Archive for February, 2011
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
It’s Time To Tanka Beethoven
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The King’s Speech film score
gets Desplat an Oscar nod,
but poor Beethoven
is overlooked once again—
He needs a new publicist.
NOTE: Alexandre Desplat’s Oscar-nominated score for The King’s Speech is dominated by the music of Ludwig van Beethoven, specifically Beethoven’s 7th Symphony and Beethoven’s Piano Concerto No. 5, the Emperor Concerto. For more information on Beethoven’s frequent appearance in film scores, read Why Beethoven Deserves An Oscar.
Tags: Alexandre Desplat, Beethoven Piano Concertos, Beethoven Symphonies, Entertainment, Film Scores, Films, Ludwig van Beethoven, Movie & Play Humor, Movie Reviews, Music Humor & Verse, Music Tanka, Oscars, Tanka, The King's Speech
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Contests, Movie & Play Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Oscars Humor, Tanka | 3 Comments »
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a scold…
or
A man who was rather a scold…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Scold
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was rather a scold
Berated her spouse o’er his cold:
“You’re sick all the time
Without rhythm or rhyme,
And your illness is getting quite old.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Health Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 45 Comments »
Saturday, February 26th, 2011
Since I already wrote a limerick review of the Fighter, I wasn’t planning to post on that topic again. Even Melissa Leo’s “Consider” her for an Oscar photo campaign wasn’t enough to get me writing. Though for the record, I think she looks great in those pics and I’m rooting for her.
Actually, now that I’m on the subject, here’s a message to Leo critics who fault her for showing herself in a more physically attractive light: You’re being sexist. Freedom of choice is a feminist ideal. So if Melissa Leo chooses to look glamorous and sexy for a change, that’s just fine with me. More power to her!
But back to what prompted this post. Carry On Tuesday’s saved by the bell prompt got me thinking about boxers, which reminded me of the Fighter and inspired this limerick:
Saved By The Bell
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The boxer was saved by the bell
After being in boxing match hell.
He needed a break.
That’s all it would take:
That sound ere he once again fell.
(Also for I Saw Sunday.)
UPDATE: Congratulations Melissa Leo on your Oscar! I knew you could f…ing do it.
Tags: Boxers, Carry On Tuesday, Entertainment Limerick, Feminism, Films, Glamour Shots, Melissa Leo, Movie & Play Humor, Movie Reviews, Oscars, Sexism, The Fighter
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Contests, Entertainment Humor, Feminist Satire, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor, Oscars Humor, Physical Appearance, Public Figures, Sports Humor | 10 Comments »
Saturday, February 26th, 2011
String quartet concert
missing one violinist—
time to improvise.
*****
Cruising musician
garners Carnegie Hall gig—
fantasy at sea.
*****
Distracted jazzer
misplaces his melodies—
loses audience.
****
Clueless conductor
hurls baton at oboist—
finally a cue.
*****
Billy Joel said:
We Didn’t Start The Fire.
Maybe we need to.
*****
(My first and third haiku were inspired by The Writer’s Island improvise prompt. My second haiku was inspired by Haiku Wednesday’s fantasy prompt. My late addition 5th haiku was inspired by Sunday Scribblings’ fire prompt.)
Tags: Billy Joel, Carnegie Hall, Classical Music Humor, Conductors Humor, Fantasies, Fire, Haiku & Senryu, Haiku Wednesday, Improvising, Jazz Pianist, Music Haiku, Music Humor & Verse, Musical Verse, Oboe Humor, Orchestra Musicians, String Players, Sunday Scribblings, Writer's Island
Posted in Creativity Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Music Humor & Verse | 25 Comments »
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
When I heard that the February 27th prompt over at One Single Impression is vellicate, I knew I was in trouble. Why? Cuz I had no idea what it meant and how it’s pronounced. And even after I’d Googled the damn word, it still didn’t feel assimilated. Plus it just didn’t tickle my funny bone.
But though I was irritated by its unfamiliarity, I was itching to write a limerick. So here it is:
Itching To Write A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Often poetry prompts can enrich.
But they sometimes can be quite a bitch.
Sunday’s vellicate prompt
On my brain cells has stomped.
The mere thought of that word makes me twitch.
Tags: Creativity, One Single Impression, Poetry & Prompts, Word Play Humor, Writer's Block, Writing Prompts
Posted in Creativity Verse, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Wordplay, Writing & Publishing Humor | 18 Comments »
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Every so often I break into tanka:
Acidic Tanka
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pithy recipe:
Turn lemons to lemonade.
Don’t mean to be tart,
Acid, ill-natured, sour—
But sugarcoating’s tasteless.
(Prompted by lemon prompt over at Poets United.)
UPDATE: August 20th is National Lemonade Day.
Tags: Advice, Annoying Advice, Aphorism Humor, August Holidays, Lemonade, Lemons, Maxims, National Lemonade Day, Odd Holidays, Optimism, Pessimism, Poets United, Tanka, Writing Prompts
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Aphorisms, Odd Holidays, Self-Help Humor, Tanka | 7 Comments »
Thursday, February 24th, 2011
Dear Prattlers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear prattlers, I beg you — stop talking.
If you don’t, I’ll escape. Watch — I’m walking.
I have pains in each joint,
As I wait for your point.
Oh my no! It’s insurance you’re hawking?
Update: June 28 is National Insurance Awareness Day.
Tags: Bores, Insurance Humor, June Holidays, Letter Poems, National Insurance Awareness Day, Odd Holidays, Prattle, Talkative, Theme Thursday, Write A Letter Wednesday
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Communication Humor, Insurance Humor, Letter Limericks, Limericks, Odd Holidays | 11 Comments »
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011
The task at hand over at Three Word Wednesday is to write a poem using these three words: Figure, Juicy, and Stress. I enjoyed the mental exercise and wrote this limerick:
If Only Life Were That Simple
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When I’m feeling a bit under stress
And I figure my life’s in a mess,
If I read something juicy
Or play some Debussy,
My problems are quick to egress.
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Debussy, Juicy Novels, Mental Health, Music, Simple Life, Stress Humor, Three Word Wednesday
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Minimalist Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011
Each year our calendars are jam-packed with weird, oddball holidays created, presumably, by equally weird people. Since I’m just as odd as the next person, I figure I’m entitled to invent one too … assuming I can come up with something strange that isn’t already taken.
Anyway, while scrolling through several calendars specializing in bizarre holidays, I noticed a startling omission. Apparently, nobody’s thought to invent All My Gizmos Are Working Day. That is, until now.
So with the powers vested in me as a member in good standing of the New York State Bar, I hereby declare March 2, 2011 to be the first annual All My Gizmos Are Working Day.
As you might expect, I’m commemorating this spanking new holiday with a limerick. But before I get to my verse, let me first acknowledge that most people won’t be able to really celebrate All My Gizmos Are Working Day on March 2nd. In fact, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to enjoy it either.
Why not? Because I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t have at least one broken gadget — a kitchen appliance, TV, DVD player, stereo, land line, cell phone, computer, e-book reader, MP3 player, etc. At least one electronic thingamajig is always misbehaving.
But hope springs eternal, right? So here’s my celebratory limerick:
Limerick Ode To All My Gizmos Are Working Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
All My Gizmos Are Working Day’s here.
March 2nd’s that day of good cheer.
If, alas, you’re disgusted
Cuz something is busted,
Try again on March 2nd next year.
(Inspired by Big Tent’s anti-holiday prompt.)
UPDATE: I’ve learned that March 26th is Make up your own Holiday Day.
Tags: All My Gizmos Are Working Day, Broken Gadgets Verse, Calendar Humor, Computer Verse, Gadget Humor, Gizmos, Holiday Satire, Law Humor, Limerick, Make Up Your Own Holiday Day, March Holidays, Odd Holidays, Technology Limerick, Weird Celebrations
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Computer Humor, Holiday Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Weird News Snark | 22 Comments »
Monday, February 21st, 2011
Somebody please explain to me why Facebook invented and retains the stupid Poke feature. In the meantime, here’s my A Poke In The Facebook limerick.
A Poke In The Facebook
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Facebook friends, please do not poke.
I don’t care if you’re female or bloke.
If you’ve something to say,
Use the commenting way.
Or message me. Pokes are a joke.
Tags: Communication Humor, Facebook Humor, Facebook Limerick, Facebook Pokes, Social Networking Humor, Technology Verse
Posted in Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Limericks, Social Media Humor, Technology Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, February 21st, 2011
Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Tags: Aging, Arms, Career Poem, Dance Classes, Dancing Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health, Husband Wife Haiku, Legs Humor, Mood Humor, Rumba, Safety Verse, Workplace Poetry
Posted in Clumsiness Humor, Dance Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Leisure Time Humor, Lessons Haiku, Mental Health Humor, Personal, Relationship Haiku, Relationship Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 32 Comments »
Monday, February 21st, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was trying to write. …
or
A fellow was trying to write. …
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Writerly Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was trying to write.
Ev’ry sentence and phrase was a fight.
She hated each line.
Too much whine. (Too much wine?)
And decided to call it a night.
She started again the next day.
But her muse seemed to be on delay.
So she showered and walked.
Inspiration still balked.
Though agnostic, she started to pray.
She returned to her screen with a curse.
Started typing for better or worse.
Tried to block her left brain,
Or her right, or the twain.
Then punched keys till at last she found verse.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Creativity, Inspiration, Muse, Poetry & Prompts, Writer's Block, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Writing & Publishing Humor | 37 Comments »
Friday, February 18th, 2011
Nervous newcomer
slips and falls onto deep snow.
Makes bad impression.
*****
Valiant croci
strain to push through snow’s surface.
All retreat but one.
*****
My tossed-aside snow
returns to the cleared sidewalk.
An icy revenge.
(The first haiku is for the Haiku Heights impression prompt and the second one is for I Saw Sunday.)
Tags: Clumsiness Humor, Crocus, Haiku & Senryu, Seasonal Verse, Snow Verse, Spring Harbinger, Weather Poetry, Winter Humor
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Haiku & Senryu, Outdoors Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 7 Comments »
Friday, February 18th, 2011
Edgy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
His cash flow had put him on edge,
And he needed a day to just veg.
He was stressed to the max
Over real estate tax,
And could not even fund his new hedge.
(Lots Of Laughter edge prompt)
Tags: Anxiety Humor, Cash Flow Humor, Gardening Humor, Hedge Funds, Home Limerick, Money Verse, Real Estate, Stress Humor, Tax Poetry
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, House & Home Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Real Estate Humor, Tax & IRS Satire | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
Over the years I’ve written enough humor columns, limericks, and sundry light verse to fill two or three collections. And one of these days I may even get my act together, stop procrastinating and self-publish at least one of them. I mention this because Big Tent Poetry’s latest prompt urges us to come up with a name for a future book and then write a title poem for that non-existent book.
Yes, I know this is Sheer Madness, which is also the title of my non-existent humor collection:
Sheer Madness
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m hoping to publish a book
With an excellent concept and hook.
It’s title? Sheer Madness,
Reviewed please sans badness,
Sold on paper and Kindle and Nook.
Tags: Book Reviewers Verse, Book Title Humor, Creativity, E-Books, Humor Book, Madness Humor, Procrastination Verse, Publishing Limerick, Self-Publishing, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Book Publishing Humor, Books, Creativity Verse, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Kindle Humor, Limericks, Procrastination Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | 27 Comments »
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011
My memory is so bad, that when I spotted the upcoming memory prompt at Haiku Heights I forgot the obvious — that the prompt was for haiku. Ah well, here’s my Bad Memory Limerick:
Bad Memory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My mem’ry is bad — getting worse.
It’s a failing I constantly curse.
I forget what I’ve done,
People’s names, whom to shun.
Now what was the theme of this verse?
(For those who can actually remember something, here’s a spot to post your memories in verse.)
Tags: Aging Limerick, Forgetfulness, Memory Limerick, Mental Health Satire, Poetry Prompt, Remembering Names, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Light Verse, Limericks, Memory Humor, Mental Health Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 10 Comments »
Monday, February 14th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman was on a campaign…
Here’s mine:
Healthy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was on a campaign
Which was driving her fam’ly insane.
Yes, her new “smart health” diet
Kept causing a riot:
Each dinner she served featured brain.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Diet Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Food Humor, Food Verse, Health Limerick, Obsession Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 35 Comments »
Saturday, February 12th, 2011
Epiphany (Tanka)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My muse teases me,
Awaiting epiphanies
That never arrive.
So I must go it alone,
Writing until I’m amused.
(Note: Tanka is five line Japanese poetry which pre-dates haiku and whose syllabic form is 5-7-5-7-7. I usually think of it as haiku plus two more 7 syllable lines. My Epiphany Tanka was inspired by the Writers Island epiphany prompt.)
Tags: Creativity, Epiphanies, Inspiration, Japanese Poetry, Muse, Tanka, Writer's Block, Writing & Publishing Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Creativity Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms, Poetry Rules, Tanka, Writing & Publishing Humor | 14 Comments »
Thursday, February 10th, 2011
Poetry prompts can serve up everything from fun inspiration to unsettling memories. For instance, the shadows prompt courtesy of Poets United Thursday Think Tank brought back a wistful early childhood memory of my late father Ernest Begun and Robert Louis Stevenson’s A Child’s Garden of Verses. More specifically, the two of us reciting my favorite childhood poem, My Shadow.
I’m certain that the many hours we spent poring over that Stevenson volume had lots to do with my own versifying. And so, this haiku:
Robert Stevenson’s
I have a little shadow…
My dad’s knee at three.
Tags: Childhood Memories, Children's Poetry, Father, Haiku & Senryu, Inspiration, My Shadow, Parents, Poetry & Prompts, Poets United, Robert Louis Stevenson
Posted in Family Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Personal, Poetry & Prompts | 12 Comments »
