Archive for April, 2010
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A wealthy old woman named Kate…
Here’s mine:
A Dog Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Left her dog an enormous estate.
Her children all stewed
Till they finally sued.
Who won? Well, each lawyer did great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Children Humor, Dog Verse, Estate Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Money Poems, Parental Humor, Pet Owners, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 26 Comments »
Monday, April 19th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A miserly fellow name Joe…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Miserly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A miserly fellow name Joe
Was obsessed with his weekly cash flow.
The guy was so petty,
He ordered wife Betty
To flush once a day. She said, “No!”
Then he yelled, “You are wasteful and low!”
But she said, “It’s distasteful. No go!”
So he sued for divorce—
An asinine course.
Now the lawyers have all of his dough.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Bathroom Humor, Cash Flow Humor, Divorce Humor, Law Limerick, Marriage Verse, Misers, Money Poems, Obsession Verse, Pettiness, Poetry & Prompts, Toilet Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Obsessions Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 16 Comments »
Thursday, April 15th, 2010
Why finish my tax return, when I can write a limerick about not finishing my tax return?
Taxing Deadlines
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Did you file your 1040? Not me!
Cuz I need an extension, you see.
Could not get it together.
I’m blaming the weather.
Do I wish it was finished? Mais oui!
Related Posts: Interactive Taxes, Taxing Times and Money Humor.
Tags: April Holidays, Financial Verse, Form 1040 Humor, Income Tax Humor, Money Poems, Procrastination Verse, Tax Filing Humor
Posted in Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Procrastination Humor, Tax & IRS Satire | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, April 14th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
There once was a baker, Lenore…
Here’s mine:
Half-Baked Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a baker, Lenore,
Who’d been baking three decades or more.
But she quit. When asked why,
She responded, “Hate pie!”
You’d think she’d have noticed before.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Baking Humor, Food Poem, Job Humor, Pie Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 16 Comments »
Tuesday, April 13th, 2010
My humorist pal Felice Prager had a birthday recently and, thanks to Facebook reminders, was receiving an extra large slew of birthday greetings. When she responded to mine, she joked about writing a limerick starting with the line: “The girl who said thank you a lot …” So of course, I did:
Limerick Of Manners
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The girl who said thank you a lot
Sure wanted to stop, but could not,
Cuz she knew it ain’t right
To stop acting polite.
So she purchased a thanks-giving bot.
Tags: Birthday Greetings Humor, Computer Verse, Politeness, Technology Limerick, Thank You Humor
Posted in Birthday Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Computer Humor, Facebook Humor, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Robot Humor, Technology Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, April 13th, 2010
For many years, Cooking With Jazz in Whitestone, Queens, New York was one of our favorite restaurants. Then, suddenly, it was gone.
Several years went by, and hubby Mark and I had just about given up on ever getting good New Orleans food again, short of flying to Louisiana. And then, the unimaginable happened — a postcard arrived announcing that Cooking With Jazz had reopened, this time in Jamaica Estates, Queens.
Oh joy!
Within days we were dining at the new Cooking With Jazz, and it’s even better than we remembered.
And so, a limerick in honor of chef-owner Steve and the wonderful Cooking With Jazz restaurant:
Cooking With Jazz (Limerick Review)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a Cajun oasis in Queens
With authentic cuisine, New Orleans,
And the Creole pizzazz
At Cooking With Jazz
Surely rivals all Big Easy scenes.
Tags: Big Easy, Cajun Food, Cooking With Jazz, Creole Cuisine, Food Verse, Louisiana, New Orleans, New York City Dining, Queens Restaurants
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Queens Verse & Humor, Restaurant Reviews & Humor | 5 Comments »
Thursday, April 8th, 2010
Jesse Levy, a Facebook pal of mine who participates in my Limerick-Offs, has challenged me and fellow Facebook friends to write a limerick starting with this line:
There once was a swimmer named Dean.
I love a good challenge, so I wrote this three-verse limerick in response:
There once was a swimmer named Dean.
He was swift and his breast stroke was mean.
When he raced he would win.
He thought losing a sin.
The guy was a swimming machine.
When he finally lost, he freaked out
And suffered a confidence drought —
Could not handle defeat.
He determined to beat
Up the fellow who won his last bout.
Poor Dean does not swim anymore.
He’s in prison, according to lore,
For killing that swimmer.
His weapon? Hedge trimmer.
Yes, that’s how he settled his score.
Tags: Athletics, Bad Sportsmanship, Competition, Crime, Poetry & Prompts, Swimming Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limericks, Sports Humor | 7 Comments »
Wednesday, April 7th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A symphony cellist named Kate…
Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Musical Chairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A symphony cellist named Kate
Shares her stand with a man, once her mate.
Though they play well in sync,
She thinks him a fink
And longs for his move out of state.
But orchestra jobs are quite rare,
And he can’t find a gig on a dare.
Sadly, neither can she,
So together they’ll be
Making music. At least she’s first chair.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Cello Humor, Divorce Humor, Marriage Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Symphony Orchestra Humor, Symphony Verse, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts | 13 Comments »
Monday, April 5th, 2010
April 6th is my brother Arthur Begun’s birthday. So I thought I’d write him a happy birthday limerick:
Happy birthday, dear brother, you’re old,
Though you’re younger than I, truth be told.
You’re a relative pup.
You refuse to catch up.
But as sibling, you’re better than gold.
Tags: April Holidays, Arthur Begun, Birthday Limerick, Brother Humor, Holiday Verse, Relatives Limerick, Sibling Humor
Posted in Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, April 5th, 2010
My versifying friend Gerald Bosacker has been writing a series of Poetic Headstones — safety hints in limerick form, which he refers to as “limerbituaries.” When he challenged me to write one, I just had to give it a try:
If your doc says, “Go under the knife.
Only surgery’s saving your life.”
Kindly check out his rep.
Mel did not, the poor schlepp.
So Mel is now missed by his wife.
From there, I moved on to something a bit more warped — not exactly a safety hint, but a “limerbituary,” nonetheless:
Just why is this poor fellow dead?
Well mainly he’s missing his head.
He dined with a bad man,
A head-chopping madman,
And that’s the last time he was fed.
Thanks for the inspiration, Gerald.
Tags: Crime, Death Limerick, Doctors Humor, Gallows Humor, Headstones Tombstones Humor, Health Limerick, Medical Humor, Safety Verse
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Crime & Punishment Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Friday, April 2nd, 2010
I don’t know about you, but I’m not buying Jesse James’ (or Tiger Woods’) rehab ploy:
Rehab For Serial Wife-Cheating? Bullox! (Double Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A bike-loving fellow named James
Had affairs with some numerous dames.
Though wife Sandra’s a winner,
He’s trying to spin her:
Addiction’s the problem, he claims.
Now he’s paying a whole lot of loot
For therapy — Tiger Woods’ route.
But rehab won’t fix
Those wife-cheating pricks.
My advice — just give both guys the boot.
Tags: Addiction Humor, Celebrities, Celebrity Marriages, Elin Nordegren, Feminism Humor, Jesse James, Motorcycles, Rehab, Sandra Bullock, Serial Cheaters, Tiger Woods
Posted in Addiction Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Celebrity Humor, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Public Figures | 7 Comments »
Thursday, April 1st, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
An unemployed fellow named Nick…
Here’s mine:
Building That Career
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An unemployed fellow named Nick
Had an interview — poured it on thick.
Though a snob, he proclaimed
That he always had aimed
For a job using mortar and brick.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Building Limerick, Construction Humor, Interview Humor, Job Hunting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Snobs, Unemployment Humor, Workplace Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Workplace & Career Humor | 8 Comments »
