Lush Limerick
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who drank to excess…
Here’s mine:
Lush Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who drank to excess
Got to work in a state of undress:
Wore no shirt and no shoes,
Had a briefcase of booze
And, quite tipsy, said “Dress to impress.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Alcoholic Poems, Appearance Humor, Booze Humor, Clothing Poem, Drinking Limerick, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
A fellow who drank to excess
Soon forgot his own name and address
He drank a bit more
‘Til wall became floor
And what happened then would digress.
A fellow who drank to excess
Claimed he was imbibing much less
When called to account
Shown the empties’ amount
He said to his critics “Bad cess!”
A fellow who drank to excess,
Staggered home in a state of undress
He kept ordering gin,
Again and again,
And said, “I can’t rhyme when I’m thish drunk and my whole life ish really a mess!
A fellow who drank to excess
Found himself in a mell of a hess
When he turned up one night
(Which was dawn’s early light)
His wife KO’d him–Adam’s apple press
A fellow who drank to excess
Pretended to drink only the bes’
But when hooch and home brew
Were all he could do
The ladies found others to caress
A fellow who drank to excess
Thought with stamina he was bless’d
But he finally learned
That his women felt spurned–
He couldn’t get it up in their . . . dress
A fellow who drank to excess
Could not make his way into undress
His johnson, went south
Like a schmuck, he passed out
In the morning he woke up at the burlesque
A fellow who drank to excess
Could not recall his own address
HIs head all ablaze
His mind in a haze
He made it home nevertheless
A fellow who drank to excess
Kept ogling the bartender, Bess
As he kept on starin’
Her nostrils were flarin’
Dismayed at his impolitesse
OOPS SORRY LET ME CHANGE THAT
SAY, IS THERE A WAY TO DELETE THE 1ST VERSION?
SORRY FOR TACKINESS HERE YO!
A fellow who drank to excess
Kept ogling the bartender, Bess
As he kept on starin’
Her nostrils were flarin’
Distressed at his impolitesse
A fellow who drank to excess
Staggered la Rue de Montparnasse
Though usually a mensch
The wine of the French
Would tend to just make him regress
A fellow who drank to excess
Got into a hell of a mess
They ran the whole story
In full page-one glory
It’s freedom, they say, of the press
A fellow who drank to excess
Tried abstinence without success
With one little sip
His point would soon tip
Hopeless? It’s anyone’s guess
A fellow who drank to excess
Learned too late of his bladder’s press
The resulting Tsunami
T’would make a prim lass go balmy
So the remainder, we’ll not address
These drunken limericks are great fun! Please keep them coming. Thanks!
A fellow who drank to excess,
Found his photo all over the press.
How he ended up bare,
Caught avoiding the fare,
He could honestly hazard no guess.
A fellow who drank to excess,
boasted lineage to Rudolf Hesse.
Hoped this’d improve chances;
Wished to move beyond dances.
‘Bruptly found out his date was Jewess!
A fellow who drank to excess
Went to rehab, but under duress;
His lurid confessions
Of drunken transgressions
Were acclaimed as a rousing success.
A fellow who drank to excess
A mathematician, who’d guess?
Staggered up 4th and Tulip
Pointing to his mint julep
And loudly complained, “More’s NOT less!”
A fellow who drank to excess
Drove to work in his pj’s, a mess:
As the female staff sneered,
He leered broadly and jeered,
“Well, at least I’M not wearing a dress!”
A fellow who drank to excess
One day entered a church to confess;
On his knees heard mid plea,
The priest say pleasantly:
“Do you know, sir, you’re wearing a dress?”
A fellow who drank to excess
Often claimed to see flames on Loch Ness
But his neighbors, afire,
Declared daft Sean a liar
And vowed they’d force him to confess
That he’d merely seen Nessie, no more;
Then came one night Sean staggered ashore
Empty bottle held high ~
Lightning forked in the sky
Then a crash like a huge slamming door
Woke the villagers deep in the night:
They rushed down to the lake, filled with fright
Heard him croon to the moon
Nessie swayed to his tune
Amidst flames showing off her great height…
But Sean stormily railed that next dawn
That his pow’r to see flames was now gone:
If they’d only believed!
…The townspeople, relieved,
Swore they’d never reveal what’d gone on…
[Thanks, Steve V.! hope you like this one; you were quite inspired yourself!]
A fellow who drank to excess
Would fail to oblige his noblesse
Til one day a gendarme
Took him by the arm
On the Boulevard du Montparnasse…
oh, sorry about that second visit to the boulevard
hmmm
hey if i can go to montparnasse twice then patrice can wear a dress twice
LOL, Steve! Using a rhyming word more than once is fine, so long as the limerick in general is different.
Thanks for all your fun limericks, everyone, and please keep them coming!