Archive for May, 2011
Sunday, May 29th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was in a bad mood…
or
A woman was in a bad mood…
Here’s mine:
Moody Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was in a bad mood
Cuz he’d just been informed he’d been sued.
He’d posted online
A libelous whine
And would soon be a very poor dude.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Defamation, Law Humor, Litigation Poem, Money Verse, Mood Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 77 Comments »
Sunday, May 29th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and four Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to PATRICK MCGUIRE who wins Limerick of the Week for this charming verse:
A fellow went out on a date
And proudly showed off his best trait.
The woman was awed
And loud did applaud,
But now she complains that she’s late.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) VerseBender, Catherine Palmer, Steve Vitoff, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
VerseBender:
A fellow went out on a date,
But found himself deep in debate.
You want to get kissed
Instead of dismissed?
Leave politics at the front gate.
Catherine Palmer:
A woman went out on a date
With a fellow who made her irate.
He showed up at her door
Like a john for his whore
And proceeded to ask for her rate.
Steve Vitoff:
A woman went out on a date.
But her date she began to berate.
She’d freak when he’d speak
And critique his physique.
Rest assured, they did not conjugate.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman went out on a date.
That started and ended at eight:
“His chiseled physique
Would render me weak,
So I’m leaving before it’s too late.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Catherine Palmer, David Lefkovits, Limerick Of The Week, Patrick McGuire, Steve Vitoff, VerseBender, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 7 Comments »
Thursday, May 26th, 2011
Poets United prompts us to write about chocolate:
Chocolate Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear candy shop, leave out the filling.
Those rich, creamy innards ain’t thrilling.
I like choc’late that’s pure.
Milk or dark? Both allure.
Must I choose? Okay, dark gets top billing.
Update: Happy National Chocolate Day: October 28th!
Tags: Candy Humor, Chocolate Poem, Dessert Humor, Food Verse, National Chocolate Day, October Holidays, Sweets
Posted in Food & Drink Humor | 13 Comments »
Tuesday, May 24th, 2011
May 25th is a big day for wine lovers — National Wine Day. So I thought I’d celebrate with an acrostic limerick:
Acrostic Limerick To Celebrate National Wine Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whatever your regular pick
In selecting a drink with a kick,
Never let any ice
Enter wine — it ain’t nice,
Said a wine snob, who poured it on thick.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Drinking Limerick, May Holidays, National Wine Day, Wine Humor
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Food & Drink Humor | 27 Comments »
Sunday, May 22nd, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman went out on a date…
or
A fellow went out on a date…
Here’s mine:
Dated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman went out on a date
With a man who was easy to hate.
So why did she go?
He had plenty of dough
And was ancient and soon would be late.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Dating Limerick, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Contests, Dating Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 62 Comments »
Sunday, May 22nd, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to JOHANNA RICHMOND who wins Limerick of the Week for this witty and timely verse:
A fellow was hatching a plot
(Cruel, evil, corrupt, dot, dot, dot);
But for once folks cried out,
Even Newt voiced his doubt;
Paul, your vouchers aint worth diddly-squat.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Earlybird, David Lefkovits a/k/a Mr. Goose, and Matty. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith:
A fellow was hatching a plot
To tutor his parrot a lot.
She not only could squawk.
In nine tongues she could talk.
She’s known as a true Polly-glot.
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:
A fellow was hatching a plot
Involving his girlfriend named Dot.
He’d take her to Reno
and make a bambino.
Then she’d have to agree: “Tie the knot!”
Earlybird:
A woman was hatching a plot
To pepper her man with lead shot.
She thought she’d have fun
With a sawn-off shot gun,
Then boil his remains in a pot.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A woman was hatching a plot
For seducing a boy who was hot:
“I’ll have him, me thinks,
After plying with drinks
At some out-of-the-way little boîte.”
Matty:
A woman was hatching a plot
To marry a man who was hot.
When she offered a lay,
The gent walked away.
A beautiful gal she was not.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Earlybird, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Matty, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 11 Comments »
Friday, May 20th, 2011
Limerick Ode To End Timers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fanatics are trying to fend
With this concept: the world’s gonna end.
When portentous predictions
Turn out to be fictions,
They re-do their math and amend.
(Prompted by dire religious predictions and this weekend’s end theme)
Tags: Biblical Prophecies, Doomsday Prophets, End Timers, End Times, Fanatics Humor, Judgement Day, Predictions Satire, Rapture, Religious Humor
Posted in Limericks, Religion Verse | 9 Comments »
Thursday, May 19th, 2011
Why is this limerick untitled? Because Thursday Think Tank has prompted us to write an untitled poem. Writing without a title frees up our creative juices … at least that’s the theory:
Untitled Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To title a verse can be hard —
A challenge for most ev’ry bard.
But a title-less work
Can drive me berserk.
It feels jarring and fake-avant-garde.
Tags: Avant-Garde, Creativity, Poets United, Thursday Think Tank, Title Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Creativity Verse, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 12 Comments »
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011
I found myself a new serendipitous oxymoron at the prompt generator I played with yesterday. So the subject of today’s limerick is an Adorable Tyrant:
An Adorable Tyrant (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An “adorable tyrant?” Sounds wild!
A strange combo of mean and the mild.
I might even buy tix
To see such a mix,
Unless it’s a three-year-old child.
Tags: Children Humor, Oxymorons, Serendipity, Tyrant Humor, Writing Fix, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Limericks, Oxymoron Humor | 21 Comments »
Monday, May 16th, 2011
I’m always looking for fun ways to jumpstart my muse. A new favorite is this Serendipitous Oxymoron writing prompt generator over at the Writing Fix. Just a couple of clicks can pair you up with an amusing or thought-provoking oxymoron. For instance, today it gave me “Tasty Tragedy,” which inspired this limerick:
Tasty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The baker delivered his cake,
As the bride yelled, “I’ve made a mistake!”
She canceled her vows.
But that cake sure got wows,
As the wedding turned into a wake.
UPDATE: November 26th is National Cake Day.
Tags: Bakery, Baking Humor, Brides & Grooms, Cakes, Food Verse, National Cake Day, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Oxymorons, Serendipity, Wedding Humor, Writing Fix, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Celebrations Poetry, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Oxymoron Humor | 10 Comments »
Monday, May 16th, 2011
Sheet Musing
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Both my legs travel down the fresh sheet.
It feels cool to the touch, tight, and neat.
Now fully stretched out
They relax and then … doubt.
A rough tear has assaulted my feet.
(Inspired by this prompt to write about texture and an over-priced, lousy sheet.)
Tags: Bed Poem, Feet Humor, Legs Humor, Linens Poetry, Sheet Verse, Texture Humor
Posted in Furniture & Furnishings, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 5 Comments »
Sunday, May 15th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was hatching a plot…
or
A woman was hatching a plot…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Plot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was hatching a plot
To kidnap a rich fam’ly’s tot.
But the germ-fearing man
Abandoned his plan.
Seems the youngster was rescued by snot.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Crime, Germaphobe Humor, Kidnapping, Plots, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 65 Comments »
Sunday, May 15th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and two Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to Earlybird who wins Limerick of the Week for this amusing verse:
A gal thought it time to take stock
When once, on omitting to knock,
She turned on the lights,
Found her man dressed in tights
And struggling to do up a frock.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Guy Peter Pietrobono and Victoria Ceretto-Slotto. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Guy Peter Pietrobono:
A gal thought it time to take stock
Of her odd biological clock:
“With 12 kids today,
Plus 3 on the way,
These birth-control pills are a crock!”
Victoria Ceretto-Slotto:
A gal thought it time to take stock ––
Her love life was truly a crock:
She trusted her honey
Who fled with her money,
Betrayal that left her in shock.
She hired a lawyer to sue
And see that the creep got his due.
When she saw him in court,
He admitted his tort.
She said “Tough, it’s all over. We’re through.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: Earlybird, Guy Peter Pietrobono, Limerick Of The Week, Victoria Ceretto-Slotto, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 11 Comments »
Friday, May 13th, 2011
The year is young. But hubby Mark and I already have a candidate for the year’s worst movie-going experience: Source Code. I found it so annoying and boring, that I walked out after a half-hour or so. Mark didn’t like it much either, but opted to stay, hoping for a boffo ending.
So I spent the next ninety minutes wandering around a shopping center, killing time while Mark watched the movie … or so I thought. As I later learned, the film broke twenty or thirty minutes before the movie’s ending, and they never got it going again. So much for that boffo pay-off!
A Source Of Annoyance
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The last movie we saw, was a snooze.
I left early in lieu of loud boos.
Its title was Source Code
It struck our remorse code —
Left us singing the cash-wasted blues.
(Prompted by movie poetry)
Tags: Entertainment Limerick, Films, Leisure Time Humor, Movie Reviews, Source Code
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor | 8 Comments »
Thursday, May 12th, 2011
I Blame Edward Lear! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who loves to write verse
Has bits of it stuffed in her purse.
She frets about rhyme
Nearly all of the time.
She’s addicted, for better or worse.
Happy Birthday, Edward Lear! And Happy Limerick Day, May 12th!
You can find more National Limerick Day celebration limericks here and here.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Edward Lear, International Limerick Day, May Holidays, National Limerick Day, Obsession Verse, Rhyming Obsession, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Addiction Humor, Authors & Playwrights, Behavior & Personality, Creativity Verse, Holiday Humor, Light Verse, Limericks, Obsessions Humor, Public Figures, Writing & Publishing Humor | 11 Comments »
Tuesday, May 10th, 2011
Every year I like to celebrate Limerick Day (May 12) by writing a limerick in honor of Edward Lear, the father of the limerick. (Here are the two limericks I wrote in Lear’s honor last year.)
Since I’ve recently gotten into writing acrostic limericks, I decided to make things about bit harder on myself and write an acrostic limerick to celebrate Limerick Day (and Lear’s birthday.)
Happy Limerick Day (Acrostic Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Edward Lear should be honored — hooray!
Lim’rick verses he fathered, some say.
Entertained us with wit—
A nonsensical hit.
Remember his birthday — 12 May.
If you’re looking for a way to celebrate National Limerick Day, why not try participating in this week’s Limerick-Off?
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Celebrations Poetry, Edward Lear, May Holidays, National Limerick Day, Writers
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Authors & Playwrights, Birthday Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Light Verse, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 15 Comments »
Sunday, May 8th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man thought it time to take stock…
or
A gal thought it time to take stock…
Here’s mine:
Taking Stock Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man thought it time to take stock
Of his life in the world of hard rock
Cuz he made little dough
And to add to his woe,
He preferred playing Handel and Bach.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Bach, Career Poem, Composers, George Frideric Handel, Income Humor, Life Goals, Money Verse, Music Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Rock & Roll, Taking Stock, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 53 Comments »
Sunday, May 8th, 2011
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off. I’m very pleased to announce the winning Limerick of the Week and five Honorable Mentions:
Congratulations to Robert Basler who wins Limerick of the Week for this charming, not to mention artistic, verse:
A gal had to cancel her plan
To purchase some art by Rodin.
It turned out some stinkers
Made counterfeit Thinkers
Which they sold from the back of a van.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice Jenine, a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats, Ron Mardix, and David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Jane Shelton Hoffman:
A guy had to cancel his plan
To make love on his girlfriend’s divan.
Her parents walked in
Shouting, “This is a sin!
Get your hands off our daughter, young man!”
Johanna Richmond:
A gal had to cancel her plan
To demolish the gingerbread man
When his raisin eyes pleaded
And pink lips proceeded
To yell, “Put me back in the pan!”
Patrice Stewart a/k/a Patrice Jenine, a/k/a Patrice of the ManyCats:
A man had to cancel his plan
To relax on the beach, get a tan;
He was called in to work
(Yeah, the boss was a jerk)
So he’s still pasty white, in his van.
Ron Mardix:
A gal had to cancel her plan
To marry her boyfriend named Stan.
She has certain needs.
He “barely” succeeds.
Instead, off she ran with Sue-Ann.
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
A pol had to cancel his plan
For the banner beneath which he ran,
Which read that “Obama
Cannot find Osama,”
When now it appears: Yes, he can.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions. There were so many good ones, narrowing them down to the best six was big challenge.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
Tags: David Lefkovits, Jane Shelton Hoffman, Johanna Richmond, Limerick Of The Week, Patrice Stewart, Robert Basler, Ron Mardix, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Of The Week | 13 Comments »
