Hot Crossed Limerick (Updated)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man who was known for his buns…
Here’s mine:
Hot Crossed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man who was known for his buns
Attracted most gals — even nuns.
How those dames would delight
In his ass oh so tight,
Ignoring his poor half-baked puns.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Update — Note: I will soon start announcing these Limerick-Offs via private email instead of FB messaging, because FB group messaging anti-spam policies are making it very difficult for me to send legitimate messages out to groups of twenty. (My Facebook Straits recounts just some of my difficulties with FB’s anti-spam controls.)
So if you’d like to receive private email notices letting you know I’ve posted a new Limerick-Off first line, please send me a private email to MadKane@MadKane.com with the subject line “Limerick-Off Announcement Request.” Thanks very much!
Tags: Appearance Humor, Baking Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Food Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Puns, Wordplay, Writing Prompts
A man who was known for his buns
Took pleasure in mooning the nuns
When he ran past the abbey
Slapping sounds from his flabby
Ass sounded like firing of guns
A man who was known for his buns,
Those cinnamon, big gooey ones!
Said “Hey, have a chew,
“It’s the yeast I can do
“Very soon you’ll weigh in at two tons!”
A man who was known for his buns
Had girlfriends galore – by the tons!
He compared all the asses
on those little lasses
And now he’s got plenty of sons.
A man who was known for his buns…
Sadly weighed almost two tons
Though he looked kinda funny
In the circus he made money
But all he could attract were fat nuns
A man who was known for his buns…
Had a penchant for collecting guns
He kept running around
Collecting all he found
But it left little time for the hon’s.
A man who was known for his buns
Could swing a mean bat with his “guns”,
And the girls found it hot
To ogle his trot
After each of his many home runs.
These are delightful. Please keep them coming! Thanks!
A man who was known for his buns
Was suspected of being “for fun”
Though this made him confused
When he heard the news
Bakery work never seemed to be done
A man who was known for his buns
Passed the business along to his sons
With sales once prodigious
The boys got religious
And now sell them only to nuns
A guy once known for his buns
Was addicted to watching reruns
But the longer he sat
His brain waves went flat
And he forgot about the elections
A man who was known for his buns
left his lovers scattered thither like crumbs
“My face isn’t cute”
He exclaimed with a hoot
But my backside resemble ripe plums
A man who was known for his buns
Was baking for all of his chums
But the Dough Boy once said
“Why I make better bread!”
But all I get are the crumbs!
A man who was known for his buns,
Sought a partner with very nice guns.
They’d make love all day,
In every which way,
Enhancing his stiff erections.
A man who was known for his buns,
Declared ‘I know everyone shuns
A rear like a blob!
It cannot do its job!
They must come in twos and not ones!’
(Flattery. This one owes everything to Mark’s earlier entry)
A man who was known for his buns
had a friend with incredible guns
He’d playfully tease’m
til finally she’d seize him
and received her comeuppance when done
(More flattery. This one riffs on Peter’s nun image.)
A man who was known for his buns
caught his dad in a bed with some nuns
Their eyes drifting nether
the sisters chose whether
they favored the Father or Son
A man who was known for his buns
often slept nude in the sun
His beautiful torso
was made even more so
baked at high heat until done
What a fun selection of limericks. Please keep them coming. And Neal, you’re certainly prolific today. :)
If anyone wants to be on my Limerick-Off first line announcement list, please send me an email. (Low volume email list — one or two messages per week.)
Thanks!
A man who was known for his buns
Ate so many he developed the runs
He thought lard was to blame
To butter he changed
Now, no matter, no BM comes.
A man who was known for his buns
Was also noted for puns
When his friends groaned and muttered
He left his doors shuttered
And said “keep yapping; I’ve got tons!”
A man who was known for his buns
Sought help ‘gainst girls groping for fun.
Called a friend in Nic’ragua
Who sent him tap agua.
Which he drank, thus inducing the runs.
Uh man dat wuz known fa his buns
Asked fa help fum brot thievin’ Huns.
I said “You cood break deir leg
or fa deir lives, make dem beg
Itsa cinch, ya just need some hand guns.”
A man who was known for his buns
sent his fellow man to other countries
crossed over green grasses and lawns
sold his product overseas
all around the world
to people, mothers and sons!