Bad News Limerick
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A diva was slammed in the news…
Here’s mine:
Bad News Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A diva was slammed in the news.
The column was chock full of boos.
It lambasted her voice
And her musical choice.
Now that woman is singing the blues.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bad News Humor, Blues Limerick, Diva Humor, Media Limerick, Music Limerick, Musical Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Prima Donnas, Reviews, Singers, Writing Prompts
A diva was slammed in the news
For dyeing her hair bright chartreuse
She said: don’t bust a kidney
I’m singing “Carmen” in Sydney
And this will frighten the male kangaroos
A diva was slammed in the news.
For hitting Obama with shoes.
She also tossed pie,
and was a bit sly,
But on Mosques she had a short fuse.
A diva was slammed in the news,
And responded without any clues,
To her critics, she then cawed,
With a loud, angry laud,
“That without me, there’d be none of you’s.”
A diva was slammed in the news
for saying bad things about Jews
She’s not anti-semetic
She’s peripatetic
You can tell by the look of her shoes
A diva was slammed in the news.
Her singing was like a cat’s mews.
Her voice was so bad,
they arrested her dad
For something called “aural abuze.”
A diva was slammed in the news
By a critic with nothing to lose
She punched him in the face
Recovered her grace
After all she had paid her dues
A diva was slammed in the news
For conspicuously telling untruths
She said “I got them from Mailer
and not from Charles Taylor.”
The court sent her off with the blues.
A fun batch of limericks! Thanks. And please keep them coming.
A diva was slammed in the news
They said her character was loose
But the channel changed its tune
And that too ………….…very soon
The moment she paid her dues.
A diva was slammed in the news
When she was caught in the mews
In the company of a man
Wearing only a suntan
An example of news on the loose
A diva was slammed in the news
For daring to wear platform shoes
Said she, ‘ I don’t care a bit,
Your views aren’t worth a shit.
I’ll bloody well wear what I choose.’
A diva was slammed in the news…
For exposure candid, and profuse
Of the celebrity knee
When bitten by a bee
As she hit out at the insect with her shoes!
A diva was slammed in the news
for overindulging in booze
Then shaving her head
Like a hick, interbred
While revealing her misspelt tattoos.
A diva was slammed in the news,
For canceling too many shews
“Shut up!” said the diva,
“I’ve got a high fevah!
“And a lawyer who constantly sues!”
A diva was slammed in the news
For excesses with pills and with bews.
She’ll go out on the morrow
And assuage her sorrow
By buying a boatload of shews.
A diva was slammed in the news
for owning thousands of shoes
which gave her pleasure
and a shopping treasure
she vowed that she never would lose.
A diva was slammed in the news
For taking her pills with her booze
She continued to drive
Never passing a dive
And she’s now driving out at The Mews
A diva was slammed in the news
And condemned from the pulpits and pews,
Her show was suspended,
On Facebook de-“friended,”
But on MySpace she doubled her “views.”
Oh good — more fun limericks! Thanks … and please keep them coming.
A diva was slammed in the news
For habits no one could excuse
Backstage she’d demand
M&M’s for her band
….But only the yellows and blues
A diva was slammed in the news
For wearing the wrong kind of shoes
Instead of erotical
They looked quaintly nautical
Like two uninspired canoes
A diva was slammed in the news
By her lifestyle, breaking taboos.
Her diary was brimming (with)
Tales of hot men(/women)
She’s still a hit – some folks can’t lose!