Archive for March, 2011
Thursday, March 17th, 2011
Designing programs
for software business clients —
command performance.
*****
Military gifts
like General Patton’s patch —
commanding presents.
*****
Want satisfaction
when your weapon’s sarcasm?
Pick a smart target.
*****
An unrooted soul
steps on the joy of others
and roots for failure.
*****
Meaningful haiku
that’s smart, breezy, yet mellow —
ticklish challenge.
*****
(Haiku Heights commands prompts us to write haiku using the word command; One Single Impression wants us to be sarcastic; Sensational Haiku Wednesday roots for us to write haiku; and Three Word Wednesday prompts us to use breeze, mellow, and tickle in one fell swoop.)
Tags: Computer Software, Computer Verse, Gift Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Military Humor, Sarcasm Humor, Writing Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Poetry & Prompts, Telephone Humor | 27 Comments »
Wednesday, March 16th, 2011
Limerick Ode To St. Patrick’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
On St. Patrick’s Day join in the fun.
We’re all Irish that day — yes, each one.
So wear green, find a pub,
Eat some cabbagy grub,
And until you’ve drunk beer, you ain’t done.
Tags: Beer, Cabbage, Celebrations Poetry, Food Poem, Holiday Humor, Irish Limerick, Irish Pubs, March Holidays, Seasonal Verse, St. Paddy's Day, St. Patrick's Day Humor
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Seasons Humor | 11 Comments »
Wednesday, March 16th, 2011
Unstuck (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Whenever I feel like I’m stuck —
Like I’m trapped in a rut or in muck,
I attempt something new.
(What else can you do?)
And sometimes that changes my luck.
(Inspired by Big Tent Poetry’s stuck prompt.)
Tags: Being In A Rut, Big Tent Poetry, Feeling Trapped Humor, Luck Limerick, Self-Help Humor, Self-Improvement
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Self-Help Humor | 32 Comments »
Tuesday, March 15th, 2011
Dear Math Enthusiasts: My apologies for writing this Limerick Ode to Pi one day late. I hope it isn’t too radical for me to defend myself by saying I posted it circa Pi Day. And that I’m just an average (okay … eccentric) math user who often goes off on tangents and spirals out of control. Or are you diametrically opposed to such a rationale?
Don’t like my angle? Okay, I absolutely promise that next year I’ll try to be acutely accurate. But in the meantime, here’s my celebratory verse:
Limerick Ode To Pi
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The 14th of March just went by,
And I failed to commemorate Pi.
Pi is three point one four
And more digits galore.
Next year circle your calendars. Bye.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sorry for the height of silliness. I figure I should probably stop now, cuz you’ve lost interest and have concluded I’m flipping irrational.
Okay, I’m done now. We’re all squared away. You can count on it.
UPDATE: Here’s my new limerick for Pi Day 2014.
Tags: Arithmetic, Celebrations Poetry, Education & School Humor, March 14th, March Holidays, Math Humor, Mathematics Poem, Pi
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Education & School Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, March 14th, 2011
We Write Poems has an against the grain prompt which asks how (or if) we manage to write when we just aren’t feeling creative. My three-verse limerick explains all … sort of:
To write humor when not in the mood
Takes a major adjustment of ‘tude.
If I’m still uninspired,
I tell me, “You’re fired,”
Or pretend I’m about to be sued.
Okay, none of this stuff’s really true.
When I’m blocked, I don’t know what to do.
So I shower or walk,
Read the news, turn on talk,
Absorb info, inviting a cue.
At long last something starts to take hold,
And a concept begins to unfold,
As I play with the news
Which teases my muse
In my quest for some comedy gold.
(You can find more of my writers block humor here.)
Tags: Comedy Limerick, Creativity, Humor Writing, Muse, We Write Poems, Writer's Block, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Creativity Verse, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 26 Comments »
Sunday, March 13th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
But I’m trying something a bit different this time: One of your limericks will be anointed Limerick Of The Week. How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week in next week’s Limerick-Off post. And that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was very upset…
or
A woman was very upset…
Here’s mine:
Upset Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was very upset.
He was fretting and filled with regret.
He’d followed a tip
To invest in a ship,
Then discovered the tip was all wet.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Investment Humor, Limerick Of The Week, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Prize Winning Limericks, Ships, Writing Prompts
Posted in Business Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 45 Comments »
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Daylight Saving Time
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our clocks all need changing tonight.
Daylight Saving Time — oh what a blight!
We may think it a crock,
But must alter each clock
Till the powers that be see the light.
(More DST humor here.)
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Saving Time, Daylight Savings Time, DST, DST Humor, Holiday Poetry, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, SpringForward, SpringForwardDay, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Odd Holidays, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | 8 Comments »
Saturday, March 12th, 2011
Nursing nostalgia,
the tribute bands play covers —
relive what wasn’t.
*****
The injured cellist,
forced to bow out of concerts,
retires her bow.
*****
The big bands play swing —
old couples dance joyously,
then reclaim their canes.
*****
Three childhood friendships —
treasured, instrumental —
piano, oboe, flute.
*****
(The first haiku was inspired by Writer’s Island’s tribute theme. The fourth haiku was inspired by Monday Memories’ friendship theme.)
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Big Bands, Cellos, Childhood Memories, Dancing, Flute Haiku, Friendship, Friendship Haiku, Health Haiku, Health Poetry, Monday Memories, Music Haiku, Nostalgia Haiku, Oboe Haiku, Piano Haiku, Seniors Humor, String Players, Swing, Tribute Bands, Writer's Island
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Dance Humor, Friendship Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health Verse, Music Humor & Verse, Seniors Poetry | 9 Comments »
Friday, March 11th, 2011
I had such a good time with my Clichéd Limerick the other day, I thought I’d write another:
A Fit Over Fiddles
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I hope you don’t think this a nit,
But cliché buffs should surely admit
That we need to part ways
With certain clichés:
Just how often do fiddles sound fit?
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
UPDATE 2: World Fiddle Day falls on the Saturday closest to May 19.
Tags: Cliché Day, Clichés Humor, Fiddle Day, Fiddles, Fitness Limerick, Health & Medical Humor, Language Satire, May Holidays, Music Humor & Verse, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Violins, World Fiddle Day
Posted in Cliché Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Language Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays | 6 Comments »
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
Ghostly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are those who like being a ghost —
Not the dead kind. Who wants to be toast?
I mean writers whose name
Gets no credit (or blame.)
Here’s my problem with that: You can’t boast.
(More ghost and hauntings verse over at Big Tent Poetry’s Thursday Think Tank)
Tags: Authors & Playwrights, Big Tent Poetry, Boasting, Books Humor, Braggart Verse, Bragging, Ghost Writing, Ghosts, haun, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Book Publishing Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 16 Comments »
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
American Idol Not Idyllic (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I watched Idol last night — wasn’t dandy.
They gave compliments out just like candy.
And something is wrong
When with song after song
The toughest of judges is Randy.
(Linked in I Saw Sunday)
Tags: American Idol, Contestants, Fox TV Humor, Idol Judges, Jennifer Lopez, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Randy Jackson, Singing Voice, Steven Tyler, Talent Contests, Television Review
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Contests, Entertainment Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Television (TV) Humor | 9 Comments »
Wednesday, March 9th, 2011
Warning to those here for their daily dose of “funny.” Most of these aren’t. Sorry!
My passionate hunt
for humor in the mundane—
a chastening quest.
*****
Vulgar temptation
haunts, tantalizes, prevails—
beats dainty retreat.
*****
Passionate and raw
feelings too painful to root
escape on breached wings.
*****
Integrity fights
a war against temptation—
battles to a draw.
*****
A thought tempts, glimmers,
says “explore me,” then wings off—
never to return.
*****
Marching to the beat
of your own drum may work best
in solo parades.
*****
To those who ask me
how I remember my verse—
that’s what blogs are for.
*****
Thanks to these prompts for their inspiration: Carry On Tuesday, Haiku Heights, Haiku Wednesday, LoL Prompts, One Single Impression, Poetic Asides, Sunday Scribblings, and Three Word Wednesday.
Tags: Blogging Humor, Creativity, Haiku & Senryu, Inspiration, Integrity, Memory, Mundane, Passion, Temptation, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Creativity Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Memory Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 34 Comments »
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
Limerick Ode To International Women’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I nearly forgot — not sure how —
International Women’s Day — Wow!
It’s the 8th day of March —
Not a day to be arch
Or silly or zany, so Ciao!
Tags: Celebrations Poetry, Feminism Humor, Holiday Humor, International Women's Day, March Holidays, Women Verse
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Feminist Satire, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Social Satire | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
I rarely write poems about science. But Big Tent Poetry got my juices flowing with this article about astronauts, NASA, and clutter at the International Space Station: Here’s the line that got me going:
There is no up or down in space, so clutter adorns almost every surface and is held in place by duct tape, Velcro and metal clips.
Limerick In Free-Fall
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Space Station clutter’s appalling.
Objects long to engage in free-falling.
It take Velcro, clips, tape
To prevent their escape:
My hubby’s fav tools — missed his calling.
(More space verse here.)
Tags: Astronauts, Astronomy Verse, Big Tent Poetry, Clutter Humor, Duct Tape, Household tools, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, NASA, Science Humor, Space Station, Velcro
Posted in House & Home Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Science Humor | 31 Comments »
Monday, March 7th, 2011
I’m playing with clichés today:
Clichéd Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I try to think outside the box,
But sometimes those boxes have locks.
And to break myself free
With creative esprit,
I have to be crazy like fox.
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Tags: Cliché Day, Clichés Humor, Creativity, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Cliché Humor, Creativity Verse, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Writing & Publishing Humor | 8 Comments »
Monday, March 7th, 2011
Raw Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Raw veggies are healthy, they say.
We’re advised to eat tons ev’ry day.
Plus dairy, grains, fruit,
Fish or chicken to boot.
The last two not raw — Hip Hooray!
(Written for the Sunday Scribblings’ raw prompt.)
Tags: Food Groups, Food Limerick, Health Limericks, Nutrition Humor, Raw Vegetables
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 14 Comments »
Sunday, March 6th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who took pride in her style…
or
A man who took pride in his style…
Here’s mine:
Stylish Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who took pride in her style
Had a temper quite terribly vile.
When asked if her dress
Came from Buy It For Less,
Her screams could be heard for a mile.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Bad Behavior, Clothing Poem, Dress Verse, Fashion Verse, Money Poems, Poetry & Prompts, Style Humor, Temper Humor, Temperament Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Fashion Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 55 Comments »
Saturday, March 5th, 2011
I’ve just discovered a new search engine that, believe it or not, does stuff that Google can’t do. It’s the newly launched Greplin, and you can read all about its young founder Daniel Gross here.
So what’s the big deal about Greplin? It indexes and lets you search stuff that’s stored up in the “cloud.” Things like your Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, G-mail, Google Docs, LinkedIn posts, business applications I’m unfamiliar with, etc.
Let’s take its Facebook interface, for instance. Just put a key word or phrase into its search box and up pops a list of your posts (and your friends’ posts) using that word or phrase. I’m finding it so handy, I even wrote this haiku:
Forecast Not Cloudy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Greplin’s great engine
is searching what Google can’t,
and I’m on cloud nine.
Tags: Cloud Computing, Computer Software, Daniel Gross, Facebook, Gmail, Google, Greplin, Internet Humor, Linked-In, Search Engines, Technology Review, Twitter, Web Humor
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Internet Humor, Search Engine Tools, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor, Twitter Humor | 3 Comments »
Saturday, March 5th, 2011
Secret Cache
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow had a secret cache
of coins and stamps and gold.
He planned to sell it off one day
when he became quite old.
That time did come for him at last—
age ninety-three or more.
Alas, he’d thrown his cache box out—
forgot what it was for.
(You can find more of my bad memory humor here. And check out the secret prompt over at Writer’s Island)
Tags: Aging Humor & Verse, Coin Collecting, Collectibles, Forgetfulness, Memory, Money Verse, Secrets, Seniors Humor, Stamp Collections
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Behavior & Personality, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Seniors Poetry | 16 Comments »
Saturday, March 5th, 2011
It makes me fidget,
but I book myself to write
accidental verse.
*****
Accidental glance,
de-liberating romance—
just the dance of chance.
*****
Shocking incident:
things accidentally went
exactly as planned.
*****
Ms. Bristol Palin’s
book contract and dancing gig—
accident of birth.
*****
Booked reservation
at restaurant, but canceled—
had reservations.
*****
If you dare mention
certain odd affinities,
brace for fidgeting.
*****
Tags: Bristol Palin, Drink Verse, Food Haiku, Happy Accidents, One Single Impression, Planning Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Reservations Haiku, Romance Humor, Theme Thursday, Three Word Wednesday, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Haiku
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Books, Celebrity Humor, Creativity Verse, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Haiku, Romance Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 21 Comments »
