Argumentative Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who loved a good fight…
or
A fellow who loved a good fight…
Here’s mine:
Argumentative Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who loved a good fight
Would argue from morning till night.
She did it for sport
And she did it in court
Where her favorite word was “indict.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Arguments, Courthouse Humor, Crime, Law Humor, Legal Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A fellow who loved a good fight
drank liquor well into the night
as he came thru the door
at a quarter past four
his wife knocked an inch off his height.
A fellow who loved a good fight
Was, also, not terribly bright.
When he got in the ring
He would dance or he’d sing
And then be knocked out like a light!
So this is the right room for an argument… :)
just loved it. i wish i had your sense of humour and expertise of writing a limerick.
A woman who loved a good fight
reacted to every slight slight.
She’d punch in the eye
anyone who came by
with a look that she thought was not right.
A woman who loved a good fight
beat her husband every night.
He did’t mind –
the masochist kind –
and he thought that she had every right.
Blight Lite?
A fellow who loved a good fight
Took delight in the trite “Might is Right!”
A perpetual winner,
Sneered when labeled a sinner;
Despite his great height, no white knight
Of the realm. Then one day, into town
Strode a stranger, impressive, no clown;
Armor bright, dark as night.
Bully Dwight felt no fright
And lunged forth with one thought: Smite him down!
Swords arose, met and clashed – timeless rite:
Townsfolk cheered at Dwight’s plight, served him right
As the stranger prevailed,
Was by one and all hailed.
Since then, Dwight sports a slight overbite.
A woman who loved a good fight
Faced boxing opponents each night,
But wasn’t delighted
With who was invited
So threatened to bite, just for spite.
A woman who loved a good fight
Was saddened to learn that she might
Have to hang up each glove
And give over to love
Her passion redirected at night
A man who loved a good fight
Was out there prowling the night
Looking to spar
His passion was far
From his limp side of their bed on the right
A fellow who loved a good fight
Went to the arena one night
In the midst of the bout
A hockey match broke out
That’s where that old punch line took flight.
Thanks for your fun limericks everyone. Please keep them coming and, if you’re active on Facebook, cross-post them on Facebook too.
By the way, you don’t have to be one of my Facebook friends to post your limerick at that above link. But if you want to friend me there, just send me your request.
Thanks again!
A woman who loved a good fight,
use to do it with all of her might.
But her husband objected
So they got disconnected
She’s alone now and it serves her right.
A fellow who loved a Good Fight,
Would Bicker all day and all night,
A Bully was He,
To all that He’d See,
We Loved when he bade Us “Good Night.”
A fellow who loved a good fight
Liked to argue with guys twice his height
He stepped into a bar
Went a little too far
And woke up the following night
A woman who loved a good fight
It happened every time she got tight,
Her husband said no when she wanted a drink.
Which in turn caused a big stink.
In the end she was high as a kite.
A woman who loved a good fight
Said, “Darlin’, you know it’s all right
The reason I’m itchin’
To get in some bitchin’:
The making up part’s a delight!”
A fellow who loved a good fight
And always fought with such spite
When all along
He was wrong
I was the one that was right
A woman who loved a good fight
egged him on with a taunt a bit trite…
“your cheeks are just dimply,
all deep pink which simply
puts me in fit of delight!”
He drew back in horror at thoughts
that she effected his fists into knots
and realized she threw
some sort of witch-brew
to befuddle his thinking alots..
His heart started faster to beat,
when he shuddered and fell at her feet
As subdued as he felt,
while before her he knelt
he realized true love in defeat!
perfect!
you know women well, beautiful humor.
A++
A woman who loved a good fight
Went to Tea Party meetings each night.
She made it a point
To demolish the joint
As her own individual right.
A woman who loved a good fight
Had a bark that was worse than her bite
But don’t give her beer
Or a cup of good cheer
Because she might bite you when tight!
A woman who loved a good fight
Invited to dinner one night
A catholic, a Jew,
Palestinians too.
They kissed and made up out of spite!
Granny, I love this set, especially first and third! Must be my inner Democrat coming out (well, already out, actually) ~ thus I cheer your sentiments on :)
We’re off to a wonderful start. Thanks, and please keep your limericks coming!
A man who loved a good fight
Had a temper he loved to ignite
Not the Tyson of chicken
This Mike gave harsh lickin’s
Ask Evander, whose ear he did bite!
A woman who loved a good fight
Married a man with strong spite
So they hurt and annoyed
And irritated and exploited
Each other all day and all night.
Hahahaha. Love the theme. No time to write one right now though. :)
A fellow who loved a good fight
was honestly not a nice sight;
his nose had been shattered,
his brains somewhat battered
and his bark was much worse than his bite.
A fellow who loved a good fight
Found himself in a bit of a plight
The lady he wed
Had a terrible dread
Of affray, and of him took fright.
There are some really funny ones today :)
A fellow who loved a good fight,
was often an unpleasant sight.
Though nobody chooses
getting covered in bruises,
this often turned into his plight.
G.U.I., or Grousing While Soused
A fellow who loved a good fight
Debated, elated, each night:
He spewed and he yammered
Each point home he hammered,
‘Til even plump pigeons took flight
From streets where he always held court,
Snorts following ev’ry retort…
With each misdemeanor,
Demeanor de meaner,
Bystanders declared, “It’s de port!”
i know where to go when i needed a chuckle.. my potluck.. Chinese Love Story
A woman who loved a good fight
Started a Party on the extreme right
For a big hefty fee
She’d talk about all things Tea
And utter nonsense, much to everybody’s delight.
I am glad this lady was in the appropriated profession! Great word-play as always.
A woman who loved a good fight
Rolled in the gutter one night
Pulling the hair
Of London’s proud mayor
She’s sent to The Tower – serves her right!
A woman who loved a good fight
Ran her car right on through a red light
When she stopped for the cop
She gave him a pop
And now she’s in jail for the night!
I love this one!
A woman who loved a good fight,
stood boldly against England’s might.
A revolt she would spark,
young Sainte-Jeanne-d’Arc,
but the stake her bold spark would ignite.
Scott, I like this last one a lot! :)
{umm, inadvertent rhyme there – I must be “in the zone” :) }
Thanks Patrice! What a coincidence to get a comment from you because as I type this, my cat is in the corner having kittens. So far two are out and nursing, a gray one and a yellow one. I am trying to leave her alone so as not to stress her out but I can’t help looking in on her. I’m sure there will be more and I will be Scott of the ManyCats.
Anyone want a kitten in six-weeks?
A woman who loved a good fight,
threw down with her spouse every night.
She would start toe-to-toe,
then end with a blow,
that made her man squeal with delight.
A woman who loved a good fight
Thought opponents were thoroughly trite.
When she was tested,
she’s never was bested,
even though they were given to bite.
Scott, thanks for replying ~ yes, what a coincidence! Unfortunately our “inn is full” with our five current cats, down from eight last year before illnesses struck :(
I would be the proverbial Cat Lady without my husband’s moderating voice of reason; the saying “One can never have too many cats” originated from someone like me…so I wish you the very best with finding good home(s) for the kits, perhaps even with someone posting on Mad’s page here :)
Mad, thanks for allowing us to diverge momentarily from the Limericks Path! :)
Thanks everyone for your kind words and fun limericks. Please keep your limericks coming. You have a whole week to post before I award our next Limerick of the Week winner on Sunday.
{I’ve experimented here with changing meter midstream, starting with “Mr. MephisTOPHeles”, and welcome any and all feedback on cadence, ease of reading, etc. :) }
Enemy = Ene-Me
A fellow who loved a good fight
Took on inner demons each night.
They’d roll, tumble, wrestle,
His body the vessel ~
A bone-chilling, hair-raising sight.
He’d chortle and shout out with glee,
“You’ll not get the better of me!
Mr. Mephistopheles,
You can’t do just as you please!
I’ll win soon, then everyone will see…”
In his mind the horde attacked, obscene;
He leapt to intercept, his knife edge keen…
Came the dawn, not a peep
Where he lay fast asleep,
Clutching his own throat, his face serene.
Patrice, you’ve pinpointed the spot where your limerick goes astray. The Mephistopheles line not only has a meter problem, it also has a rhyme problem. You’re trying to rhyme tease (a stressed syllable) with the unstressed last syllable of Mephistophelese, and that doesn’t work. You need to rhyme the last three syllables of Mephistophelese, starting with TOPHelese, which may well be impossible. I’d suggest this rewrite of the last three lines of verse two to cure your meter and rhyme issue:
Mephistopheles, freeze!
Your power I’ll seize.
I’ll win soon and people will see.
You also have some meter issues in the last verse in the three A-rhyme lines. If you read it aloud, I think you’ll hear some extra beats and odd stresses in those three lines.
a fellow who loved a good fight
would go on a rumble all night
he’d punch and he’d jeer
fuelled on gallons of beer
then strut off to bed at first light
A woman who loved a good fight
would lie awake all through the night
“What bait should I use
and who to abuse?”
were the thoughts that sprung up from her spite.
Mine is here:
Yea or Nay
A woman who loved a good fight
Would demand, as she argued all night,
Philosophical heft
From those on the left
And empirical proof from the right.
A woman who loved a good fight
Looked strange in the eve’s dimming light.
She stoutly denied
She was transmogrified
But howled to the moon in the night.
A woman who loved a good fight
Kept her mate awake most of the night
He thought make-up sex cool
So he followed the rule
But he thought, “Somehow this just ain’t right.
…
“We get along well through the day
We cook together, we eat and we play
But night comes along
And she sings a new song
I don’t like it, but what can I say?”
He liked the results, yes it’s true
So he didn’t know what else he could do
It was worth the battle
And listening to her prattle
For make-up love when the fighting was through.
Thanks very much for your analysis, Mad! :)
Redone version:
Enemy = Ene-Me
A fellow who loved a good fight
Took on inner demons each night.
They’d roll, tumble, wrestle,
His body the vessel ~
A bone-chilling, hair-raising sight.
He’d chortle and shout out with glee,
“You’ll not get the better of me!
Mephistopheles, please:
You’re just a big tease!
I’ll win soon, and then I’ll be free…”
He leapt, intercepted the horde,
Sharp blade sweeping down as they roared…
Came the dawn, not a peep
As he smiled, deep in sleep ~
Grasp firm on invisible sword.
Patrice, you’re very welcome. Your new version is vastly improved!
And thanks everyone for your fun limericks! Please keep them coming. I don’t pick Limerick of the Week until Sunday, so you have lots of time to get your Limerick-Off submissions in. :)
Mine is HERE
A woman who loved a good fight,
To Tom was a wondrous delight.
Rough fellow was he,
To their surprise and great glee,
They fought the double backed monster all night.
A woman who loved a good fight
Who dumped Marc Zuckenberg one night
Was the true inspiration
For Facebook’s creation
Her name? Erica Albright
United We Stand – A Chance
A woman who loved a good fight
Breathed deeply, researched Left and Right ~
Exhausted, felt baited,
Confused, sad, frustrated:
Obama, while great, no White Knight
Who’ll cure all our problems by (date).
Folks, please! We can no longer wait
For divine revelation
Or Second Creation.
There’s hope, we have no destined fate:
Can always choose love over hate ~
Sounds hard? Yet forgiveness feels great!
Our nation has choices;
Let each of our voices
Unite in our goals: it grows late…
A woman who loved a good fight —
Not for spite — but outrage at the Right —
Said, “What you call ‘realistic’
Is just solipsistic —
An excuse to ignore others’ plight.”
Right on, Steve!
Hmmm: “Left on” just doesn’t mean the same thing, darn it…
Thanks, Patrice. Your triple limerick was inspired/inspiring as well.
Thank you, Steve; and with another bow to you, here’s one:
Let’s not Rush to judgment in haste
Nor offer Pat answers, a waste;
The guv of Alaska
Has failed at her task ~ a
“Solution” with which we’re all faced.
It’s counterintuitive, strange
To arrange for no way of exchange:
We all are endan-
Gered by our fear of change,
Thus too often we limit our range :^(
Mad, my apologies for straying from this week’s first line in my eagerness to channel The Muse of Creativity before (s)he flitted off again ~ will comply henceforth! :^)
A fellow who loved a good fight
Would oft Rush to judgment. Despite
Sly denial of facts,
Endless unholy pacts,
They applaud him ~ the Limb of the Right.
A woman who loved a good fight
Spared no one her trite sense of Right:
The guv of Alaska
Has failed at her task ~ a
“Solution” which highlights our plight.
A fellow who loved a good fight
Spews bile, all the while spreading blight;
Always out on a Lim(b)-
[Baugh]: Bah, humbug to him!
Spurns the facts in attacks ~ is this Right?
A fellow who loved a good fight,
Wings bright, urged us on: “Cease your blight…”
Gently scolded, “Dear human,
You’re consumed with consumin’ ~
It sounds trite, but you’ll soon see the Light!”
Some listened, but many steered wide
Of truth for which others had died.
You can hide, I can run,
We can wallow in “fun”…
No escaping the knowledge inside.
A fellow who loved a good fight
Vents his spleen, plain mean, filled with spite;
Vitriolic, bombastic,
He urges the drastic ~
In terrible things takes delight… :<(
A woman who loved a good fight
Took on the machine of the Right:
Sure, say what you will
Of our Hil and her Bill;
It took skill to ignite Left v. Spite.
Patrice, LOL! you’re really going strong today, aren’t you? I think you may have set or be close to setting some sort of record. :)
A woman who liked a good fight
Donned the armor of crusading knight.
She knew at a glance
That she needed a lance…
Now YOU write the punch line. Right!
A woman who loved a good fight
Was prone to attack from the Right,
But once in a while,
She’d scramble the dial,
And attack from the Left, just for spite.
I’m really enjoying these. Thanks and please keep them coming. Just two more days before I pick Limerick of the Week this Sunday. Thanks!
I guess that’s a good thing, Mad! My muse was on the loose, how could I refuse?! :^D
Patrice, I always say the more the merrier. :)
A fellow who loved a good fight
Saw the world strictly in black and white ~
But he found out one day
There exist shades of grey;
Now he questions all things, great or slight.
A woman who loved a good fight
Disagreed with all persons in sight;
Then implored, “Now I’m bored!
Please return to be gored ~
Each of you must acknowledge I’m right!”
A woman who loved a good fight
Fought for justice and peace every night,
Not with fists but instead
With words to be read
On the Web. That’s where Write is Might.
Wonderful, Granny! :) And bouncing off your theme:
A woman who loved a good fight
Wrestled lim’ricks by night ~ quite a sight:
Strata formed amidst data;
Dawn inspection by cat…a
Fresh archeological site.
A fellow who loved a good fight
Writes lim’ricks in strong morning light.
Metered stress he would grapple
{On a PC (not Apple)},
One syllable left: that’s not right! :^[
A fellow who loved a good fight
Took delight in the trite and true Right:
“Only unaware fools,
Used, confused, serve as tools,”
He incited: no insight in sight.
A nation who loved a good fight
Was bewildered: turn Left or go Right?
Petty party directive
Oft abject, non reflective,
Just recites PoliLite ~ not too bright…
Who won Limerick of the Week for last week’s Limerick-Off? Who got the four Honorable Mentions? You can find out here: Limerick of the Week 7.
Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. A new Limerick-Off has already begun. You can find it here: Spurned Limerick