Suitable Verse
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who owned only one suit…
Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.
The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”
“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.
“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”
The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.
Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
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Tags: Bosses, Career Poem, Clothing Poem, Law Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Litigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Workplace & Career Humor, Writing Prompts
A man who owned only one suit
Would stuff boxer shorts in his boot.
Thus attired each day,
He had nought to say,
And, likewise, his friends all were mute.
A man who owned only one suit
Was shy and yet here’s the scoop
He wore it in the shower
And at rather odd hours
Twas a Birthday Suit, to boot
A man who owned only one suit
Declared he gave nary a hoot
If it rained or it snowed
Or the wind fiercely blowed
Or the trees were pulled up by their root
A man who owned only one suit
One bow tie, one sneaker, one boot.
Swaggered into town,
He looked more like a clown
Or perhaps a man of ill-repute.
A man who owned only one suit
Once visited a house of ill repute
But once he had his way
He flatly refused to pay
In lieu of money, they kept his suit.
I’m enjoying these! Thanks, and please keep them coming.
A man who owned only one suit
Did something not very astute
Just about to retire
He set it on fire
While smoking a stubby cheroot
A man who had only one suit,
So as not to befoul his commute,
Would hang up his slacks
From the overhead rack
And spray with “Febreze” while en route.
A man who had only one suit
When doused, in an angry dispute,
With a glassful of wine
Said, “That’s perfectly fine.
It was time for a change – ain’t it cute?”
Here’s mine:
WARDROBE MALE-FUNCTION
CTRL-CLICK on the link to open the limerick in a new internet window – without leaving MAD KANE.
A man who owned only one suit
Acting at work like a brute
Thus others would shun him
And he had only one whim
To give ’em all a kick in the boot
…
His hatefulness lasted all day
While at work he didn’t earn his pay
He growled and griped
While his boss spied and sniped
Adding insult to injury I’d say
The man’s therapy bill went up and up
Getting nowhere his doc said I’ve given up
His boss, too, had had it
His last pay envelope was padded
And he strode out somehow with his head up
The next day he burned his one suit
Deciding to use his severance to scoot
To the far north so that
He could wear jeans, parka, and a fur hat!
He’s now a lumberjack, never having dreamt he could do it.
was so happy to get yr invite… always loved yr limericks but tho i try could never signify a worthy one… here goes *note poet in training*
a man had only one suit
holy and pure he didn’t give a hoot
basking in glory
he read blue stories
beaming there are no absolutes
One Suit Disorder
A man who owned only one suit,
Accidentally stepped upon a bandicoot
Justifiably annoyed
The marsupial deployed
Its foot to trip the man with the suit with a kangaroo boot
A man who owned only one suit
Wore it proudly and said, “What a hoot!
It’s as comfy as can be
And I got it for free
For stealing a bank full of loot.
When asked what he thought of the style
He answered, “Well after a while,
the stripes get annoying,
And the odor is cloying
But complaining would just be futile.”
Suit Limerick
A man who had only one suit
Was decidedly irresolute
Should he spend all his days
In a half-addled haze
Or enlist in the Tonton Macoute?
dr goose… love it!!
What a fun selection of limericks. Please keep them coming. And if you’re on Facebook, please cross-post there. Thanks!
A man who had only one suit
Also had a solitary leather boot
His right would limp when he wore it on his left
And his left would limp when of the boot ’twas bereft.
Now with both his feet sore , he had to wrap them in jute.
The man who owned only one suit
Is my son, the 3L – (sans loot!)
Who loves IP/E cases
(NO ambulance chases!)
Any help for his dream job pursuit?
Since his youth he knew he’d aspire
To become an accomplished ‘esquire’
His known career journey
Was to be an attorney
But alas! No jobs–the straits dire!!
(Pardon my shameless, shameless post! Desperate times call for desperate limericks!)
“A man who owned only one suit,
Lest he linger in cruel disrepute,
Donned his wife’s blouse and bloomers,
Cried, “Fooey!” to rumors,
Tween mouthfuls of forbidden fruit!”
A man who owned only one suit
Was really a nasty old coot
So foul was his temper
His wife gave a whimper
And replaced it with one made of jute
Oh good! More fun limericks! Thanks, and please keep them coming!
A man who owned only one suit
Thought a bank ,he would loot.
But the suit did rip during the getaway.
And that tatter was a major giveaway.
Now he wishes he’d followed an honorable pursuit .
A man who had only one suit,
But three wives and a mistress to boot,
Surely tempted fate,
Dating a new mate
While his wives took careful aim to shoot.
*
A man who had only one suit,
Sundry undies, pajamas, and one boot
Was living a lie
With nary a tie,
For as a nudist, his few clothes were moot.
*
A man who had only one suit,
But suffered no shortage of loot,
On a shopping spree,
Wisely purchased me,
For I’m sexy and always a hoot.
*
A man who had only one suit,
Removed it during a showing of Klute.
And in the dark and buff
He couldn’t get enough
Of his neighbors, one straight, one fruit.
*
A man who had only one suit,
Once tossed it in a laundry chute.
With a touch of terror
He realized his error
For in a pocket was his new pet newt.
*
A man who had only one suit,
Besides his birthday one there was his zoot,
Was known for his flair,
In his zoot or bare,
Playing “Misty” on his trusty lute.
*
A man who had only one suit,
Which, for attorneys, can get one the boot,
Was hardly rapacious
Much less sagacious
And for a lawyer was far from astute.
*
A man who had only one suit,
A leisure that was anything but cute,
Also had just one ball
Which he lost in a fall,
Leaving him a high-pitched old coot.
*
A man who had only one suit,
Through which he was known often to poot,
Couldn’t help turning heads
As his gas-blown threads
Emitted an aroma too acute.
*
A man who had only one suit
Was involved in an unholy pursuit
Of cards, sex, and booze,
Which was hardly news
To his wife who was consorting with Newt.
*
A man who had only one suit
Was no cardshark but surely a brute,
As he threw cards and cried
When he sadly descried
A straight flush in Crazy Eights is moot.
*
A man who had only one suit
Visited a house of ill repute
Where he doffed said clothes,
Put on panty hose,
And serenaded all on his flute.
*
A man who had only one suit
Was anything but destitute,
For he had his hummus
And piles of pomace
And a cache of cash at home in Beirut.
*
A man who had only one suit
Had more than one nice attribute.
Witty, charming and warm
And known, too, for his form,
He had a bald butt but pate hirsute.
*
A man who had only one suit
Was once a woman in hot pursuit
Of a different shape,
A hairier nape,
And new identity to take root.
Edmund, you are certainly prolific. Thanks for your many fun limericks. Hope to see you back next week for my next Limerick-Off.