Archive for October, 2007
Wednesday, October 31st, 2007
There’s nothing quite like a tough mental challenge. And I sure had a good time with this one, prompting me to write something (in my case, a limerick) using these three words: phone, stumbled and windy.
The Joys Of Winter
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It was windy and snowy. I stumbled.
Then I fell and my keys and phone tumbled
And slid down the ice.
I yelled words not so nice.
“How rude!” an old passerby grumbled.
And speaking of winter, it’s almost time to start worrying about your office Christmas party.
Tags: Bad Manners, Poetry & Prompts, Seasonal Humor, Snow Poetry, Weather, Winter Humor
Posted in Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Seasons Humor, Weather Humor | 19 Comments »
Monday, October 29th, 2007
Something tells me that writing this post amounts to begging for more spam. If so, I’ll just have to post some extra spam haiku.
But getting back to today’s joker of a topic, last year, when my husband Mark and I vacationed in Las Vegas, Mark gambled away twenty bucks — tops, and I didn’t gamble at all. Okay, I did get on a plane, but other than that…
And that brings me to today’s limerick:
Me Gamble? No Dice!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
You should never play cards on a lark
With a Vegas-style card-wielding shark.
Whether blackjack or poker,
Don’t deal with a joker
And gamble at being a mark.
UPDATE: Happy National Dice Day, December 4th!
Tags: Blackjack, Card Humor, Card Sharks, December Holidays, Gambling Verse, Gaming Poem, Last Vegas, National Dice Day, Poker, Weekend Wordsmith
Posted in Gambling & Gaming Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays, Recreation & Fun Humor, Spam Humor | 3 Comments »
Friday, October 26th, 2007
This week’s 3 Word Wednesday words are Care, Unexpected, and Weekend. Somehow they eventually managed to fit inside a limerick:
Possibly Good, Albeit Annoying Advice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ev’ry weekend take time to forget
All your worries and cares and your debt.
Please don’t aim for perfected.
Embrace unexpected.
Try yoga. Play Set. Buy a pet.
Tags: Advice, Anxiety, Minimalism, Yoga
Posted in Advice Humor & Poems, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Health & Medical Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Mental Health Humor, Minimalist Humor | 6 Comments »
Thursday, October 25th, 2007
I’m an insomniac and I must admit to taking a bit of solace at learning from a podcast that “zebrafish – a common aquarium pet – can have a genetic mutation linked to sleep problems.”
That calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Fishing for Company
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I can’t sleep. I don’t know what to do.
Troubling thoughts seem to come, right on cue.
But my iPod distracts me
With news that attracts me:
“Sometimes fish get insomnia too.”
(You can find more of my pets and animals humor here and my health humor here.)
Tags: Animals, Fish Humor, Insomnia Humor, iPod, Scientific Research, Sleeplessness, Zebrafish Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Health & Medical Humor, Limericks, Science Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 4 Comments »
Wednesday, October 24th, 2007
Many prestigious and popular sites just took a huge Google PageRank hit. For instance, The Washington Post, Forbes, The Chicago Sun-Times, and SFGate.com have all dropped from a 7 to a 5.
Search engine experts and webmasters are speculating that Google is punishing these and numerous other sites because of their advertising practices. And that brings me to my latest haiku:
Is Google at war,
Smiting ad revenue streams
That bypass Google?
(You can find more of my technology, computer, and search engine humor here and my news haiku here.)
Tags: Technology Haiku , Computer Humor, Google Humor, PageRank Poetry, Revenue Streams, Search Engine Humor, Webmaster Poetry
Posted in Haiku & Senryu, Money & Finance Humor, Search Engine Tools, Technology Humor | Comments Off on Is Google At War?
Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
Toying With Kites (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The sight of a kite in the sky
Is delightful and lovely, so why
Is it quite impolite
To say, “Go fly a kite!”
This idiom just doesn’t fly.
Don’t forget to celebrate Go Fly A Kite Day every June 15th. (It’s believed to be the anniversary of Ben Franklin’s 1752 kite experiment.)
(You can find more of my outdoor sports humor here.)
Tags: Ben Franklin, Idiom Humor, June Holidays, Kite Experiment, Kite Flying, Language Satire, Outdoors Verse, Science, Sports Limerick
Posted in Hobbies Humor, Language Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Science Humor, Sports Humor, Wordplay | 6 Comments »
Monday, October 22nd, 2007
I love a good challenge, and Tricia at Miss Rumphius has provided a tough one: Write a poem that begins with one of five preexisting lines. I’ve written both a limerick and a four-liner, altering the limerick’s first line a bit so it conforms to limerick rhythm rules.
Here’s my limerick:
Time Travel
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Please stop all the clocks. Cut the phone.
Pull the plug on each ’puter you own.
Ain’t the silence sublime
As you go back in time?
With your thoughts you’re at last all alone.
And here’s my four-liner:
I wandered lonely as a cloud,
While wondering why I felt so cowed
By life, while others lived unbowed.
Must be like them, I vowed, aloud.
UPDATE: My limerick seems appropriate for Simplicity Day, celebrated July 12th in honor of Henry David Thoreau’s birthday.
Tags: Henry David Thoreau, July Holidays, Mind & Spirit, Minimalism, Odd Holidays, Simplicity Day, Technology Limerick, Time Travel
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Mental Health Humor, Minimalist Humor, Odd Holidays, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor, Time Humor | 15 Comments »
Sunday, October 21st, 2007
These two horse-related poems were loosely inspired by this week’s Totally Optional Prompt:
First, a limerick:
A Horse of A Different Color
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are folks who succumb to a weakness
For races like Belmont and Preakness.
But there’s only one horse
Race I’ll bet on—the course
To the White House—a sign of my geekness?
And now, a haiku about New York City:
Trumpeting cars horns.
Clip-clopping carriage horses.
Central Park Sunday.
(You can find more of my horse humor here.)
Tags: Belmont Stakes, Central Park, Horse Humor, Horse Racing, New York, Political Horse Race, Preakness Stakes, Triple Crown
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, New York Limericks & Haiku, Outdoors Humor, Queens Verse & Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | 17 Comments »
Sunday, October 21st, 2007
Did you know that the Xerox office copying revolution was born on October 22, 1938? This led to two large drops: Mimeographic machine sales … and men’s pants.
Tags: Historical Dates, Jokes, October Holidays, One-Liners, Tech Humor, Xerox Copy Machines
Posted in Business Humor, History Humor, Jokes & One-Liners, Technology Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on Great Moments In History: Happy Birthday Xerox Copier!
Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
I’ve decided to join in on the fun over at this week’s 3 Word Wednesday. Here’s how it works:
Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything.
This week’s three words are Field, Hide, and Second. They inspired me to write both a limerick and a haiku. Here’s my limerick:
Bridling At A Question
By Madeleine Begun Kane
At his question, I’m fit to be tied
Cuz it comes from left field. I must hide!
He can see I might flee.
“Just a second,” says he.
“I am begging you. Please be my bride!”
And here’s my haiku:
Though I want to hide,
If only for a second,
I field her question.
Last week’s words were Initial, Knock, and Weather, for which I wrote this serious haiku:
How do they weather
that initial door knock with
news: “Your loved one’s dead.”
Tags: 3 Word Wednesday, Haiku & Senryu, Limericks, Verse
Posted in General, Haiku & Senryu, Limericks | 17 Comments »
Monday, October 15th, 2007
Did you know that tomorrow, October 16th, is National Boss Day? So, are you excited yet?
I thought I’d “celebrate” National Boss Day with a pair of limericks:
Workplace Diplomacy Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Please mind your own business, I said,
To a woman whose presence I dread.
She is pushy and rude,
Rather nosy and crude.
Even worse—she’s the gal my boss wed.
A Brief Beef
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My boss yelled, “I’ve got a big beef:
Your briefings are seldom … well … brief.
I want the essentials.
You give me tangentials.”
“So long,” I replied, with relief.
(You can find my National Bosses Day limerick here and more of my employment humor here.)
Tags: Boss Humor, Briefings Humor, National Boss Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Work Humor, Workplace Diplomacy
Posted in Business Humor, Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, October 15th, 2007
This pair of short, music-related verse was loosely inspired by this week’s Totally Optional Prompt.
Musical Question
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I watch a flautist play the flute.
She’s really great—there’s no dispute.
Distraction strikes: I know it’s moot,
But why don’t lautists play the lute?
Second Chair Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“I play second chair symphony flute,”
Said the flautist. (“My wife plays the lute.”)
“How I wish I had clout!
Then I’d fire the lout
Who plays first chair. He’s here cause he’s cute.”
(You can find more of my song parodies here.)
Tags: Flute Humor, Lute Limerick, Music Poems, Musical Instruments, Musical Verse, Symphony Humor
Posted in Limericks, Music Humor & Verse | 15 Comments »
Wednesday, October 10th, 2007
The Definitive Bad Date (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A salty young gal is enraged
When she learns that her date is engaged,
So she curses the fellow—
Spews hate with a bellow,
Then shoots. Guess her anger ain’t staged.
NOTE: This limerick was loosely inspired by the inaugural edition of Totally Optional Prompts, which is an outgrowth of the late, lamented Poetry Thursday.
(You can find more of my dating humor here.)
Tags: Anger, Date Humor, Men and Women, Violence
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Dating Humor, General, Guns & Safety Humor, Limericks, Relationship Humor | 14 Comments »
Monday, October 8th, 2007
Here’s an oddball byproduct of global warming: New York State Park officials reopened Long Island beaches for swimming this Columbus Day weekend because of unseasonably warm temperatures.
For the first time in more than three decades, beaches on Long Island will be open for swimming in October.
It’s because of this unseasonably warm weather. The average high in October is 64 degrees. Friday’s high was 86!
So you could swim as if it were July, celebrate Columbus Day, and shop for Halloween decorations all on the same afternoon.
And speaking of Halloween, it seems that adults have stolen it from their kids.
One sign of just how much Halloween has changed and can change is the relatively rapid development of it from a children’s holiday into a largely adult holiday. Adults are spending more and more on Halloween costumes, favors, and parties. Children’s celebrations have been curtailed and eclipsed. …
And that cries out for a limerick:
Hijacking Halloween
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The holiday called Halloween
Has been hijacked by grownups. How mean!
In their masks, adults stroll,
Looking scary or droll—
Some in garb that would best suit a teen.
(You can find more of my holiday humor here.)
Tags: Columbus Day, Halloween Humor, Holiday Weekend, Long Island, New York Beaches, October Holidays, Swimming
Posted in Celebrations Poetry, Holiday Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Sunday, October 7th, 2007
Chick Flick Flack
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When a film’s called a chick flick, it’s meant
To appeal to most women. How bent!
I’m a gal through and through,
But those flicks make me boo,
While my husband applauds. What a gent!
(You can find more of my marriage humor here and my feminist humor here.)
Tags: Chick Flicks, Feminism Humor, Films, Husband Wife Humor, Movies
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Entertainment Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Feminist Satire, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor | 4 Comments »
