Weepy Limerick
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who readily cried…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Weepy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who readily cried
Never learned to take movies in stride.
She would feel oh so low
And her tear drops would flow
When a character sickened or died.
She’d weep for the good guys and bad—
Did not matter — they both made her sad.
How her husband freaked out
When she sobbed for a lout
Like a killer or mean, deadbeat dad.
He told her, “You’re acting insane.
Is there something amiss with your brain?
Please don’t cry for a villain
Who merits his killin’.
Put clamps on your waterworks main.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Crying, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Tears, Writing Prompts
A woman who readily cried
frequently heard remarks snide
But she finally snapped
and her nerves they were zapped
When her eggs were served scrambled not fried!
A woman who readily cried,
Every time she really tried.
And down the years
She cried bucketful of tears
But no one cried when she died.
A woman who readily cried
When her pet gold fish died.
And believe me my dears
She shed so much of tears
The local beach had a high tide.
A woman who readily cried
When chopped onions she had to provide
For her recipe trial
To see if worthwhile
For a cookbook she wrote blurry eyed
A woman who readily cried
As her hair , her source of pride
Was now a fluorescent green
The likes of which no one had seen
To avoid prying eyes, she now stayed inside!
A woman who readily cried
Had a brain that was mostly fried
Between finances and family
Burning both ends of the candle
She was frayed whilst being fit to be tied
These are delightful. Please keep them coming. And if you’re on Facebook, please cross-post them there.
Thanks!
A woman who readily cried
with her 8 small kids standing by
“Who am I to say no?”
she said nice and slow
so the camera could catch her “good side”.
Her hubby ran for the door
screaming “I just can’t take it no more.
She’s mean and she’s rude,
She’s increasingly crude,
For publicity she is a whore”.
Old Katie believed she was hot
For years she had planned out her plot
Have a litter of kids
Then get into “the biz”
But talent poor Katie had not.
So she had to pimp out her children….Sad.
Barbara, I loved it!
A woman who readily cried
shed tears that could never be dried
So much did she bawl
when shopping at the mall
The employees would all run and hide
A woman who readily cried,
Was a most unforgettable bride
Her mascara ran down
And covered her gown
Why was it so heavily applied?
A woman who readily cried
And in cooking took really much pride
Said, “Starting today,
My onion soufflé
Is a dish my guests must be denied”
Said a woman who readily cried,
“You don’t know how it hurts me inside,
That I’ve found Mr. Right
And he thinks I’m too tight
When the truth is: his winky’s too wide!”
A woman who readily cried…
Was embarrassed, wanted to hide
When the tears flowed she ran
To hide in her van
Left the party and went for a ride
A woman who readily cried
didn’t bother when her husband died
he was a brute first class
so when he fell on his ass
She laughed til she got a pain in her side.
A woman who readily cried
Had a dog who passed gas and then sighed
Her tears flowed like rain
from the dogs melodious refrain
Yet fido..simply took it in stride
She never faced up to the fact
Her crying was only an act
Her dog would look on
Pass gas..and then yawn
Not realizing BEANO he lacked.
A woman who readily cried,
While eying his member quite wide,
Fought back her hot tears,
Ignored all her fears,
And sighed as he climaxed inside.
Oh goody! More delightful limericks. Thanks everyone!
A woman who readily cried
Would only eat eggs that were fried
And when she was served poached
Even though she was coached
Her tears puddled up on the side