed and Adrift
A woman was in a bad mood
She was always mad at her dude
His fart’s were smally and rude
She always fried his food
Or maybe guy’s are just rude.
A woman was in a bad mood
and so she decided to brood
she threw a big fit
which popped a big zit
and landed right into her food
A woman was in a bad mood
cause her husband was awfully crude
she gave him a glance
as he hitched up his pants
his exposure was frightfully lewd
A fellow was in a bad mood
He pouted, grimaced and stewed
He continued his dysfunction
By his rueful compunction
And extended his ongoing brood.
Bad Mood
A fellow was in a bad mood
For the model he chose to paint nude
Had already been painted
And he almost fainted
When he saw where she’d been tattooed
A woman was in a bad mood
‘Cause she couldn’t stop thinking of food
Then she said “Better try it…
This new sticky diet…”
And painfully had her lips glued
A fellow was in a bad mood
as he’d realised his date was a prude;
she’d cried in surprise
and shut tight her eyes
when he’d wandered around in the nude.
A fellow was in a bad mood
The budget he proposed was quite crude;
He said, “Quit your cryin’
My name is Paul Ryan
Here’s a voucher since Medicare’s screwed!”
A lady is in a bad mood
Though married, she is a prude.
Her man is too lewd,incredibly crude
which depressed her and left her subdued.
A fellow was in a bad mood.
Be assured that his language was rude.
The judge gave his ex-wife
all he’d gathered in life.
He was left more or less in the nude.
Thanks everyone for your delightful limericks and please keep them coming!
A fellow was in a bad mood
After seeing himself in the nude.
He was down in the mouth
As his eyes travelled south
Where the length of his age could be viewed.
a woman was in a bad mood
and went off to shop & to brood
her husband just cried
as the bill he eyed
what were you thinking dude?
lol, this may be the first limerick ever written by me…hope you have a great monday
Just noticed, when I came back for a read of the limericks, that a missing line break has messed up my first limerick. It should be:
A lady is in a bad mood
Though married, she is a prude.
Her man is too lewd,
incredibly crude
which depressed her and left her subdued.
Hardly worth correcting!
A fellow was in a bad mood
When his girlfriend, he learned, was a prude
As he tried to seduce her
She said “That’s ABUSE, sir!
Stop letting your penis protrude!”
Second thoughts changed her mind and her mood
She’d really not meant to be rude
After all, he was cute
He had quite a ‘salute’
But too late, he’d been verbally screwed.
A woman was in a bad mood
After finding a hair in her restaurant food
Much to her dismay
The hair appeared to be gay
A not from a woman but from a dude.
A man was in a bad mood
He was a virgin, never been screwed.
He changed his life
Even took a wife
But when it came to doin’ the deed, found it much too lewd.
A fellow was in a bad mood.
The nightmares he could not elude.
His legs left in the sand,
he came home half a man.
And we owe him our deep gratitude.
A fellow was in a bad mood
Caught up in a self-pitied brood
His wife left today
With that, he’s OK
But her mother’s still here, how shrewd!
Your limericks are so charming, you always make me smile =)
I’m enjoying these! Please keep them coming and cross-post on my Facebook post if you’re active on FB. Thanks for the fun limericks and kind words!
A fellow was in a bad mood.
His order had been misconstrued.
He’d ordered some Duff
but it was by a bluff.
The bottle was empty. How rude!
profound limerick.
cheers.
love your crispy words.
Oops. There was a typo in the one I left above…
Duff Beer Limerick
A fellow was in a bad mood.
His order had been misconstrued.
He’d ordered some Duff
but it was a bluff.
The bottle was empty. How rude!
A fellow was in a bad mood,
And feeling financially screwed,
When he read in his statement
How lowly his rate went,
So int’rest had barely accrued.
A woman was in a bad mood
Her feelings could only be skewed
So she went for a walk
Did some inner self-talk
Now, no longer needs to be rude.
A woman was in a bad mood
Not sure of what she should do
Ex showed no compunction
And beat the injunction
Their clip now has 10,000,000 views
two verses
A fellow was in a bad mood
And so was the rest of his brood
“This oatmeal’s too lumpy!”
”This dress looks all frumpy!”
They just had a bad attitude
But then they improved their demeanor
Turned nicer and didn’t turn meaner
“This glass is half-full!”
“You push and I’ll pull!”
And yes indeed, their grass was greener
A fellow was in a bad mood
So he sat in a corner and stewed.
By him there happened to pass
A most cheery and beautiful lass–
And the sight of her made him feel good!
(Corny, but this happens when I’m in a good mood….)
I don’t have a limerick to share but I love yours Madeline.
Hugs to you, G
A fellow was in a bad mood
As he lay there distraught in the nude
Other women had said
He was worthless in bed
But this was the first time one booed
A lady was in a bad mood
She addressed a crowd that was rude,
She said, “Stop your wailin’
My name’s Sarah Palin
And I can see Mexico from my new house…”)))
A woman was in a bad mood.
With him she had billed and cooed.
She thought it would stay
Forever that way
Till he told her that she’d misconstrued.
A woman was in a bad mood
Because of the fact she’d just viewed.
Her neighbors heard wails
As she stepped from the scales,
“I’m doomed to prefer fatty food!”
A fellow was in a bad mood,
He expressed it by being quite rude:
Hung a “moon” out his car
Late that night near a bar,
Where cops found him passed out in the nude.
A fellow was in a bad mood
So one drink led to three, then to stewed:
At last, home he staggered,
Pale, sweating, and haggard.
He swayed on the front steps, half nude,
Where at dawn his wife found him. Dismayed,
She brayed, “You had just gotten paid!”
At which point he threw up
In her favorite D cup…
(It’ll be quite a while ’til he’s laid).
oh i’m so bad with limericks..but always enjoy reading yours..
A woman was in a bad mood
You’da thunk she’da not gotten stewed
She stumbled to her car
And somehow drove to the bar
Where she put on a rude attitude.
A woman was in a bad mood
She just couldn’t control her huge brood
They drove the block crazy
The neighbors called her lazy
And all she would say is, “Don’t intrude!”
A fellow was in a bad mood
But he didn’t let on! Wasn’t rude!
He was sweetness and light
To all in his sight
A gentleman ever, not crude.
Ha! Great stuff.
Luke
A woman was in a bad mood
Cuz her fellow was acting quite lewd
He jumped at the chance
To take off his pants
Poor guy, she’s a bit of a prude!
A fellow was in a bad mood
Cuz the gal that he wooed and persued
Refused to undress
When he started to press
When asked, he replied “I got screwed!”
A woman was in a bad mood,
Inclined on her problems to brood.
Her thoughts grew more bitter,
But she was no quitter:
180’d, and bad mood eschewed :)
As one’s love life and mood frequently go hand-in-hand, I offer these two perspectives…:)
A woman was in a bad mood
Once her boyfriend had dumped her for good.
She ate day and night,
Now she’s no longer slight,
And her only love life is with food!
A fellow was in a bad mood…
With a tendency often to brood.
The girl he adored
Seemed incredibly bored,
So he never knew quite where he stood!
A woman was in a bad mood:
Above her head, dark stormclouds brewed.
She hurled verbal lightning,
Demeanor quite fright’ning
As on hapless husband she chewed
Who promptly bit back a retort
But let out a sigh and loud snort.
She stopped short, and listened
Though tears on cheeks glistened:
“I’m sorry, you’re such a good sport!
Come hug me, that’s just what I need;
I’ve been running since six at top speed.”
He shrugged, “It’s okay,
You’ve just had a bad day…
Can I fix you some tea?” She agreed.
And later that night she lay thinking
While outside, the bright stars were winking.
We’re lucky, life’s good;
I feel so understood!
Smiled, blinking, then into dreams sinking…
A fellow was in a bad mood,
Took it out on a film he reviewed:
Acting s*cked! And the plot?
Was there one? I forgot!
His “review” contract wasn’t renewed.
ah@ you make it look so easy!!! :(
Now if I could hear a meter, what it sounds like it would make sense I think. Thank you for the visit! :)
Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun limericks. And please keep those limericks coming!
A fellow was in a bad mood
with a girl that he yearned to see nude
he got in a mess
when he took off her dress
the woman, it seems, was a dude
A fellow was in a bad mood
for his wife did but snub him and brood.
I don’t understand her!
Why is she in a dander?
All I said was that chocolate ain’t food
A fellow was in a bad mood:
so broke that all he had was canned food.
He decided to strip
and earn plenty of tips —
now, he earns his dough in the nude.
A woman was in a bad mood.
Her finances she had reviewed.
Just enough in the bank,
to fill up her tank,
but nothing left over for food.
nicely done…thanks for sharing this
A woman was in a bad mood
Cause her husband was just downright rude;
When she talked he ignored;
When she flirted he snored;
When she sang the boor actually booed.
A woman was in a bad mood:
What could her day further include?
Her rent check had bounced,
Her job she’d renounced;
‘Twas the fourteenth, but nonetheless skewed.
A fellow was in a bad mood,
His boss had the nerve to intrude
On his call: “Back to work!”
“Gotta go ~ what a jerk.”
That call wasn’t all he’d conclude…
Because early the following day
The boss called him in: “Listen, Ray,
You’ve been coasting all year.
We don’t need slackers here,
So consider this notice with pay.”
Ray was shocked: “Deb, what if I do better?”
“All those calls to your girlfriend? Forget her;
Because here, your time’s mine ~
Toe the line, rain or shine!”
So he stayed, obeys rules to the letter…
A woman was in a bad mood:
She hadn’t been properly wooed.
On bent knee he’d proposed,
Then became indisposed –
Dropped her ring and threw up in his food.
How could she abide sickly Tex?
Love life hexed :( Oh, she missed hunky Rex!
She’d renege, pick a fight
(Though it might not be right)
And return to her ex for the sex.
A Fellow Considers a Second Breakfast
A fellow was in a bad mood
For he happened to see himself nude
The mirror’s reflection
Showed such imperfection
He thought it was purposefully rude!
“How dare you so cruelly distort me!
I know for a fact I’m not portly!
In fact I recall
Said ‘Mirror²’ on the wall
“If I’m lying, then you can report me!
“I’m known the world-round for the truth
I reveal to the aged and the youth
You might hear otherwise
From a mirror that lies,
But not I! Here’s the pudding of proof:
“Some mirrors will always reflect, it
Seems, only one’s outer aspect. It
Is surely no match for
Your slim inner stature
I suggest that you promptly reject it!”
Said the man, “Lying mirror so crude!
I refuse to believe one so rude
As to tell me I’m fat
As an overfed cat
And put me in such a bad mood”
That fellow once in a bad mood,
Overcome with a bad attitude,
Got a second opinion
From his own hired minion
Then, satisfied, ate some more food!
Bravo again! Excellent. Grinning from ear to ear :O)
Oh, Paula, that was just marvelous ~ a mirror-cle of limerick-sy! :^D I, too, adore the multi-stanza short stories: at last, someone who shares the attraction! Write on!!!
A woman was in a bad mood,
Faced a dumbfounded burglar while nude
Who fled after screaming,
“I gotta be dreaming!
(A nightmare.) I’ll never intrude
Again without weighing the risks:
I’d’ve blown out at least three back discs!”
She sighed, “That was eight
For the month. Is my weight
Listed on ‘Burglar Tricks: D*ck-Chick Frisks’?”
A fellow was in a bad mood
After seeing himself in the nude,
But he hoped, in his clothes,
Biting down on a rose,
He’d exude Argentine attitude.
Thanks again to all of you for your delightful limericks and kind words. This Limerick-Off competition is now over and you can find the Limerick of the Week Winner and the four Honorable Mentions here.
But don’t worry — there’s still lots of opportunity to have fun with limericks and compete for Limerick of the Week. I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off here: Gourmet Limerick.