Archive for March, 2010
Sunday, March 28th, 2010
Are you a wine aficionado? A fan of pinot noir? Apparently baboons like pinot too, which is providing quite a challenge for South African vineyard owners and winemakers.
Largely undeterred by electric fences, hundreds of wild baboons in South Africa’s prized wine country are finding the vineyards of ripe, succulent grapes to be an “absolute bonanza,” said Justin O’Riain of the University of Cape Town.
Winemakers have resorted to using noisemakers and rubber snakes to try to drive the baboons off during harvest season.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Though South African wine can be fine,
There’s a threat to each grape growing vine.
Cuz baboons enjoy feeding
On grapes. Their fave eating
Is prized pinot noir — that’s the whine.
Tags: baboons, Pinot Noir, South Africa, Vineyards, Wine Grapes, Wine Humor, Winemakers
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Business Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on South African Pinot’s Too Pricey? Blame The Baboons.
Thursday, March 25th, 2010
I just realized that today, March 25th, is the birthday of one of my favorite singer/song-writers, the great Sir Elton Hercules John.
I still have vivid, wonderful memories of the day so many years ago when hubby Mark and I saw Elton John perform in New York’s Central Park, outrageous duck costume and all.
Birthday Limerick For Elton John
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Happy birthday, dear Elton H. John.
Love your tunes and your duck suit. Sing on!
You can never go wrong
With a Taupin-teamed song.
Yes, your music’s a sine qua non.
Tags: Bernie Taupin, Celebrity Birthdays, Central Park, Elton John, March Holidays, Popular Music
Posted in Celebrity Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Public Figures | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, March 24th, 2010
Congratulations to my friend, humor columnist Rose Valenta on the publication of her book Sitting on Cold Porcelain.
Here’s the limerick I wrote for Rose in honor of her book’s publication:
A columnist — let’s call her Rose —
Writes delightfully humorous prose.
The news is her muse.
She’s a cure for the blues.
Just don’t read her while trying to doze.
Tags: Book Reviews, Rose Valenta
Posted in Books, Humor Books | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Rose Valenta
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman whose hair was quite gray…
Here’s mine:
Not-So-Colorful Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman whose hair was quite gray
Was told she should dye it — said “Nay!”
She opined that most tresses
When colored were messes,
And cautioned that “Dye does not pay.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Aging Limerick, Getting Older Verse, Gray Hair, Hair Dye Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Physical Appearance, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010
From time to time, I review a television show, movie, or play via limerick. I wrote this verse after renting True Blood’s first season via Blockbuster and learning that we have to wait a couple of months before the second one becomes available.
Not only do I love this HBO show, I even adore its theme song: Bad Things, by Jace Everett.
Hooked On True Blood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My latest addiction’s True Blood.
Not the drink, but the cable show, bud.
I watched the first season
And well beyond reason
Need more. Not released yet? Oh, crud!
Tags: Cable-TV Humor, HBO, Jace Everett, Television Limerick, True Blood
Posted in Addiction Humor, Entertainment Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Media Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 17th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as its first line:
There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air.
Here’s mine:
A Season For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a hint of sweet spring in the air,
And I’m strolling outside, both arms bare.
Yes, I know it can’t last.
Winter surely will blast
One more storm, but right now I don’t care.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, you’re welcome to join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: March Holidays, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Verse, Spring Holidays, Spring Limerick, Weather Poem, Winter Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Seasons Humor, Walking Humor, Weather Humor | 19 Comments »
Sunday, March 14th, 2010
Apple and Google are in the midst of a fascinating feud over their competing products, Apple’s iPhone and Google’s Android. Oddly enough, Apple’s co-founder Steve Jobs and Google’s chief executive Eric Schmidt once worked well together, even bringing Google’s search and mapping services to Apple’s iPhone. But Apple’s feeling aggrieved these days and has filed suit against mobile phone maker (and Google supplier) HTC, alleging HTC violated Apple’s iPhone patents.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Patently Evil?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a battle in hi-tech computing:
Yes, Google and Apple are feuding.
It’s Android v. iPhone.
Says Jobs, you stole my phone,
Alleging a large patent looting.
Tags: Android Operating System, Apple, Business Verse, Computer Verse, Do No Evil, Eric Schmidt, Google, HTC, IPhone, Legal Limerick, Litigation Poem, Patent Humor, Smartphones, Steve Jobs, Technology Verse
Posted in Business Humor, Computer Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Mobile Web, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on Patently Evil? (Litigation Limerick)
Sunday, March 14th, 2010
Are you as sick as I am of our twice-yearly clock-adjustment ritual? Do you think, as I do, that we have more than enough daylight and that there’s no need to save any?
I’m sorry, but my internal clock is sufficiently confused and doesn’t need Daylight Savings Time to make my chronic insomnia even worse. And I’m inclined to clock the next person who reminds me to change my damn clocks.
Save Me From Daylight Savings Time (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My natural clock is a mess.
Just thinking of sleep gives me stress.
Spring forward—fall back
Makes me more out of whack.
So I don’t change my clocks — I just guess.
(More DST humor here.)
Tags: Clocks Limerick, Daylight Savings Time, DST Humor, Holiday Poetry, Insomnia Humor, March Holidays, Standard Time, Time Humor, Time Verse
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Celebrations Poetry, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Seasons Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor, Time Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, March 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this as a first line:
A wealthy old fellow named Bart…
Here’s mine:
A Limerick Meal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old fellow named Bart
Began ev’ry meal with a fart.
When guests came to dine
They’d pretend all was fine
Cuz they hoped to inherit his art.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Art Limerick, Digestion Humor, Dinner Humor, Fart Limerick, Greed Humor, Inheritance Humor, Money Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Smell Humor | 12 Comments »
Tuesday, March 9th, 2010
In simpler (pre-social networking) days, I suffered from just one web addiction — checking my email. And that was bad enough.
But now it’s Facebook and Twitter and blogging, oh my!
And for some people, it’s even worse. I guess I should be relieved that I don’t especially dig Digg, and that MySpace hasn’t invaded my brain space. And that (so far, at least) I’ve withstood the lure of most of the social networking and social media websites listed here in all their gory glory.
Because, as you can tell from this limerick, I don’t need any more web obsessions:
Feed Needs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m addicted to Facebook, it’s true,
And Twitter and weblogging too.
I’m desp’rately hooked.
All my hours are booked
On my quest to be fed something new.
Tags: Blogging Obsession, Email Limerick, Facebook Limerick, Social Media Poetry, Social Networking Humor, Twitter Verse, Web Addict
Posted in Addiction Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Blogging Humor, Communication Humor, Computer Humor, Email Humor, Facebook Humor, Internet Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Social Satire, Technology Humor, Time Humor, Twitter Humor | 3 Comments »
Sunday, March 7th, 2010
Millions of my fellow New Yorkers are very unhappy today because they can’t watch the Oscars or anything else on ABC. Why? Because their cable company, Cablevision, is having a financial feud with Disney-ABC.
My mother-in-law, for instance, doesn’t know or care who’s at fault. She just figures that for all the money she pays each month, she’s entitled to her nightly dose of Diane.
Ironically, my husband and I have no such problem because we don’t have cable-TV. In fact we don’t pay for TV access at all.
It’s not that we don’t watch television. It’s just that there are other things we prefer to overpay for.
Besides, we get ABC and the other networks plus sundry other stations just fine with a $40 pair of Philips “rabbit ears.” It may
not be an elegant-looking solution. But it sure beats those monthly bills.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Rabbit Ears
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some New Yorkers with cable-TV
Are freaking — can’t get ABC
And its Oscar show bash,
Though they pay tons of cash,
While our “rabbit ears” get it for free.
Tags: Cable-TV Humor, Digital Antennas, Disney-ABC, Entertainment Limerick, Minimalism, Money Poems, New York Verse, Technology Limerick, Television Limerick
Posted in Entertainment Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Minimalist Humor, Money & Finance Humor, New York Limericks & Haiku, Technology Humor, Television (TV) Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, March 5th, 2010
Yesterday I celebrated National Grammar Day by writing this limerick. Well, on the theory that syntax mockery ain’t a sin, I’ve written another:
Yet Another Limerick Ode To National Grammar Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sometimes grammar rules feel like a yoke,
Like a jailer you’re dying to poke.
Though they live for a reason,
To break them ain’t treason.
Cuz guidelines are meant to be broke.
Related Post: Stop Yelling!!!!!!!!!!
Tags: Grammar Limerick, March Holidays, National Grammar Day, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Communication Humor, Holiday Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 4 Comments »
Thursday, March 4th, 2010
I just found out that today, March 4th, is National Grammar Day. So I decided to celebrate with a limerick:
Limerick Ode To National Grammar Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s National Grammar Day. Wow!
Is syntax important? And how!
Though the rules may confuse,
You should never abuse
Our great language. So rules them learn now!!!
Related Posts: Stop Yelling!!!!!!!!!! and Yet Another National Grammar Day Limerick.
Tags: Grammar Limerick, March Holidays, National Grammar Day, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Communication Humor, Holiday Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with one of these two alternative first lines:
There once was a kitty named Brad…
or
There once was a fellow named Brad…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard five-line limerick is fine, of course.)
Catty Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a kitty named Brad
Whose attraction to catnip was rad.
He would sniff it and eat it
And quickly deplete it.
Was kitty addicted? A tad.
When his owner had failed to buy more,
The kitty sneaked into a store
And ate all the herb,
But got caught at the curb
Sound asleep and beginning to snore.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Related Posts: First (And Last) Visit and Ode To Genetically Altered Cats
Tags: Addiction Poem, Cat Humor, Catnip Limerick, Cats Humor, Pet Store Humor, Pets Verse, Poetry Prompt, Writing Prompts
Posted in Addiction Humor, Animal & Pet Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 13 Comments »
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
Dear Press: Clean Up Your Own Damn Mess! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We get headlines each March from the press:
“It’s Spring — Time To Clean Up Your Mess.”
Seems they’re too dumb to know
That we’re still getting snow.
Dear journos, stop giving me stress!
Related Post: Guilt Springs Eternal
Tags: House & Home, Household Chores, March Holidays, Media Limerick, Seasonal Verse, Spring Cleaning, Stress Humor, Weather Poem
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Chores Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Media Humor, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
