Late Limerick 
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was late for his train…
Here’s mine, and my audio version is here. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was late for his train.
Being tardy was always his bane.
In his youth and his prime
He was rarely on time,
Which drove his whole fam’ly insane.
After years of his lateness, his mate
Lost her mind — she was way past irate.
Using all of her might
She beat him for spite.
Now that fellow’s eternally late.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Tags: Bad Habits Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Lateness Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Time Verse, Trains, Transportation, Writing Prompts
very funny Madeleine!
A fellow was late for his train.
A car wreck was blocking his lane.
Stuck on the Van Wyck,
So he wrote limericks,
And sent them to Madeleine Kane.
A fellow was late for his train
for reasons not hard to explain
he’d gotten that spaced look
while staring at Facebook
and the Wall cast a pall on his brain
A fellow was late for his train
For a cause that is hard to explain:
Some Haitian black magic
Had results weird and tragic –
A zombie was eating his brain.
A fellow was late for his train
due to a marital strain
his wife picked a fight
and they argued all night
and now he must walk in the rain
A fellow was late for his train
His ankle had suffered a sprain
He limped on the platform
Til he turned into a cat form
Harry Potter I think was his name.
Now, I know that last word didn’t rhyme
I wrote this without taking the time
To think it all through
Before writing to you
I hope that you’ll all be real kind.
…(Oops). ;^)
A fellow was late for his train,
Which was hardly his only bane.
But, though missing his pants,
The absent train was his chance
To go home and start his day again.
*
A fellow was late for his train
And sure to be later for his plane.
At this bad luck he cursed,
Then rehearsed and rehearsed
What he’d say to his waiting bride Jane.
A fellow was late for his train
So he decided to take a plane
The airport was too far
so he ran out of gas in the car
now the poor guy is stuck in Maine
A fellow was late for his train.
Cause the road was flooded in the rain
He parked his car on a side
Chanced his luck on a MRT ride
But in the flood fell down the drain.
He hurt his leg and was in pain
But started walking on the side lane.
He wanted to reach at any cost
But his bearings he had lost
All his heroics were in vain.
He missed the train in the rain
And stood up his girlfriend named Jane
By now Jane was really mad
And the fellow got it bad
As he groveled before her again and again.
‘You are putting our relationship in strain’
Said Ms. Jane to this man named Shane
‘If you are late once more
I’ll surly show you the door
So never be late again, Is that plain.’
Thanks very much, Scott! And thanks everyone for your fun limericks. Please keep them coming!
A fellow was late for his train,
As he wondered just how to explain
His non-matching shoes,
The lipstick, the bruise,
And the really conspicuous stain.
A fellow was late for his train…
He muttered, “Well! Where is my brain?!!”
“If I run to the ferry,
(since there’s nothing to carry),…
I’ll get there with minutes to gain!!!”
(second stanza):
But as luck would have it, the train,
was chased by a mix’d greyhound-great dane.
The dog leaped aboard
popped the railway switchboard,
and derailing, it fell in the Seine.
(third):
The Seine was never a river
that witnessed as clever a maneuver
as the man swam away
from the ferry that day
when the train fell on top from above’r!
A fellow was late for his train
To his wife – he would have to explain
He slept to long
He knew it was wrong
His attempts to wake up were in vain
Actually, excuse me all, but I’d rather break from the rhyme in the fifth line of the last verse because it sounds better like this:
The Seine was never a river
that witnessed as clever a maneuver:
When the man swam away
from the ferry that day,
the ferry was crushed by the train!
(Or should I put: “AS the ferry was crushed by the train!” ??? You tell me!
Marie, breaking from the rhyme in the fifth line is such a no-no, that I can’t even think about the rhythmic choices you ask about. :)
But the real problem is that almost nothing rhymes with river. You need to rhyme both syllables because of the accent on the first syllable of river. So, for instance, liver rhymes with river, but maneuver and above’r don’t.
So you might want to restructure your entire last verse so that the first line ends with a word that has a lot more potential rhymes. Perhaps end that first line with Seine, if nothing better comes to mind.
Okay!! Thank you Madeleine, you are so helpful!!
So, here again is my rewrite of verse 3:
The Seine was a river that never
had witnessed a fellow so clever:
As that guy took a dive,
remaining alive –
the train crushed the ferry forever!
All together now:
A fellow was late for his train…
He muttered, “Well! Where is my brain?!!”
“If I run to the ferry,
(since there’s nothing to carry),…
I’ll get there with minutes to gain!!!”
But as luck would have it, the train,
was chased by a mix’d greyhound-great dane.
The dog leaped aboard
popped the railway switchboard,
and derailing, it fell in the Seine.
The Seine was a river that never
had witnessed a fellow so clever:
As that guy took a dive,
remaining alive –
the train crushed the ferry forever!
i love reading those limericks…
You’re welcome, Marie. Glad you enjoy them Ms Pie. Hope to see one from you. :)
Thanks everyone, and please keep your fun limericks coming.
A fellow was late for a train
cause schedules never stayed in his brain
So he called for a taxi,
swore never to be lacksy-
daisical about time-tables again.
A fellow was late for his train.
He tried to catch it in vain.
As it pulled out of the station,
he summoned determination,
and hooked the caboose with his cane.
His feet flew behind him in the air,
He suddenly felt he could fly anywhere!
Although in this style,
he might not last a mile,
The thrill sure surpassed any care!
The next curve the train leaned to slow,
His feet then had nowhere to go…
Bouncing hard off the track,
he flew up over the back,
to a landing while stubbing his toe…..
Incredible though it may seem,
like sliding off a moonbeam,
he fell on top of the train,
in a car full of grain
to find out it was only a dream!
A fellow was late for his train
This meant standing alone in the rain
‘Til a lass came along
Singing a sunny song
Now they ride together, again and again.
A fellow was late for his train
Because he had his job on the brain
Schedules, plans and ideas
Gave him horrible diarrhea
“Can’t miss work!” was his sorrowful refrain.
A fellow was late for his train —
Which got his boss angry again
“You’re such a good worker
And really no shirker
But your tardiness drives me insane!”
A fellow was late for his train
And decided from work to refrain
So he set as his goal
To find his old pole
And go fishing in Lake Pontchartrain
A fellow was late for his train
Which could earn him a work record stain
So he said he was sick
(A lie that would stick)
And curled up with a Mickey Spillane
A fellow was late for his train
Cuz his car wouldn’t start in the rain
See, he made his boss money
In weather quite sunny
But was a bit of a foul weather pain