Oh, Drat!
I’m in a terrible mood from yesterday’s election. And trust me — my cursing vocabulary most definitely doesn’t include the word drat.
Oh, Drat! (Oh, Drat Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When someone’s upset and says, “Drat,”
The word sounds appallingly flat.
Such a mealy-mouth curse!
So genteel — I’m averse.
Kindly try to swear better than that.
Tags: Communication Humor, Cursing Limerick, Expletive Humor, Language Satire, Swearing Verse
Oh, Drat they say all over town
The Dems look so dismal and down.
But out in the West,
The Dems did the best
especially that bald headed fellow Jerry Brown.
If you find yourself dispossessed
Over every “drat” that is expressed
Consider the value
Of a brilliant haiku
Or a well-placed “f**k it” in protest.
I’ll never again say ‘drat,’
for it never suggests where I’m at
in my angered emotions,
deep sometimes like oceans.
Instead I’ll use tittily-tat.
Love it! So veddy, veddy, bracingly British, as the best ones are. Reminds me of a rollicking, ribald, raunchy (okay I warned you, and also apologize to anyone who will be offended) classic:
King James gave a lesson in class
One evening while sexing a lass;
When the lady said “Damn!”
King Jimmy said: “Ma’am,
Keep a more civil tongue in my ass.”
These are all great fun. Thanks!
A cuss word used in the right place,
will often times help make your case.
But if you swear all the time,
in public, or rhyme,
you’re a piece of s*#@, f*%#ng disgrace!
Don’t worry ’bout me ’bout that!
I hardly ever say drat
Just like Norman Mailer
I swear like a sailor
When it’s politics cuz I’m Democrat
It started with Ol’ Poppy Bush
I couldn’t stand seeing his moosh
When he came on TV
I’d run to take a pee
I couldn’t sit still on my tush!
It’s gotten worse year by year
Especially when it came to Juyer
He made me so mad
I’d swear loud and bad!
My mother shed many a tear!
I can say only “the fix is in”
Our country is straight ‘publikin’
We’re now SO up the creek
The eagle’s clipped–wings AND beak
Due to media’s propaganda and lyin’!
“Drat” sounds so silly anymore
Would it work regarding, say, football scores?
I know just what we’d hear
After the men’d been drinking beer
Our virgin ears we’d never restore.
(Yeah, as if a virgin anything is ever restored. teehee)
Barack is blamed, for Bush blunders,
by the rich T-party funders
and the revolt they led
for Obama’s black head
blurs their own sins and their plunders.
And if that does not make you curse,
throw-up and shout this is much worse
than a stick in the eye
by that that George Bush guy
and we have two years till reverse…
The Mad One is off on a cruise,
filled with laughter, sunshine and booze.
Hosted by Lewis Black,
but soon she’ll be back,
to regale, entertain and amuse.