Needless to say, I wrote this limerick while running around doing sundry chores:
What A Drag!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who’s dragging a cart
Has some errands to run. Where to start?
The cleaners and grocer —
Too bad they’re not closer.
How she longs to stay home and make art.
Somehow I managed to miss National Punctuation Day on Sept 24th. “Shame on me!”
Oh my — I just used an exclamation point! And I did it again!
As you can tell from my limerick, I’m not a big fan of the exclamation point, a/k/a the bang.
STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.
By the way, it isn’t too late to celebrate National Punctuation Day: NationalPunctuationDay.com is doing it with a punctuation-related haiku contest. (The deadline is September 30th.)
And speaking of contests, the Washington Post is hosting another limerick competition. (As I mentioned previously, I got an honorable mention in their last one.)
Anyway, the Washington Post’s latest limerick contest sounds like a lot of fun. Much like my Limerick-Offs, WP provides limerick lines. However, the WP contest is definitely harder than mine: I provide A-rhyme first lines, while the WP contest offers us B-rhyme lines.
The Washington Post contest deadline is October 4th. Good luck!
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who owned only one suit…
Here’s mine. (It’s a six-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Suitable Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who owned only one suit
Could afford many more with his loot.
But he hated to wear’em
And just could not bear’em,
Which led to a workplace dispute.
The co that he worked for was sold.
“The new owner likes suits,” he was told.
“That’s too bad,” he replied.
“I just can not abide
Dressing up and I won’t be controlled.”
“Read my memo — now suits are a must,”
He was warned. “You must look upper crust.”
He replied, “Won’t comply!”
“Then I bid you goodbye,”
Said the buyer, with scorn and disgust.
“But wait, there’s a suit that I like,”
He responded. “I won’t take a hike.
It’s a suit of this sort:
I shall take you to court.
Watch your legal bills mount up and spike.”
The new owner refused to back down.
He assumed that the guy was a clown
Who never would sue.
That assumption, he’d rue.
He soon learned that this “clown” owned the town.
Yes, he worked just for fun — that’s the hitch.
He missed working — it gave him an itch.
So he did file that suit
And won even more loot.
Then he bought out the co. Ain’t that rich?
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
And if you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Rumor has it that fall will arrive on September 23rd. So I thought I’d celebrate with my Limerick Ode To Autumn:
Limerick Ode To Autumn
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Feels like autumn — the walking is easy
Cuz it’s cool and it’s dry and it’s breezy.
But what do I spy?
Flying pollen — oh my!
Any minute I’ll surely be sneezy.
Thursday night’s weather was certainly interesting here in Queens, New York. Hubby Mark and I were on the Long Island Railroad on route to an Off-Broadway play, when what turned out to be a tornado hit.
After some delays, our train did manage to make it to Penn Station, after which the railroad completely shut down, stranding hordes of rush hour commuters. (As we later learned, the tracks were littered with uprooted trees, and the storm had wreaked havoc throughout much of New York City.)
But we went off to see the play, figuring that by the time we were finished with theater and dinner, everything would be back to normal. Ha!
As it turned out, more than 24 hours would elapse before the LIRR would fully recover. So our path home to Bayside, Queens was a challenge, involving an unfamiliar combo of train, subway, and bus.
Relieved to finally be home, we were greeted by an unwelcome discovery — the tallest tree in our backyard had relocated to our neighbor’s yard.
Well, at least the play wasn’t bad — It Must Be Him, starring Peter Scolari and Liz Torres. Not great mind you — not even close. But everything’s relative.
The Washington Post runs a yearly limerick writing competition as part of its Style Invitational and has just announced this year’s winners. No, I didn’t win, but I was pleased to receive an Honorable Mention.
If you’d like to read some clever, well-written limericks, I recommend reading the winning limericks.
And now, a limerick about writing limericks:
An Ode To The Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Writing lim’ricks is sometimes confusing
Cuz the rules can be tricky and bruising.
But their sing-songy beat
Can be fun — just don’t cheat.
Write them right and they’re very amusing.
My blog comment spam problems aren’t nearly bad as they used to be, due to an anti-spam WordPress Plugin I raved about previously. But I still have to scan pending comments for spam, and certain things are a dead give away:
Dear Spammer Dude (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Spammers, don’t call me a “dude.”
I’m a gal, so that sounds rather rude.
My pic makes this clear,
So your “dude” usage, dear,
Proves your post should be promptly eschewed.
TV weather reporters in the New York metropolitan area had a wonderful time last week, warning us about Hurricane Earl and all the rain that was surely coming our way. They gave us “teaser” reports early in the news shows, making us wait, as usual, for forecasts that turned out to be wrong.
We had hurricane watches and warnings galore … but no actual rain. In short, New York City weather predictions were a washout.
Weathering Those Weather Reports (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Why use weather reports as your guide?
I really don’t mean to be snide,
But they tend to be wrong
And they take way too long.
Want a forecast that’s right? Go outside.
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.
As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.
As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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