Limerick Teaser
It’s time for another Limerick-Off. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An attractive but cold-hearted tease…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Teaser
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could manipulate fellows with ease.
She’d always get favors
In all sorts of flavors.
The guys? They got naught but the freeze.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Males and Females, Men and Women Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Was known to be fresh as the breeze
But she mostly went home
And wept, all alone
For she never could find a main squeeze!
An attractive but cold-hearted tease…
Was always completely at ease
Butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth
…But as her boobs headed south
She learnsd it’s her turn to say, “Please.”
An attractive but cold-hearted tease…
Thought she was quite the bees’ knees
After a vodka and Squirt
She’d dance with a flirt
Then dump him after a peck and a squeeze
An attractive but cold hearted tease
One day let out a really big sneeze
The goo, it did drop
And made quite a slop
Her admirers left quickly exclaiming “geeze!”
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Outshined all the girls in Belize
But when a gal named Consuelo
Hit on her fellow
Now she’s wondering where he’s
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Had guys chasing her like the fleas
When a guy named Black Bart
Upset her cart
She’s now washing floors on her knees
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
Bedded everyone she net with ease.
And thus she went on
Just wouldn’t leave guys alone
And she ended up with a social disease.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
brought all the boys to their knees
But as time likes to fly
She kissed her looks goodbye
And now she’s fresh out of He’s
An attractive but cold hearted tease,
heard impassioned suitors pleas
to give them a sample
of bosoms quite ample
she kept for her girl friend Louise.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease..
She had a scary disease
When the word got out
The men started to shout
And she no longer had any quickies!
An attractive, cold-hearted tease
Makes all men get down on their knease.
If they try to run
Before she is dun,
She throws away the goddamn kease.
Fun limericks! Thanks, and please keep them coming.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Looked good in her tight-fitting Lee’s
But I saw her today
She is haggard and gray
And fatter than Dom deLuise
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Feared a sexually transmitted disease;
When she said, “Come and see me
For things warm and steamy,”
She meant macaroni & cheese.
– OR –
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Brought many a man to his knees
But denied the entreaties
Of all of her sweeties,
And turned a deaf ear on their pleas.
More fun limericks! Thanks, and please keep them coming.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
With a fetish for Vieux Boulogne Cheese,
Slipped his hand in his pocket
To fire up his rocket
But the fumes made the womenfolk wheeze.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Wrapped men round her finger with ease.
And then she met John
Now her heart’s all but gone
But his only interest is cheese.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Was stoic when I began to wheeze.
Later at the ER,
I read her text from a bar,
Which said, “At least you don’t have a disease.”
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Got me to disrobe with breathtaking ease.
I was promptly handcuffed,
Just as soon rebuffed,
And stripped of my clothes, cash, and car keys.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
Due to, um, hard times was raising her fees.
However far from nice
She’s still worth the price,
Though could charge more with a unibrow tweeze.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Is known to frolic in multiple leas.
She prances sans clothes
Which is great, I suppose,
Despite her troubling allergy to bees.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Seduced the French and then the Chinese,
Into a fierce fight
Over which team just might
Be the most creative in cooking with peas.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Might not see the forest for the trees.
Pandering for votes,
Lining cash in their coats,
Politicos gain when they appease.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Was stunned to be beset by fleas.
To treat the vermin
He begged his friend Herman,
Who killed the patient, thus the disease.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
Known to most as “Giselle” or “Geez,”
Had me in her arms
Poised to dole out her charms,
Then said, “You stink, let me get the Febreze.”
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
At climax was known to shout “Oh, Geez!”
Which woke a neighbor
In the throes of labor,
Who cried, “I’m sick of your ‘me, me, me’s’!”
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
A touched groupie I’ll call Louise,
Began a one night stand,
With three boys from the band,
Who were tired, but asked for a reprise.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
Found it easy to go from squeeze to squeeze.
But the tables were turned
When she was spurned
While trying to bed both Luke and Louise.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Was finally no one but Leigh’s.
But once two-months hitched
Leigh was soon ditched,
Treated like yesterday’s news, dregs, or lees.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Would screw you but not bless a sneeze.
He is hot and ruthless,
Destined to be toothless,
For every chance at dessert he’ll seize.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Stood still at seeing her favored frieze.
And not only that
She wore only a hat
Bringing the throngs to drop to their knees.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Feels compelled to lure all whom he sees,
Then discard them like trash
Or a niggling rash,
Spurring some to take a whack at his knees.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Was content to entice but displease,
Putting me in a state
Apt to ululate
Or resigned to get off watching Drew Brees.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Beckoned me to get on my knees.
I quickly complied
But she scoffed, then hied
To an emergency tryst overseas.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could cut a rug but also the cheese.
She denied the latter,
Despite knowing chatter,
Blaming others or the easterly breeze.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Said, “You can look but can’t touch these.”
So I looked and looked,
While my insides cooked,
Before entreating, “Just once, pretty please?”
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
Whose frightening glare prompted me to freeze,
Nibbled on my nape,
Leaving me agape,
Just as she absconded to Belize.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
Spanked my bottom, then tickled my knees.
With signals so mixed
I was wholly transfixed,
Minding my Ps and Qs, well, just the Ps.
*
An attractive but cold-hearted tease,
At a café that I think was Burmese,
Was seeking new lovers
For romps under covers
Despite his fetish for swinging from trees.
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Always seemed so eager to please!
‘Course when things got too heavy
In the back of a Chevy
She’d slam ‘em together.
(Her KNEES!)
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Could round up new boyfriends with ease
She’d just shine up her lips
And wiggle her hips
To make the boys turn Japanese
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Made a living from door-to-door cheese
Using décolletage
She sold her fromage
Blue outfits, along with bleu cheese…
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
Went to visit the Vietnamese
She did not enjoy
Her stop in Hanoi
“That Hilton was awful! Oh please!”
An attractive but cold-hearted tease
lived a life of incredible ease
her husband was rich
she was a bitch
and she smiled when he died with a wheeze.