A Dog Of A Limerick
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A wealthy old woman named Kate…
Here’s mine:
A Dog Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Left her dog an enormous estate.
Her children all stewed
Till they finally sued.
Who won? Well, each lawyer did great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Children Humor, Dog Verse, Estate Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Money Poems, Parental Humor, Pet Owners, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Writing Prompts
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Liked to sit on her ass when she ate
She got terrible fat’
Eating herrings and sprat
Now she wants to move on to pate. (I know, I know..)
A wealthy old woman named Kate
died suddenly from stuff she ate.
Her kids blamed each other
for poisoning Mother,
reluctant to blame fickle fate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Worried muchly about her bald pate
Said she “I need hair!
It just isn’t fair!”
And she angrily railed against fate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Kept her money locked in a crate.
She checked it often
Till she left in a coffin
That’s the story of the late woman Kate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Was aware of her children ingrate
So she picked a pen and paper
Decimated them with a scraper
Of a will, and a piece of black slate!
It is Kate who killed the unfortunate
Kids her mate and she did procreate
Through a will
That sadly still
Is for eighty years under legal debate
That dear old lady, Mrs. Kate in an inebriated state
To her elephant did write her testament to dedicate
A thousand acre banana orchard and an eel
Three igloos and twenty three pans of steel
And the Graf Zeppelin tied to a mast in her estate
I hope Mrs. Kate now knows her bananas will
Let her elephant remain content and have his fill
While the irate neighbor will savor
The elephant’s smelly favor
Of puddles and broken trees rolling down hill
A wealthy old woman named Kate,
Was finally asked out on a date.
Although he was charming,
The news too alarming,
Her immediate death was just fate.
Her suitor, just what should he do?
She was dead and had turned rather blue.
So he dressed her all up,
Took her out for a cup,
And left her body there in the loo.
The case finally came to probate.
What a cumbersome task of the state.
Second cousins did fight,
A scene into the night.
They were entitled to her estate.
The funeral was a small affair.
Her family, they just never did care,
In her will it did say,
Her own Church she would pay,
So no one but her Pastor was there.
A wealthy old woman named Kate,
looked to want ads to find a mate.
Responders all booed
when they saw her nude
but a blind man thought she was great.
A wealthy old woman named Kate,
Forever and always was late.
A young guy came calling
But he left her a-balling,
when her wheelchair got stuck at the gate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Was constantly running late
It made her hubby mad
So she went with the fad
And traded him for a much younger mate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Pretend to be gay when she’s straight
She wore rainbow suspenders
And confused both genders
Now she stays home and just masturbates.
Wow! What a fun assortment of limericks and verse. Wealthy Kate apparently has made your imaginations run wild. Thanks, and please keep them coming.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Began to question her fate
She wanted to know
Why ill winds blow
When she never shared her plate
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Was never in need of a date
The young men came runnin’
When the yacht or Bentley engine was gunnin’
Cuz she hired young, healthy girls by the crate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Had suitors whenever she ate
The butcher, the baker
The finest wine maker
They all came to fill Miss Kate’s plate
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Was convinced that it’s never too late.
So she looked for a man
Just as hard as she can
Using all of that money as bait.
A wealthy old woman names Kate
Got terribly tired of her mate
So she used all that money to fin a new honey
The prenup made ex de-inflate.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Said, “I won’t spend a dime on a date,
But I’d sure like a suitor
A little bit cuter
Than that which you have to inflate.”
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Loved sex with any hot mate.
She’d bed guys by the dozens,
Then do all their cousins.
But no one dared making her wait.
Thanks so much everyone. It’s great to see so many fun limericks. And more are welcome, of course.
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Had a cousin who traveled upstate
When the cousin got home
She wax-papered her comb
And kazooed til it just got too late…
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Got frustrated learning to skate
so she took off her rollers
became an ayatollah
and moved kith and kin to Kuwait
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Had no trouble finding a date.
Old men didn’t suit ‘er.
Young men who were lewder
Did all of her appetites sate
Thanks to all of you once again for your delightful limericks! I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off right here: http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2010/05/03/opera-verse/ . Hope to see your limericks there too!
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Strolled her gardens just to meditate
But her kids, spouse and sister
Had her panties in a twister
She grabbed Jack Daniels just to medicate