Late Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was terribly late…
or
A woman was terribly late…
Here’s mine:
Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was terribly late
To a job meeting key to his fate.
The job seemed a lock
Till he mis-set his clock,
But at least he remembered the date.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Lateness Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Time Humor, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
A fellow was terribly late
When he took his new girl on a date.
He arrived at eleven
When he promised ‘Seven’!
I don’t need to tell you his fate!
A fellow was terribly late
Cause he slept till half past eight
While running for the door
He fell on the floor
Tripping over his child’s errant roller-skate.
A woman was terribly late
To join pickets against Walker’s hate
Of everyone poor
Sick, elderly and more.
It’s time to wipe clean the slate.
A woman was terribly late
which was hell on her obstinate mate
See, he didn’t want a kid
So he flipped his lid
While waiting for her to menstruate.
A fellow was terribly late,
he was rooting for Ohio State,
Duke and Syracuse,
he chose Pittsburgh to lose.
Yes, so far my bracket looks great.
WHEN LATE MEANS NEVER
A fellow was terribly late
Which didn’t sit well with his date
“My promise of heaven
Was valid at seven
But promptly expired at eight”
I’m enjoying your limericks. Please keep them coming!
A woman was terribly late,
And began to ponder her fate.
“If I’m pregnant again,
I’m swearing off men!
From now on I’ll just masturbate!”
A fellow was terribly late
Changing Libyans’ national fate
‘Til he’d called evr’y chit in
From Germany, Britain,
Arabia, France and Kuwait.
A man, always terribly late,
had a problem in finding a mate.
His habit incurable
made life unendurable
as he was past his sell-by date.
A woman was terribly late
when starting to look for a mate;
without leaving the house,
a few clicks of the mouse,
she was soon on an internet date.
More delightful limericks. Thanks, and please keep them coming in!
A fellow was terribly late
pissing off the girl he made wait
she got her just due
when he went to the loo
by updating her status: Small dick. Not great.
blog: Linda Sands
A fellow was terribly late
So he shovelled the food on his plate
His manners were dismal
And with no Pepto Bismol
All he does now is regurgitate
A fellow was terribly late,
at his age he still longed for a date,
frequently he did try,
though more often he’d cry,
“Man’s not a chap til getting a mate!”
A fellow was terribly late
Having died in the midst of his date,
Leaving diners aghast
At the lurid repast,
As his date polished off ev’ry plate.
A woman was terribly late
A deplorable character trait
She took her sweet time
‘Cause it felt so sublime
To watch as her mate turned irate
A fellow was terriby late
At perceiving that he had gained weight
But found out with fright
When he booked a flight
And the airline just shipped him as freight.
A fellow was terribly late
understanding the current debate.
When told that inflation
Would ruin the nation
He said, “Are we all overweight?”
Could you possibly change the second line on the first of the above to “At perceiving that he had gained weight”? I didn’t proofread enough befor posting.
I fixed it Granny Smith.
Fun limericks, everyone. Please keep them coming. You have the entire week. :)
And “each” to “ev’ry” in line 5 of mine above, please.
A fellow was terribly late
avoiding his great twist of fate.
His stomach, he knew
did not have the flu.
Twas a bad case of something he ate.
Edmund, I made your change.
A fellow was terribly late
And starving while casting his bait
So he was enraptured
to find he had captured
A mermaid – whom he promptly ate.
Here is a Linked Limerick, using my last entry. Thank you, Madeleine, for showing me the way
A fellow was terribly late
And starving while casting his bait
So he was enraptured
to find he had captured
A mermaid – whom he promptly ate.
The fellow was terribly late
At digesting the dinner he ate.
His stomach arumble
He heard his meal grumble,
“He could have just asked for a date!”
Hi Mad, thanks for the prompt! Here’s mine:
A fellow was terribly late
his china plates all had to wait.
He ordered a seat
for his plates of meat,
then said he had already ate.
A fellow was terribly late
For a rather IMPORTANT date!
Though due to be wed,
He’d tarried to bed
A bridesmaid, her first cousin Kate!
I’m really enjoying these! Thanks everyone! Please keep them coming. You have until Sunday afternoon before I pick the next Limerick of the Week out of your submissions.
A woman was terribly late
For her first in this century date
She later confessed
She skipped getting dressed
And just skyped in her natural state.
A fellow was terribly late
And that blunder would alter his fate;
What an awkward cab ride
Down to get his tubes tied;
His bride rode astride (couldn’t wait)
A fellow was terribly late
For a Chem class that he’d come to hate
In the Chem lab, resuming
His tests, he was fuming.
He still couldn’t concentrate.
Oh good! More fun limericks!
A woman was terribly late
After laying the friend of her mate
If pregnant with child
Would drive her so wild
She’d prefer that death be her fate
Thanks again to all of you for your delightful submissions. I’ve just posted a Limerick of the Week winner and three Honorable Mentions chosen from these delightful limericks. Congratulations to everyone!
I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off here — Shy Limerick.