Grating Limerick
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose voice is quite grating…
Here’s mine:
Grating Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
And is overly fond of debating,
Often argues with friends
And he always offends,
So his dates never make it to mating.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Tags: Argumentative Verse, Battle of the Sexes, Communication Humor, Friendship, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Liked to keep his friends waiting.
He’d be fashionably late
even with tax due dates.
Now the IRS has him gyrating.10 minutes ago · Like.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Could curl hair with his berating
He’d yell at the girls
Who’d develop such curls
That it looked like their locks they’d been plaiting
A fellow whose voice was quite grating
Couldn’t stop his message of hating
He was the king
Of this horrible thing
Playing the game of race-baiting
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Always drew a blank while dating…
His voice was one of a kind
Made all the girls change their mind
For a deaf woman, he is still waiting.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Now anchors Fox News–Arg! The hating!
He lies ’til he’s blue
And cries fake tears on cue
I’m baffled by his high Q-rating!
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Took the stage with some comic relating
Gilbert’s his name
“AFLAC!” gave him fame
Now he can stop masturbating.
These limericks are fun. Please keep them coming. Thanks!
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
is a pill and quite irritating.
He blathers about
the grey elephant snout
and in a rush is caught masturbating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Always found it a drawback in dating.
Says his maiden Aunt Ruth,
It began in his youth,
When he spent too much time on call waiting.
…
[Wait. What did you think it was going to be?]
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
has problems with communicating.
So he puts words in writing,
they’re much more inviting,
to his readers who sit contemplating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
was otherwise devastating.
He wowed all the girls
with his Byronesque curls
and left them all palpitating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Had a sex doll that he was inflating
He said, “What’s your sign?”
And she said, “What a whine!”
Now he’s back to just…well, you know…
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Cleared the floor when dancing or skating.
Where he went, people ran
All the way to Japan;
His trick worked thought the man celebrating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
is actually quite innovating.
It is such a misnomer,
To call Jim Neighbors, Gomer.
When he sings he is smooth and sedating.
I’m really enjoying these! Thanks, and please keep them coming!
A fellow whose voice was quite grating
To his wife who was near dialating
Shouted, “Breath in, breath out!”
Spouted she, “You loud lout!
You can kiss goodbye more procreating!”
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
found a nice young lady quit infatuating.
He started her to court
And found her such a good sport,
That their relationship now, they are consummating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
was cranky whenever kept waiting.
When he started to shout,
they kicked him right out
to the cheers of those he was berating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Is known for his crazy conflating
But I say it’s the drink
He says it’s only rarely (wink wink)
But how else to explain his constant misstating?
Weeper says Obama is so frustrating
I say it’s the booze sublimating
Just watch – don’t blink
Until the ice cubes clink
Now we’ll see some wild gesticulating!
He cries when his ego’s inflating
He cries when other stuff is deflating
He smokes with his drink
Turns the place into stink
Thank God he’s done procreating
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Thought his singing would spice up his dating:
“If I sing and we dance off,
I might get her pants off – ”
But sadly, he’s had no luck mating.
warning: grossness to follow
A fellow whose voice is quite grating,
kept all of the other guys waiting.
They did the pee dance,
nearly pissed in their pants,
while he sat on the stool defecating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Will not know the pleasure of dating.
When the girls hear his rasp,
They clear out of town fast –
Leaving him all alone, masturbating.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Has a resume he’s always updating
All his co-workers agonize
So “by one” companies downsize
And the perfect at-home, online job is still waiting.
A fellow whose voice is quite grating
Could not find a girl to be dating.
He became quite forlorn
Cause he could not be bourn.
So he just stayed home masturbating.
Wow! What a fun selection of limericks. I’m enjoying them and hope you’ll keep them coming. Thanks!