Caffeinated Limerick
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.
As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.
As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Addiction Humor, Cappuccino Limerick, Coffee Drinks Humor, Coffee Verse, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
So much so it gives him bad dreams
He kicks off the bedsheets
As though he’s in track meets
And there’s grave concern for his spleen.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
But too much of it made him so mean
That he’d stay up all night
Starting fight after fight
And that’s how he joined the Marines!
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
It’s become now an evening routine.
Stiff cup after cup.
How else to stay up?
To pleasure his wife of nineteen.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine….
Without a cup of mocha he is never seen.
But he was reduced to tears
When his wife of many years
Ran away ’cause the coffee made him mean.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine….
All that coffee makes him irritable and mean.
His only problem is that due to lack of sleep
He phones his friends at night till they weep
And he has been like that since he was eighteen.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine..
Every day he consumes cups nineteen..
Then he stays up the whole night,
And gives his wife a fright……..
Who thinks more than once is just obscene.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
In coffee cut with benzedrine
He laced Keds on his feet
Ran out to the street
And since then he hasn’t been seen
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
So much he’d even chew the bean
But it gives him the jitters
So whenever he Twitters
His followers don’t know what they mean
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
Who signed with the Mujahideen
But his failure to sleep
Turned him into a creep
Something they should have really foreseen
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
And an Irish young girl named Irene
Fresh grounds, and a cup
Would get him right up
And then he would grind his colleen.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine,
Gargles coffee just like Listerine,
He quiets his nerves
With espresso hors d’oeuvres
And a dark-roasted, soup-filled tureen
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine –
He delights in the juice of the bean.
“I just can’t get enough
‘Cause it makes me feel buff –
I could wrestle a mad wolverine!”*
*Individual results may vary. Ask your doctor if wolverine wrestling is right for you.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
Found too much, did make him quite mean
So he tried to cut back,
His head with aches did wrack
He’s back to the coffee machine
There’s a farmer who loves his caffeine
Guzzling coffee each morn @4:15!
But when his heifer gave birth
He suffered bad ‘Coffee nerves’
Now both’ve joined the ‘decalf’ scene
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
So much you might call him a fiend
When he is without
He struggles and pouts
And rages at coffee machine.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
So you’d better not get inbetween
Him and his cup
or he’ll beat you up
And he’s still only a pre-teen.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
Who’s interested in all things green
The coffee keeps him going
And annually he’s showing
The best flowers and veggies you’ve seen!
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
And you’d think it’d make him mean
Drinking espresso all day long
And ending each day with a song
His 3-times-a-night wife thinks it’s keen!
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
It gets him “twitchy” and keeps him lean
He’s too nervous to find a girl
So he gives his videos a twirl
And stays “up” all night with his screen.
Thanks so much everyone for your delightful limericks … and please keep them coming.
If you aren’t already getting my email Limerick-Off alerts and want them, please send me an email request.
there’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
no matter how much per bean
tall, vente or grande
he always wants it handy
and it cuts his appetite so he stays lean
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
From a bean that is very unclean
First a civet will chew it
And then he will poo it
It’s the bean from the civet latrine
(For those who don’t know about civet dung and coffee beans, see this)
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
His affiliction is almost obscene
When he sends out his Twitters
In the throes of his jitters
Who knows what his messages mean?
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
And at Starbucks he’ll cause a great scene
His appetite — heinous
He opts intravenous
His coffee less drink than vaccine
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine,
No java, he’s just downright mean!
He gets real shaky
Starts acting so flaky,
Without his ol’ friend, The Bean!
There’s a fellow who love his caffeine
And it makes him real angry and mean
His coffee “wild horses”
Have caused five divorces
It really has altered his “scene”
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
Straight up without any cream
With sugar… or not
Drink it cold sip it hot
Free Starbucks was only a dream
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine-
And as he sips it he loves to preen
Next he would stand on his toes
Sneeze twice and blow his nose
Rather loud, because the cops always arrive on the scene!
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
his days can not begin or convene
till he feels that first volt
he sure loves the jolt
that he’s been giving himself since thirteen!
Good to see you!
Oh good — more fun limericks. Thanks everyone!
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
And his handy expresso machine
He blames, with conviction,
His mother’s addiction
and claims he’s inherited the gene.
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
And his handy espresso machine
He blames, with conviction,
His mother’s addiction
And claims he’s inherited the gene.
This is really a cool blog!! Kudos. My blog tries to despell the rumors about Little Johnny jokes so here’s a stab at a Limmerick re: Little Johnny
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
The “kids” stories said he was MEAN
But he was just Little Johnny
And really kind of funny
The last known joke says he was thirteen
fun blog. thanks
There was a lady who loves her caffeine
So much so it always fills her canteen
She swears it keeps her awake
So much so that she started to shake
And now spends to much time in the latrine!
There once was a fellow who loved his caffeine
You’d see him @ Starbucks in between
His jaunts to Peets, Tullys and Caribou
Where everyday he’d be the one who
Sat at the window exuding a mud colored sheen.
There once was a fellow who loved his caffeine
To drink @ his computer he was keen.
Then one day into the keys the brown liquid spilled
Well, you’d think his mother had just been killed!
He emitted loud screeches and karate kicks that made ruble of that machine.