Frazzled Limerick 
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
A frazzled new father named Jim
Was expecting a ‘her,’ not a ‘him’
But when baby came out
With a special male spout
‘Twas clear they could not name it ‘Mim’
A frazzled new father named Jim
Noticed his wife had gotten less trim
He felt real betrayed
Cuz he wanted to get laid
Without out waiting for her to get back from the gym.
A frazzled new father named Jim
Had married Lulu – a bim
They had this here kid
But the Dad’s feelings slid
Cause it sure didn’t look much like him.
A frazzled new father named Jim
He took his young son for a swim
As he jumped in the pool
He looked like a fool
As his kid breaststroked right past him
A frazzled new father named Jim
Is pretty much out on a limb
He changed his tot’s diaper
But neglected to wipe her
Now that’s one stinky gross seraphim
A frazzled new father named Jim
Was worn out and feeling so grim
With no time for eating
His health took a beating
His friends are now calling him Slim
His wife is the happy breadwinner
In love with her job at McZinner
She yells “honey I’m home”
Plays with baby Jerome
While poor frazzled Jim makes her dinner
What fun limericks! Please keep them coming. Thanks!
A frazzeled new father named Jim
Left town with police after him
He ran with a start
Breaking sweet mommies heart
Not thinking he had committed a sin
He dodged the police on the run
While running he had him some fun
The father was found
tied up and quite bound
With mommy beating “the crap” out of him.
A frazzled new father named Jim
Decked out in a hat with a brim
Rode up to the wrong floor
Raced into Room 54
And shocked an old patient named Tim
The old senile geezer screamed “MOSES
Some stranger just bluntly imposes!”
Jim stammered and muttered
And nervously stuttered
“H-here I br-brought you some roses”
A frazzled new father named Jim,
Is backwards and really quite dim.
He diapers his pet,
Takes his kid to the vet,
And puts on his clothes for a swim
A frazzled new father named Jim
was losing his vigor and vim
he’d keep a dry eye on
his unruly scion
but ended up wetter than him
[if you’ve done the 2 a.m. changing — you know]
A frazzled new father named Jim
Had diapers right up to his brim
In air that was stinky
He poked with his pinky
He did not know poop was so grim
A frazzled new father named Jim,
had a son not yet diapered by him.
When Mom had gone out,
he just gave a shout…
to “grandma”, but, she was not dim….
Grandma explained to dear “Dad”,
that results could often be had,
when little ones are dry,
” ’cause they probably won’t cry…
All that poop then won’t seem very bad!”
A frazzled new father named Jim
Favored lullabies proper and prim;
While cradling gently,
He’d pucker intently
And whistle a Methodist hymn.
A frazzled new father named Jim,
was trying to stay fit and trim.
He ran ’round the block
with the baby in her frock
and a stroller that could keep up with him.
The neighbor kids gave him the chase
to see if the baby named “Grace”
would cough up her chow
if they stopped him awhile
and momentum throws milk in his face.
A frazzled new father named Jim
Fell down on the ice, broke a limb
Now he’s strapped to a board
In a hospital ward
While the nurses make fun of him
…
Soon the morphine and gravol will pass
Through his veins bye-bye pain bye-bye gas
Yet he stares at the ceiling
How embarrassed he’s feeling
That he slipped and fell flat on his ass
Oh good! Lots more fun limericks! Thanks, and please keep them coming!
A frazzled new father named Jim,
Was sapped of his vigor and vim.
He had himself snipped
Because he was whipped
And feared another babe might do him in.
I love these limericks! I think that anything that can introduce some humor into parenting is a great thing. Thanks so much for bringing a smile to this mom’s day ;D