Bill Collection Time (A Legal Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The judge viewed your case with derision,
So he rendered an adverse decision.
But when paying my bill,
Do not bear me ill will,
‘Cause I saved you from going to prison.
UPDATE: Don’t forget to enter my Mother’s Day limerick writing contest. The deadline is May 12, 2007 and there are money prizes for the best two limericks.
My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly. And it’s time for another one.
So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007. I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.
The first prize will be $25. The second prize will be $10. Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.
So, what exactly is a limerick? It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)
I’m looking forward to reading your entries!
UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity, there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!
UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.
American Idol — My Guilty Pleasure
By Madeleine Begun Kane
American Idol’s a show
I enjoy. Why? I really don’t know:
Awful singing, odd judging,
And, maybe, vote fudging.
I’m missing it now. Gotta go!
Early in our marriage, my husband Mark worked as a computer programmer and was on over-night call:
Sleepless In Geekdom
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My husband’s a super-smart geek
Who’s on overnight call once a week.
And those questions they pose
After wrecking our doze
Sound, to me, much like Latin or Greek.
UPDATE: Happy International Programmers’ Day, January 7th!
And happy Geek Pride Day, May 25th!
And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Happiness Carnival
* Ringing of the Bards
A Doggone Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“It’s so cute!” said the child, with delight.
“You can’t have it,” said Mom. “Puppies bite.
It’s adorable, true,
But dogs nip, bark, and chew,
And your Daddy will cower in fright.”
UPDATE: Happy National Puppy Day! (March 23rd)
I’m afraid I can’t stop writing tax return limericks — probably because it’s a lot more fun than actually working on my tax return.
Yet Another Tax Filing Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Why does tax filing time cause such stress?
Wretched forms to fill out—it’s a mess!
All confused, you say, “Heck!”
Then you write out a check
For what’s due or, at least, your best guess.
Attention fans of Good Housekeeping’s Quick & Simple: I have a humor column in its current print issue (the Special Double Issue dated April 24, 2007). It’s on the last page — the Smile! column — and the title is How To Read The Want Ads.
Give Me A Break!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The play was quite talky and lacked
Something crucial. It had but one act.
What was missing, you say?
Not one break in that play!
While they blathered, my bladder was racked.
Some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Carnival of Feminists
* Carnival of Family Life and more Carnival of Family Life
* Blawg Review 103
So, have you started working on your income tax return yet? Me neither.
Form 1040 Blues
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a tax form that makes me irate:
Form 1040, a long form I hate,
Due mid-April, each year,
With my check. (Will it clear?)
It’s no wonder I always file late.
Collegiate Conversation
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Tell me, why are you being so mean?”
Cried the girl to the college’s dean.
“I aced every test.
At my school I’m the best.”
“Reapply,” he replied, “at thirteen.”
STOP YELLING!!!!!!!!!!!!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Those points that are meant to exclaim
Often bug me. Yes, bangs seem quite lame.
I abuse them, at times,
When excited by rhymes!!!!
But usage that’s spare is my aim.
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
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